Akane Revised
by A-kun
Summary: Akane Tendo is not the girl she was yesterday. Who is she now? What does this mean for the rest of Nerima? And why is Ranma falling in love with her?
1. Akane's Change

Akane Tendo woke up a new woman. Her body, while still in the   
throes of puberty, had gained three centimeters in height, her bust   
line had expanded into the grey area between B-cup and C-cup, and her   
muscles had gained more endurance and strength. She would be turning   
seventeen in a month. However, that wasn't what was important.  
The important thing was that the mind, spirit and soul of Akane   
Tendo were not in Akane Tendo's body. Because Akane Tendo had, in a   
moment of depression, wished upon a strange-looking star she could be   
someone else. That wish had been granted.  
The person who's mind, spirit and soul was in Akane Tendo was a   
bit surprised, to say the least. Mostly because she had been a he.   
And while his body had been wracked with various minor medical   
problems, he had no clue as to why he would be in someone else's body   
without dying and there wasn't anything wrong with his body to warrant   
sudden death.  
His mind snapped onto a horrible conclusion. He had called that   
bad Thai food poisonous, but he hadn't been expected to be proven   
right. And now he had been reincarnated as a sixteen year old girl.  
In Japan.  
The new Akane Tendo blinked. She was certain in cases of   
reincarnation, one wasn't supposed to recall one's former life. Or at   
least, it didn't normally happen. Especially not so clearly. And   
wasn't the soul supposed to-  
The new Akane Tendo halted. Could the soul and spirit of this   
body have wished for death so greatly that he had been transferred into   
the body rather than being sent to the afterworld?  
What a sad turn of events. She sighed. Well, since this body   
was hers, she had to get to work learning about it. First off, a name.   
She grabbed a notebook and looked through it for a constant name.  
'Akane Tendo' was a frivolous girl. Instead of focusing on   
school, she drew in her notebook, and while it was better than her   
former self could do, it was pointless scribbles.  
"If I had to be reincarnated, I wish it HADN'T been into an   
airhead." Akane grumbled.  
She also took note of a lot of pictures of a man in his late   
twenties, early thirties wearing glasses, a black dougi, and a   
ponytail. His hair was brown, as were his eyes. Tofu Ono was written   
above his head with numberous hearts around it, as well as name   
combinations like 'Tofu Tendo' and 'Akane Ono'.  
Akane rolled her eyes. He looked like a nice guy, but she used   
to be a guy. And like hell was she getting in bed with any guy simply   
because her body's former soul wanted to. Since she was now a girl,   
she'd have to score with some other ladies.  
She paused. The calendar said it was the same year, even the   
next day. In about a month and a half would have been her old self's   
birthday. She shook her head. She'd double-checked the calendar year   
to make sure she didn't wind up in the 1950s, where girl-girl   
relationships still occurred, they were just hush-hush. Or so the   
rumors went.  
She found a family photo on her desk and looked at it. Three   
girls and a middle age man were smiling in front of a cave. The man   
had long black hair with a thick black mustache to compliment. He had   
tanned skin. She recalled his name was 'Soun' and he was her new   
biological father.  
The other two girls looked older than her, but not by much.   
First was a girl with long brown hair wearing pink shirt with yellow   
letter and purple slacks. Her name was Kasumi. The next girl had a   
short brown hair in a bowl cut, with a green blouse and a heavy white   
skirt. Her name was Nabiki.  
Akane cursed her luck. The girl with the bowl cut would have   
looked better in some tight jeans. Too bad she was family.  
  
Akane was thankful it was a Sunday and one where her former self   
had no plans. It gave her time to meditate and take in many of the   
memories that her body still retained.  
When no more relevant information was coming to her, she stood   
and began flowing gently through a kata the old Akane knew, something   
that she found relaxing. Not surprising, given the old Akane's focus   
on martial arts, but she absolutely stunk at her own style.  
The old Akane did everything straight, hard and focused on power.   
The new Akane knew that was worth horseshit in terms of combat.   
Straight attacks were good and all, but the old Akane focused on the   
Martial part and decided to forsake the Art half.  
Gentle, flowing, and with patience. Finishing quickly was not   
important. Going through a kata in thirty seconds was fine, but if one   
made numerous errors, it was worthless.  
Soun watched Akane go through a form with calm and patience that   
Soun had NEVER seen the girl with. Soun decided to comment, "Akane, is   
something wrong? You aren't your usual self." Soun left out how he   
felt this change was definitely for the better.  
"No, not really. I just noticed I've been making a lot of   
mistakes in my katas, so I decided to slow it down so I could get them   
down." Akane responded as she continued flowing through her kata.  
Soun nearly burst into tears, but managed to reign himself in.   
He'd seen how his daughters had reacted to losing their mother. Kasumi   
had retreated to her own little world, Nabiki became their financial   
pillar but lost many of her morals, and Akane had grown more and more   
violent and angry. So much to the point that Soun had deliberately   
stopped training her to keep her from hurting people in her temper   
tantrums. He hadn't done anything to try and break them out of it   
because he himself hadn't quite worked through the pain and grief and   
didn't want to be too hypocritical.  
Now Akane was starting to calm herself and open to the true   
aspects of a martial artist, rather than the way of the petty thug.  
"Akane, I think you may be ready for more training... but I'll   
need to test you." Soun declared, causing Akane to stop in surprise.  
Akane nodded as Soun took up a ready stance across from her.   
Akane shifted from her stance in her kata into a fighting stance that,   
Soun curiously noted, was from a Korean Short Karate style. Akane had   
focused entirely on Kempo to Soun's knowledge.  
Soun charged and leapt at Akane with a flying leap that the old   
Akane wouldn't have been able to dodge. The new Akane was an expert at   
dodging and a better tactician. She tucked and rolled out of the way,   
getting out of range of Soun's inevitable second attack, which was a   
clothesline attack for the students who simply dodged. Most didn't see   
it coming.  
Soun turned and hastily blocked as Akane's fighting style flowed   
from her old brute strength form to Shorin-Ryu style karate to Sumotori   
to Korean Short Karate to... some style he didn't know. Soun was   
caught off guard by the sudden double jumpkick and staggered back while   
Akane spun quickly, landing on her butt and rolling to her feet before   
the shock of landing could really set in.  
"End." Soun said hastily as Akane prepared another attack.  
Akane relaxed and began rubbing her sore butt. WWF wrestlers   
made that technique look a lot easier, but then again, they didn't do   
the somersault to return to their feet quickly.  
"I'm impressed. You've finally overcome the weakness that had   
been keeping you back. You'd failed to notice the 'Anything Goes' part   
of our family style before now." Soun declared.  
"Really?" Akane inquired. That meant the Anything Goes was   
closer to her old personal style. How unfortunate she'd never known   
about it before the transference.  
Soun nodded, "I think you're finally ready for the advanced   
training..."  
  
Akane groaned as she eased herself off the bathseat. Advanced   
training had been so exhuasting that she hadn't even had the time to   
explore her new body sexually. Having been a hormonally driven male,   
seeing what delights a female body could produce would have been a   
priority (admittedly, lower than making sure she fit in), but Soun's   
training had killed any chance of enjoying that.  
Akane, despite being fairly fit for sixteen, was in agony. Her   
memory couldn't find another moment when her muscles ached so much.   
She sighed in relief as she eased herself into the tub, the heat easing   
the sore spots perfectly.  
Her older sister Nabiki entered. Akane found the ceiling   
interesting while she tried _not_ to have sexual thoughts about her new   
sister. Nabiki was well-lathered when she turned to Akane, who had   
returned enjoying the healing power of the hot water she was in.  
"Anything new happen today?" Nabiki inquired conversationally.  
"Dad's finally training me up to master-level in our school."   
Akane spoke up.  
Nabiki arched an eyebrow. She knew her father could do foolish   
things, but Akane learning the master level of the Anything Goes school   
was not something he did lightly.  
"Say, Nabiki, you were fairly good at martial arts, why did you   
quit?" Akane inquired.  
"Didn't have the time. I have a social life now." Nabiki   
responded.  
"If you say so. By the way, you can stop buyings bricks and   
stuff now. I don't need that stuff anymore." Akane told Nabiki.  
Had Nabiki been drinking something, she would have done a spit-  
take.  
"WHAT?!" Nabiki inquired.  
"I. Don't. Need. That. Stuff. Anymore." Akane repeated   
slowly.  
"You? Akane, that's almost like saying you don't need to eat."   
Nabiki stated.  
"Look, I simply have no need for them. What good is it to gauge   
my strength by breaking boards or bricks? A trained monkey can do   
that. Hell, a monkey can do that without needing to be trained. I   
don't need strength anymore. I need focus and discipline." Akane   
responded.  
Nabiki suddenly hugged Akane, tears in her eyes as she blathered   
out, "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"  
"iiiiitteeeee!" Akane whimpered out as the hug caused most of the   
sore muscles to scream "I HURT, DON'T MOVE ME, BUTTMUNCH!".  
Nabiki didn't care, she was so happy that yet another drain on   
the family resources was now gone. Even at secondhand prices, they   
were gouging a good portion of money from Nabiki's purse. (1)  
  
The next day, Akane woke up ahead of time and got dressed in   
record time, her muscles having mostly recovered from the advanced   
training. Kasumi was surprised when Akane helped her make the rice for   
breakfast and didn't even make her usual mistake when she asked Akane   
to wash the rice. Kasumi was especially thankful because it had cost   
quite a bit to have the washing machine fixed after that mistake and   
she hated to waste food.  
Akane _had_ asked a number of questions before doing the assigned   
task, but Kasumi was just grateful that Akane hadn't tried to force   
herself through the process.  
"It's nice of you to help out in the kitchen, Akane." Kasumi said   
sincerely.  
For some reason that she didn't truly understand, Akane felt   
incredibly proud when Kasumi said that, "It's no problem. It's the   
least I can do, what with you making all our meals. Once I start   
getting the hang of cooking in Home Ec, would you mind if I started   
helping out more?"  
"Not at all." Kasumi said, this time, managing to refrain from   
cringing openly.  
"Great. I'll get out the bento boxes." Akane responded, beaming   
with a pride that she couldn't really understand.  
  
Akane couldn't believe a whole week had passed so well. She was   
still trying to get it through to the daily Horde that she wasn't   
interested. At Nabiki's request, she continued to fight through the   
Horde at top speed, but she'd told Nabiki to find another source of   
income because Akane wasn't going to tolerate that forever.  
Nabiki noticed, however, that while Akane was still disabling the   
horde, it was with stopping force, not pounding force. She was   
sincerely pulling her attacks and still managing to beat the Horde and   
Tatewaki.  
Kasumi and Akane's Home Ec teacher were both pleasantly surprised   
as Akane began learning how to cook actual food rather than things that   
had to be thrown away, pot or pan included. (2) Of course, they didn't   
come out looking right, but they didn't taste bad, nor were they   
secretly poisonous. (3)  
Akane returned home Saturday afternoon to see Soun reading a   
postcard.  
"Who's that from, dad?" Akane inquired, before taking note of   
both Nabiki and Kasumi's presense.  
"Akane, please sit down with your sisters." Soun answered.  
Akane quirked an eyebrow, but sat down anyway, next to Nabiki.  
"I just got a postcard from an old friend of mine, who's been on   
a ten year training journey with his son. Recently, they've crossed   
into China and now they're coming back." Soun declared.  
"That's nice, so they're going to be houseguests for a while?"   
Akane guessed, grabbing a cracker and nibbling on it.  
"Sort of. You see, it's been the dream of Genma and I to have   
our families unite. So, if everything turns out all right, his son   
will be engaged to one of your girls." Soun responded.  
"So... what's he like, this boy?" Nabiki inquired.  
"I don't know." Soun replied.  
"You don't know?" Akane asked, staring at the back of her   
father's head with an intensity that if she had Superman's heat vision,   
she would have blown Soun's head off, destroyed a satelite and bisected   
a passing comet.  
"I've never met him." Soun declared.  
Soun was a bit put off as a partially eaten cracker bounced off   
his head, but the fact that it was thrown by Nabiki was more   
surprising.  
"What kind of idiot engages his daughters to a boy without   
knowing what he's like?! He could be a food thief, obnoxious, rude or   
something!" Nabiki growled.  
"My cracker...." Akane moaned, looking at the ruined snack with   
heavy remorse in her voice.  
Kasumi headed to the kitchen to get the hand brush and dust pan.   
It was just then that the front door opened.  
"That must be him!" Soun exclaimed, hurrying to the door.  
"Come on, we should at least meet him." Akane told Nabiki,   
hopping to her feet.  
Nabiki grumbled angrily, but stood up anyways. Then, Kasumi and   
Soun raced back into the living room, followed by a large panda and a   
redhaired person on the panda's left shoulder.  
"Knock it off, pops, you're scarin' 'em spitless!" the redhead   
said, kicking the panda while she pounded on it's head and back.  
[What kind of name is 'Pops' for a panda?] Akane wondered, having   
dismissed the panda as a trained pet.  
Then, as the panda set the redhead down in front of Soun, Akane   
took note of the large bulge in the redhead's shirt.  
"You'd wouldn't be..." Soun began.  
"Ranma Saotome, sorry about this." the redhead declared.  
"Oh well. Looks like uniting the school is a bust." Akane   
sighed, before snickering at the pun.  
That caught Soun's attention before he could hug Ranma.  
"What?" Soun inquired.  
Akane sighed and walked up behind Ranma. Ranma yelped in   
surprise as Akane cupped the redhead's breasts and hefted them, "Last   
time I checked, girls can't have children with other girls unless it's   
by adoption."  
Soun took note of Ranma's breasts as Akane stepped away, though   
Ranma noticed that Akane's hands seemed to linger.  
"Wh-where is your father?" Soun asked.  
"He's right behind me." Ranma answered.  
Soun glanced at the panda, then realized Ranma must've been   
speaking figuratively, "Coming later, eh? Well, I guess we'll... just   
have to discuss this when he arrives."  
Ranma looked ready to say something, when Akane interjected, "We   
can at least be friends. My name is Akane. Wanna take a look around?"  
"I guess it couldn't hurt." Ranma replied.  
Akane took Ranma's hand and smiled, "Come on, I'll show you the   
dojo."  
Akane turned away before she saw Ranma's blush and led the   
redheaded girl to the dojo.  
  
"You've studied Kempo, right?" Akane inquired as she adjusted her   
dougi top. Ranma's blush deepened as she noticed Akane didn't like   
wearing a bra underneath her top, which allowed the dougi-clad girl's   
breasts to fill out the fabric more. Of course, Akane had changed in   
front of Ranma, so that had added to the blush.  
"A little" Ranma told her.  
"Any other styles?" Akane asked.  
"I think a bit of Wu Shu, but I don't remember a lot of the   
names. It was pretty much just training in those styles. Pops always   
told me to focus on the training, so I never spent much time memorizing   
the names until I was about ten or so." Ranma responded.  
"Would you mind sparring with me? I may not be up to the level   
of someone who's been training for ten years solid like you, but I want   
to see how good we are." Akane begged.  
"Okay." Ranma answered.  
Ranma was a little surprised when Akane took up a karate stance,   
rather than one typical of kempo. The two were similar, but Ranma   
could see the subtle differences. Akane pushed off and seemed to glide   
across the dojo floor before delivering a strong punch.  
"You know karate too?" Ranma inquired as she dodged by bending a   
bit.  
"Some." Akane answered, backing away and reassessing Ranma.  
Ranma's dodging skills were impressive. No solid hit was going   
to get the blue-eyed busty girl, so it was time to switch to her more   
nimble attacks. Ranma was taken aback when Akane launched forward with   
a flathand thrust, then retracted her ring and pinky finger to chase   
after Ranma's form with her index and middle as Ranma bent away to   
dodge.  
Ranma realized she would get tagged if she didn't take action.   
She continued to bend backwards, snapping her hands above her head to   
touch the dojo floor as her legs seized Akane's arm and sent the Tendo   
girl flying across the dojo.  
Akane, however, controlled her spin and landed before she could   
reach the dojo wall. Ranma returned to her feet and reassessed the   
Tendo girl. She wasn't as bad as Ranma had originally thought her to   
be. Most Dojo students were very bad, usually so set in their ways   
that the instant their opponent switched tactics, they lost instantly.  
"Not too shabby." Ranma commented.  
"I'm impressed. I guess I need a little work to catch up with   
you. You've got a lot of agility and speed, probably mostly an aerial   
style, right?" Akane inquired.  
"Yeah. You know your stuff around martial arts." Ranma   
complimented her.  
"I gotta. I'm the current heir to the Tendo school. Wouldn't do   
if the heir to a school of martial arts sucked, ne?" Akane asked   
rheotorically before returning to her feet and smiling, "If you   
wouldn't mind, I'd like to see how you train. To keep up with you, I   
suspect I'll need quite a bit."  
"I wouldn't mind at all." Ranma answered, smiling as well.  
A while later, Ranma found herself very impressed with Akane.   
She had real potential. She had a lot of natural strength, but she   
could focus it properly and could very well become a worthy sparring   
partner in a month or so, once she got used to the acrobatics needed   
for what Ranma considered normal training.  
Not only that, but she got Ranma's little jokes. A few were   
groaners, but in all, Ranma was finding herself liking Akane. And that   
brought a bout of depression. She knew Akane would freak out once she   
knew about the curse.  
"Akane, Ranma, I've drawn a bath so you can get cleaned up before   
dinner and here, I've brought you some clean towels to use." Kasumi   
said, presenting the towels to Akane.  
Akane took the towels and passed one to Ranma, "I can see why   
you're so good. I'd be a lot better if I took to that sort of   
training. Kasumi, why don't you show Ranma the guest room? I'll bathe   
first. I need it more."  
Ranma blushed as Akane loosened her top and fanned herself as she   
left the room.  
  
Akane sighed as she put on a casual blue shirt and pants. Just   
as she was exiting her room, she heard her father call, "Akane, we've   
got an important matter to discuss in the living room."  
Akane nodded to herself. Genma had probably shown up, meaning   
the whole matter would be cleared up. Hopefully Ranma could stay.   
Akane really wanted to work with the redhead towards attaining a higher   
level of martial mastery. It didn't hurt that the girl was very cute,   
had a nice bust and a cute tush.  
Akane was beginning to wish she'd waited for Ranma before taking   
her bath, but she figured it would do better to start such a   
relationship in friendship first.  
Then they could play 'explorer woman' together.  
Akane was greeted with the sight of a husky bald man wearing a   
kerchief on his head and wearing a slightly tattered white dougi next   
to an unfamilar black-haired boy who was wearing the same outfit as   
Ranma. The boy even had the same pigtail.  
Soun motioned her daughter to sit next to Nabiki and Kasumi. She   
did so, wondering when Ranma was going to show up. It would be   
interesting to find out if the boy and Ranma were related.  
"Go on, my friend." Soun mentioned.  
"Yes, you see, close to a year ago, my son and I swam to China as   
part of an endurance test..." Genma began.  
[SWAM to China?] Akane stared at the two. Sure, the boy looked   
pretty fit, and she guessed the portly man's fat allowed him extra   
buoncy, but swimming the sea between Japan and China was a bit   
excessive. The boy looked rather irritated and kept glaring at Genma.  
"We sought many esoteric martial art techniques and training   
grounds to prove ourselves. Then, we researched and found the   
legendary cursed training ground of Jusenkyo." Genma continued.  
"Cursed training ground?" Nabiki inquired dubiously.  
Akane would have agreed, but it was no more ridiculous than   
waking up in another person's body. She was going to give the tale a   
bit more credence.  
"I have to admit I was mostly to blame for choosing it, but I was   
of the same attitude as you, girl. 'What idiot believes in curses and   
magic in this modern day and age?' I asked myself." Genma responded,   
before adding, "The honest truth is that few people do, save for the   
ones who see it up close."  
"In other words, baka-oyaji here got us both cursed. Hot water   
changes us back while cold water activates the curse." the boy   
declared.  
"Yes, but listen to yourself, boy, you're even beginning to sound   
like-" Genma turned to the boy, seizing him by the shirt before   
flinging him toward the koi pond, "A GIRL!"  
The boy landed squarely in the pond, but leapt out and splashed   
his father. Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi STARED at the again-female Ranma   
and again-panda Genma.  
"SUCK ON IT, POPS! You did this to us!" Ranma-chan roared,   
landing six punches on Genma before the Panda could retaliate with a   
paw swipe.  
"I.... see......." Kasumi murmurred.  
"Gahgah......." Nabiki managed to declare.  
"Oooooh...." Akane joined in, realizing the sort of predicament   
that would have resulted had she and Ranma shared a bath.  
Soun explained the finer details of the story while Ranma and   
Genma pounded the hell out of each other. The daughter-panda smackdown   
was finally interupted when Soun stepped between them and poured hot   
water on Genma, changing him back into a man. Genma winced, "Hot   
water, not boiling, Tendo."  
Laughing heartily, Soun patted Ranma-chan on the shoulder, "Well   
now, this isn't so bad."  
"Huh?" Ranma-chan asked.  
Soun guided Ranma back into the living room and pointed to his   
daughters, "This is Kasumi, she's 19. Nabiki, she's 17. And Akane,   
who's 16. Pick any one you want, she'll be your new fiancee."  
"Akane, you both like martial arts and you don't like boys, so   
Ranma's perfect." Nabiki said, patting Akane on the arm.  
"Uh, why not give us some time? I'm sure Ranma wouldn't mind   
delaying the engagement for a while." Kasumi interupted.  
"Hmm, not a bad idea." Soun noted.  
Genma spoke up, "No, the sooner, the better!"  
"Come, come now, Genma. We shouldn't push the children." Soun   
answered.  
"Besides, Nabiki and Akane are still in high school. We should   
at least wait until they've graduated." Kasumi said.  
Genma didn't look too pleased, but accepted it while he pouted.   
Kasumi noted that Genma looked a bit constipated. High fiber foods for   
him.  
"Besides, I need to find a cure for this! Not get a fiancee."   
Ranma-chan growled.  
"But Jusenkyo's been there for thousands of years. And the   
spring you fell into was from at least 1000 years, right?" Akane spoke   
up, looking through the Jusenkyo Curse Handbook that Genma had given   
Soun, who had, in turn, shown to his daughters.  
Ranma-chan stopped, mid-step in the direction of the front door.  
"Then wouldn't the magic be incredibly potent? Hazarding a   
guess, you'd probably need to find something just as powerful to even   
scratch that level of magic." Akane reasoned.  
"Akane?" Nabiki inquired, wondering how her sister knew about   
magic.  
"What? I read about it in the book. If Jusenkyo's magic covers   
all those springs and it's stayed around for more than 1000 years at   
the very _LEAST_, then it's not something that's just going to fade   
away on Tuesday. In fact, if no one's tried to purify Jusenkyo, then   
it's likely for a reason. Something to do with Karma." Akane explained   
before adding, "And you can't ditch karma that easily."  
"You're saying I _DESERVED_ this?" Ranma-chan inquired.  
"No, I'm not, but you might need it." Akane responded.  
Ranma-chan didn't know why, but she was very confused. She liked   
Akane, but it almost sounded like Akane was insulting her, but not   
enough for Ranma-chan to get upset. Akane stood up, walked over and   
touched Ranma-chan on the shoulder.  
"We're still friends, right? You shouldn't try and deal with a   
problem like this head on and alone. That's why you're both in this   
predicament to begin with. I'm sure that if we stop and look, we're   
bound to find some solutions." Akane responded.  
Ranma-chan tried to argue with that line of logic, "All right,   
but if we don't find nothin', I'm going back to China to find that   
cure."  
Akane smiled, "And you won't go alone. Boy or girl, it doesn't   
matter. We're friends."  
Ranma-chan found herself blushing deeply. She didn't know very   
many nice people and most of them hadn't known about her curse.  
"Okay..." Ranma-chan mumbled.  
  
Ranma arched an eyebrow, "High school? Why do I gotta go?"  
"It'll do you good, boy." Genma answered simply.  
Ranma huffed.  
"Oh, come on, Saotome. It'll do you good to have a few more   
things to do in a day besides train. Besides, until this whole   
engagement is either finalized or refused, you're going to do something   
productive to help out this household. Your father is looking for a   
job." Nabiki declared.  
Ranma sighed, "I suppose it couldn't hurt to see how dismal my   
scores are."  
"You're in luck, Furinkan isn't too high on the chart, but it   
isn't at the bottom, either. Getting in shouldn't be too difficult if   
you've paid attention to class in the last two years." Akane joined in,   
teasing Ranma.  
Ranma grumbled at the knock to his ego, but he'd already   
committed himself to going to school. He grabbed the pack and followed   
Akane out the door.  
"Where's Nabiki?" Ranma inquired.  
"She's already gone ahead. She has things to do before we get   
there. Extracurricular or something." Akane explained hazily.  
Ranma shrugged and they began walking.  
About a block away, Akane spoke up, "So, Ranma. Your father and   
mine both have advanced training levels. How far along do you think   
you are?"  
"Well, he said he's got a few techniques he's sealed away... too   
dangerous to be used, 'cept in an extreme emergency. 'sides that, I   
figure I'm pretty much just keepin' the old lardbucket in shape more   
than learnin' anythin'." Ranma responded.  
"Hmm, well, I just started on the advanced levels. I know I'm   
probably not going to get up to your level any time soon..." Akane   
began.  
"Hey, now. You're a lot better than what I woulda figured coming   
from a dojo'n'all." Ranma answered.  
"You really think?" Akane inquired.  
"Yeah, you got real potential. I can tell you've been stuck in   
mostly power-based Earth or Fire style, but other than that, you could   
be a good sparrin' partner in about a month'r so." Ranma complimented   
her.  
"Thanks, Ranma. That means a lot to me." Akane told him, smiling   
a bit.  
Ranma felt a faint blush rise to his cheeks, "T'weren't nuthin'."  
Akane began chuckling at how silly Ranma sounded using   
"t'weren't". The mental image of Ranma in overalls with a stalk of   
wheat in his mouth spitting tobacco into a can, saying things like   
"Howdy", "Y'all come back now, y'hear?" and "I'll fix ya up a MESS of   
vittles!" hopped to her forebrain and refused to leave for a few   
seconds.  
"So, what did you do in China besides Jusenkyo?" Akane inquired.  
"Uh... well.... a lot of things. Most of it had to do with   
fighting." Ranma responded.  
"Hmmm, you'll have to tell me about it sometime. Hey, Ranma?"   
Akane asked, using a more serious tone.  
"What?" Ranma replied.  
"When we get to school, there's going to be a lot of boys there.   
They've got it into their heads that if they can beat me that I'll date   
them." Akane began.  
"But you don't?" Ranma inquired.  
"No, but I haven't lost even once, so it's a moot point. I just   
felt I should warn you about that if you decide to help out." Akane   
told him.  
Ranma nodded. They continued on in silence, but both found   
themselves liking the other's presence.  
  
Ranma arched an eyebrow at the scene and asked, "Every day?"  
Akane nodded as she snorted. Holding back was actually the   
difficult part, but even that was growing easier by the day as her   
focus increased. She doubted she would be able to break a sweat even   
if the horde were to double in number.  
Tatewaki was already on the ground, unconscious. He had been   
trying to make an impressive entrance every day for the last week, but   
the new Akane wouldn't give him even that. She always located him   
during the battle and dealt with him discreetly. The last thing she   
needed was to be five minutes closer to being late.  
"Must get annoying." Ranma commented.  
"It does. The worst thing is that if I keep fighting inferior   
opponents, my skills are going to start slipping." Akane responded as   
she and Ranma entered the school building.  
"It might. But at least you keep sharp when it comes to danger   
sense." Ranma noted.  
"Barely. I doubt these guys would actually work up the nerve to   
deal any real damage. They probably think my defense is so weak that   
they shouldn't 'break' me. Please. I've taken worse lumps on   
playground equipment than anything those dorks would ever deal to me."   
Akane huffed.  
"I think you're right. I've seen younger sumos and they were a   
lot faster and more forceful in their attacks. The ones you fought   
seemed to be doing their 'teach the younger students' level." Ranma   
agreed.  
Akane nodded.  
"See you later, Ranma." Akane told him as he headed to the   
administration office and she went to class.  
  
Akane had not expected Ranma to be in her class. Then again,   
given that he'd spent most of ten years on the road, the fact that he   
was in high school at all could have been surprising to those who   
thought less of people that travelled all their lives.  
Akane was not one of those people. Ranma was introduced and sent   
to the seat to the left and behind Akane. After that, school   
progressed fairly well.  
Until lunch time, when Akane found out that either Nabiki had   
blabbed something (something that occurred with the frequency of a   
lightning bolt hitting someone who was peeing through an electric fence   
onto an electric generator) or Nabiki had sold the information on   
Ranma, which included the thing about fiancees.  
One way or another, Tatewaki charged into their room the instant   
lunch started and roared, "RANMA SAOTOME! I SHALL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR   
ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE TENDO!"  
"TATEWAKI KUNOU!" Akane roared back almost instantly, having   
expected this sooner or later.  
Tatewaki, not used to be roared at, halted.  
Akane cleared her throat and began clarifying, "First of all,   
this is neither the time nor the place. Secondly, Ranma has an open-  
ended engagement to me, Nabiki or Kasumi and he has not chosen any of   
us. Thirdly, he did not arrange this, my father and his did, and that   
was back when they were still in training. And lastly, it doesn't   
matter if you accept the engagement, because YOU ARE NOT OF THE TENDO   
CLAN AND NEVER WILL BE UNLESS YOU MARRY KASUMI!"  
Tatewaki staggered backwards, staring at his tigress with wide-  
eyes.  
Akane continued, "You are loud, boorish, petty, vengeful, and so   
chauvinistic that you have not once taken me seriously, in either a   
potentially romantic, martial or platonic manner. You would likely   
start chasing any other girl that fit your fancy than stay true to any   
one woman, and even if I _DID_ consider you a potential romantic   
interest, your non-kendo habits and the fact that you basically tossed   
any possible affection to the rabid horde that pursues me every morning   
would no doubt drive me to reject you and everything tied to you."  
"I-i---......" Tatewaki's mind was seeking a hint of hope.  
Akane folded her arms across her chest. She knew Tatewaki _was_   
a generally nice guy, once someone got past the extravagances. Her   
memories indicated that he was capable of fulfilling his 'noble   
samurai' image on occassion. Not that she would be willing to date him   
in a million years, but he could be made to improve himself. Keeping   
that in mind, she told him seriously, "Should you ever reform your   
behavior, I may reconsider my statements, but until then, you are   
completely unacceptable to me."  
Tatewaki took a while, but he finally returned to his present   
state of mind. The rest of the class would take much longer.  
"I understand, Akane Tendo. I shall leave and strive to make   
myself a better man. Than I shall return to you." Tatewaki answered,   
exiting the classroom and heading out on a spiritual journey.  
"I hope I didn't totally devastate the poor guy. He's okay, but   
he's got too many bad habits." Akane muttered.  
"So, you think you might like him if he did change?" Ranma   
inquired.  
"No. He made too much of a bad impression for too long. But   
hopefully, Tatewaki will take those words to heart and change himself.   
Then, he'll be suitable for any other girl that he may fixate on."   
Akane replied.  
Ranma arched an eyebrow.  
"Besides, it was getting a tad too ridiculo-" Akane began.  
Then, the mob of girls, no longer in shock from Akane telling   
Tatewaki off, swarmed Akane, demanding details about if she and Ranma   
had gone a date yet, what Akane thought of him and if Akane would mind   
if Ranma took some of them out on a date.  
Ranma noted that Akane had apparently taken swimming at one point   
as she thrust a hand with one digit up. Her arm sank, then thrust her   
hand up again, with an extra digit extended. Her arm sank once more.   
Ranma sighed. Time to save his potential fiancee from 'drowning' in   
the sea of girls.  
  
Akane stretched as she headed to the bath. A nice workout   
between her father's advanced training and Ranma's training had caused   
some of her muscles to jump straight to aching and sore. She needed a   
nice soak in the tub, dinner, then bed.  
She entered, washed herself well and had just stepped into the   
tub when she finally noticed Ranma sitting in the tub with her. She   
hadn't noticed that he was already in the tub when she'd entered.  
"Hi... guess you didn't notice the sign." Ranma began.  
Akane blushed a bit, "Sorry. I should have looked. I was too   
busy focusing on getting clean."  
Ranma was doing his best to cover himself while looking away.  
"Okay, come on, Ranma. It's not like you haven't seen a naked   
girl before." Akane chided him.  
"You seen a naked guy before?" Ranma inquired.  
Akane didn't want to have to explain that the original Akane had   
never looked at anyone's groin on purpose, but that new Akane knew all   
about the male genitalia. So, she lied.  
"Yuka's got quite the collection of Yaoi Doujinshi." Akane   
responded.  
"What's 'Yaoi' mean?" Ranma asked, his eyes wide with innocent   
curiosity.  
"If you don't know, you probably don't want to. I've seen enough   
that I'm pretty much desensitized to it." Akane told him, not about to   
shock the poor boy a day after he first arrived.  
"Oh." Ranma answered, then slowly brought his arms up from his   
hard member to rest on the rim of the bath in a manner similar to   
Akane.  
Akane spoke up, "Hey, Ranma? Can I ask a question?"  
Ranma nodded.  
"Did you make any friends on your training trip?" Akane inquired.  
"Yeah, why d'ya wanna know?" Ranma shot back, in a curious tone.  
"Well, since you're going to be staying here for a while, I   
figured you could take this opportunity to send letters out to your   
friends." Akane replied.  
"I don't remember too many friends... wait! I can write my   
buddy, Ucchan. He lived down in Kyoto. Then there was Haruka, she was   
a buddy of mine..." Ranma said, papping a hand into his other.  
"'Ucchan'? How'd you meet him?" Akane asked.  
"Well, we were kinda poor, so pops made me steal from his cart.   
His dad didn't seem to mind much. I think he thought it was good   
training for Ucchan. Anyway, Ucchan's the only friend I can remember   
that I used to play with outside of school or training and I knew him   
the longest. We spent close to a year down there, which was longer   
than most of the other places we stayed." Ranma answered.  
"You sure he still lives down there?" Akane inquired.  
Ranma faltered.  
"We can have Nabiki check on it. She can get info on a lot of   
things. And she can probably find Haruka for you as well." Akane   
announced.  
"Really? Thanks, Akane." Ranma said.  
Akane smiled in return. And Ranma blushed again.  
  
Ranma caressed her silky hips. Akane looked at him with   
apprehension as Ranma positioned his member at her entrance. Easing   
himself into her, Ranma felt himself release instantly.  
Ranma burst awake.  
He wasn't completely stupid when it came to things relating to   
sex, but he'd never had a wet dream that was so intense. His rigid   
member was still releasing his fluid into the fabric of his boxers.  
Ranma blushed. He'd barely known Akane for more than a day and   
he already had one of the most intense orgasms he'd ever experienced   
just thinking about making love to her.  
He knew what sex was about. Back in Junior High, he'd hung out   
at a buddy's house and he'd seen Urutsukidoji back to back with Angel   
of Darkness and Demon Beast Invasion. Despite the trauma and   
declaration that he'd never watch anime again (at least until he saw   
how tame Sailor Moon and Tenchi Muyou! were), Ranma had wondered what   
it would have been like to be on the receiving end of those horrible   
slimy tentacles.  
Which was why when he'd acquired his curse, he'd spent as many   
days fully awake as he could with a club in his hand, just in case evil   
demons possessed his father or the Jusenkyou Guide.  
Regardless, he knew about sex. It may have not been the worst   
possible introduction to the world of sexuality (though it was   
certainly in the top ten), but he knew.  
To keep himself from growing tentacles or anything weird like   
that and going to hump Akane's brains out, Ranma found a glass of cold   
water and went to sleep as a girl.  
Ranma-chan felt hands on her silky hips. Looking down, she saw   
Akane as the dark-haired girl slid her body up against Ranma-chan's   
until they were face to face.  
"Why the hell is THIS happening?!" Ranma-chan demanded.  
"Because you stupidly thought Cool Devices was about giant mecha   
and La Blue Girl was a story about Shogunate Era romance." Akane   
replied.  
"Oh yeah." Ranma-chan noted to herself.  
"And shame on you for even watching Akiko." Akane said.  
"I know, but how was I supposed to know the sound effects would   
be horrible, the script atrocious and the plot was wrought with lame   
hentai cliches." Ranma-chan inquired.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) And WHY hadn't anyone else ever noticed this? Naughty fanfic   
writers.  
(2) All Japanese hate wasting food. Having to waste cooking supplies   
too? Really bad.  
(3) Rule of Standard Anime Bad Cooks #1: If it looks and smells good,   
it's painfully disgusting.  
Rule of Standard Anime Bad Cooks #2: If it looks bad, but smells   
good, it causes stomach cramps that could take down a berserk rhino   
hopped up on cocaine.  
Rule of Standard Anime Bad Cooks #3: If it looks and smells bad,   
it's only really nasty to taste and leaves an unnatural oily taste in   
your mouth for two weeks.  
  
Chapter 1, Complete  
  
An Akane who's not insensitive or hammer-friendly? Ranma's seen   
Urutsukidoji? Tatewaki leaving on a spiritual quest? What more   
weirdness can hop into their lives?  
And if that much has changed, what else has?  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
Ryoga Hibiki and Shampoo appear!  
Kodachi Kunou's new fear!  
Mikado Sanzenin's new move!  
Burning vengence!  
The one worse than Happosai! 


	2. Martial Mayhem

With the steady improvement of her skills, Akane was quickly   
reaching the point where she'd be a decent sparring session. Ranma   
knew this because Akane was already getting the odd strike in. Nothing   
powerful, but it was enough that Ranma had to acknowledge the blow.   
And Ranma wasn't dodging as cleanly anymore. Akane's strikes were much   
faster, to the point that Ranma had to be a girl to give Akane a   
smaller and faster target.  
"Not bad. I think in another week, you'll be sparring with me   
and pops." Ranma-chan complimented Akane.  
Akane acknowledged the compliment, but knew that it was an effort   
at distracting her. Akane also knew that were she to lower her guard,   
Ranma would do something strange. He'd been acting bizarrely since   
that first day.  
"Well, probably not pops. He's kinda stupid in his way of   
thinkin'. He believes women are weaker than men. Yeah, let's see him   
say that to Elder Cologne's face." Ranma-chan commented idly.  
"Elder who?" Akane inquired, nicking Ranma-chan with a spinning   
double kick.  
"Cologne. She's a kooky old lady. When we go to China, I'll   
introduce you." Ranma-chan answered.  
"How'd you meet her? And why do you call her 'elder'?" Akane   
asked, pausing.  
Akane regretted that instantly. She hit the far wall of the   
dojo.  
"Ooops! Sorry Akane! I forgot to hold back..." Ranma-chan   
apologized.  
"...S'okay... I gotta learn how to take a few full power lumps   
or I won't be able to handle sparring with you or your father." Akane   
replied.  
That didn't seem to ease Ranma-chan's apprehension.  
  
Soun looked at the scroll. It was sad to say, but he had not   
managed to create very many special techniques. He regretted not   
searching more deeply for techniques as he was beginning to rediscover   
the joy of training Akane. With her new chipper attitude, she rarely   
frowned or got angry anymore, especially with the 'Morning Horde'   
slowly evaporating in size.  
Apparently, with Tatewaki no longer stoking the flames of   
perseverence, the easily duped were leaving while the die-hard fans   
remained, but even they were losing strength to continue as word that   
Akane hated pushy boys got around.  
The sudden change was definitely for the better, Soun Tendo   
decided. His little girl was finally growing into a rather beautiful   
young woman, just like her mother had been. Soun stifled his tears.   
He shouldn't waste time crying. He'd found a new purpose in life. To   
develop more techniques worthy of being taught to Akane.  
Soun Tendo stood and headed to the dojo. It was time to   
rediscover the warrior in his heart and ascend in the martial arts.  
  
Genma was confused. While those who hated him would say he was   
always confused in one way or another, this time he was openly showing   
his confusion rather than hiding it behind a mask of blind ignorance or   
stupid confidence.  
Genma knew many things. One of which was that he and his son had   
both been gifted with a certain natural charm that made women swoon.   
Well, he'd possessed it in his youth and it had faded when he grew   
older. But, if he tried, he might still be able to 'slay' a few women.  
His son was taking a serious interest in Akane. That was beyond   
excellent in Genma's mind. However, Genma was seeing an apprehension   
in the boy's eyes. Apprehension was one thing Ranma never showed   
before.  
"What's bothering you, son?" Genma inquired.  
"Well, I was kinda wondering if you... hadanytipsonaskinggirlson   
dates." Ranma half-blurted, half-mumbled.  
Recognition hit Genma. He'd never really gotten around to 'that   
talk' with Ranma. It was partially to keep Ranma from becoming too   
interested in girls before they reached the Tendos, but it was mostly   
because the school system had already taught the boy what he needed to   
know for the 'after hours'.  
After the intense trauma of turning into a girl, (Genma could   
still feel some of the bruises when he'd made the foolish mistake of   
trying to wake Ranma-chan when she had that damn club in her hands)   
he'd feared the boy's curse would weird Ranma out until the day he   
died, preventing him from even thinking of consumating marriage with   
Tendo's daughters.  
While he may be too late to introduce the boy to sex like he had   
been (being given an overly perverse set of manga by a friend), he   
wasn't too late to give the boy the finer tips on dating. Genma   
reached into his gi and removed the scroll he'd made for this day.  
"Read this, my boy, and you'll have her crawling on her hands and   
knees, begging for your attention." Genma told his son.  
Ranma took the scroll and smiled, "Thanks, pops."  
"Don't mention it." Genma said, beaming with pride.  
Ranma didn't waste much time looking over the scroll, memorizing   
it's tips and secrets as best as he could. Then, he looked at the   
manga, "Maison Ikkoku". Glancing back and forth, he noted disturbing   
similarities. No, he wouldn't make that mistake. Or that one. He   
might have made that one without a little help, but not anymore.  
Finally prepared, Ranma rolled up the scroll and put both of them   
into his pack. Time to put his newfound knowledge to use.  
  
"Hey, Akane, I just heard this really funny joke. It goes like   
this: Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducked." Ranma said.  
Akane snickered, "That was _bad_, Ranma."  
Ranma chuckled along with her, then tried to go for the next   
pitch, "A buddhist walks up to a okonomiyaki vendor and says, 'Make me   
one with everything.'"  
Akane laughed a little more, "I was wrong, THAT was _BAD_."  
Hearing her laugh harder, he decided to go for it, "If it was so   
bad, then I guess you'll have to teach me better ones. How about-"  
Ranma's offer for a date was interupted when he saw a certain   
young man with short black hair, a tiger-stripped bandanna, a yellow   
sweater and black silk pants. On his back was a massive backpack with   
a red umbrella on top.  
"YOU!" Ranma shouted.  
The boy looked over at Ranma, "Oh, hey Saotome."  
"'Oh, hey Saotome'?! That's all you can say?! RYOUGA HIBIKI,   
PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ranma roared, charging.  
Ryouga Hibiki blinked as a brief feeling of Vuja De (1) hit him   
before he leapt out of the way of Ranma's initial attack. He landed on   
the cement wall surrounding Furinkan High School. Ranma followed him   
onto the wall.  
"What are YOU so pissed off about?" Ryouga inquired.  
"Because of you, I've seen HELL! I won't rest until you lay   
beaten on the ground!" Ranma cried, lunging again.  
Akane arched an eyebrow. Just what had Ryouga done to make Ranma   
so mad?  
"Righteous Fist!" Ryouga yelled.  
Akane blinked in surprise as Ryouga's right hand began glowing   
with a bluish aura. However, it faded halfway to Ranma and the Saotome   
managed to dodge it completely while roundhouse kicking the Hibiki boy   
off the wall.  
Akane hopped onto the wall, "What in the world did he do to tick   
you off so much, Ranma?"  
Ranma glanced at Akane, blushed, then returned his focus on   
Ryouga, "I don't wanna talk about it in public. I'll tell you later."  
Ryouga was already back on his feet and had ditched his backpack   
next to the wall, "Ow! Why didn't the Righteous Fist wor..."  
Ryouga's ruminations were cut off as he noticed Akane on the   
wall. The boy began trying to peek up her skirt in a not-so-discreet   
manner. A descending elbow to the face from Ranma stopped that attempt   
cold. Akane noticed people could see up her skirt and hopped down on   
the far side, where no one else was present, save for Ranma and the   
dazed Ryouga.  
"Jeez, why are _you_ so mad for, Ranma? After all I've done for   
you, too." Ryouga began.  
"That's exactly why I hate you!" Ranma growled.  
Ryouga thought about it for a few seconds, then came to a   
realization, "Say.... you didn't go to Jusenkyou, did you?"  
Ranma faltered, "How do you know about..."  
Ryouga grinned, "'cause I went there and found me a blessing in   
disguise."  
Ranma GLARED at the boy, "You didn't."  
Ryouga grinned wider, "But I did."  
Ranma snorted in disgust, "Now that I know that, I don't want   
anything to do with you."  
"Fine." Ryouga huffed, before walking over to Akane, "Hey, hows   
about you and me find some bushes and play 'hide the snake'?" Ryouga   
waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Akane smiled politely.  
The next thing Ryouga knew he was doubled over, clutching his   
stomach.  
"Pervert." Akane 'feh'ed, before telling Ranma, "I'm heading   
home. If he tries to follow me, kick his ass."  
"Oooh, tough love. I think I like 'er." Ryouga commented.  
Ranma punted Ryouga Hibiki and his backpack into LEO.  
"Jerk." Ranma growled.  
Seeing that Akane was probably _not_ in the mood for a date,   
Ranma sighed and turned to find something to eat downtown just as a   
rain storm passed over. Ranma groaned as the rain came down.  
  
When it came to food, Ranma Saotome wasn't picky. He loved all   
sorts of food so long as it tasted good. Mostly because, thanks to his   
father, he'd had to stomach just about every possible consumeable   
available.  
Indeed, Genma Saotome was a genius from time to time, even though   
many claimed that it was against his entire existance to be clever.   
There were many times when chefs would try experimenting with food of   
different nations, and rather than subject unwilling customers to bad   
food, hired professional food tasters. In those times, Genma and Ranma   
Saotome (who, thanks to Genma, had managed to create quite the   
reputation when it came to cooking) bravely let their mouths and   
bellies feel the agony of failure or the warm and delicious flavor of   
victory.  
Takoyaki intermixed with pork buns were his favorite snack foods,   
though.  
That was why Ranma-chan was heading home, munching away at pork   
buns and takoyaki. That was, until she saw a girl standing in a vacant   
lot with three guys wearing bandages all over and carrying gymnastic   
pins. Pausing at the bizarre sight, Ranma-chan paused.  
"So, you haven't learned your lesson." the girl stated. She   
stood about Nabiki's height with a ponytail tied to the left side of   
her head and a flower on the right side. She wore a standard school   
uniform, but it wasn't Furinkan High's.  
"We won't stop until we pay you back!" came the angry yet muffled   
response.  
The girl pulled out what looked like a gymnastics ribbon and   
began snapping it at the men, knocking them backwards onto their sides   
and causing them to drop their weapons. The ribbon cracked across   
their bodies like a whip, sending them to the ground, whimpering.  
Just as the girl was prepared to launch another attack with the   
ribbon, Ranma-chan decided to interfere. It was one thing to defend   
oneself, but it was quite another to bully the weak.  
Grabbing the ribbon, Ranma-chan turned to the the girl, "You've   
already won. You shouldn't bully the weak."  
The girl's reaction was a bit different, "You caught my ribbon.   
I'm impressed... that has never been done before."  
The girl's foot caught on a fallen club and kicked it up to the   
girl's hand. She lunged, seeking Ranma-chan's head and missing as   
Ranma-chan ducked and performed a spinning sweep kick which the girl   
leapt over. Landing on the far side of Ranma-chan, the mystery girl   
reevaluated the redhead as Ranma-chan turned to face her.  
"Not bad. My name is Kodachi the Black Rose. Remember that."   
the girl said, tossing Ranma-chan a black rose.  
With that, Kodachi leapt up and away. Ranma-chan sighed. There   
was something about her that attracted weirdos.  
Just then, the three guys who had attacked Kodachi began crying.  
"Hey, don't cry. You're men, after all, right?" Ranma-chan   
inquired.  
"That's what you think! We're the Furinkan High Girl's   
Gymnastics team!" the leader cried, tearing off the bandages on her   
face.  
Ranma-chan blinked as she realized the girls in front of her were   
from her class.  
  
Akane was halfway home when she remembered that Kasumi had asked   
her to buy eggs. She stopped at the grocery store to buy a dozen and   
was just exiting the store when a pink blur knocked her over.  
"HEY!" Akane shouted angrily as she lost balance only to fall   
into the arms of a young man.  
Akane looked at him. He was fairly handsome with brown hair that   
had been styled and frozen in place because of a lot of hair spray.  
"I was just walking along and an angel fell into my arms. How   
fortunate. May I know your name, sweet angel?" the boy said with an   
inflection that spoke volumes of 'smooth'. Indeed, the average   
heterosexual girl with little experience with dashing and/or handsome   
boys would have melted in his arms, but Akane was neither average nor   
heterosexual. In fact, she knew this boy's type rather well.  
Akane glared at him flatly, "Hanako Dokusoi."(2)  
"Beautiful, just like you. My humble name is Mikado Sanzenin."  
"Thanks for the save, but I've got to get going."  
"Surely, such a deed as saving your life requires a kiss...."   
Mikado suggested.  
"Sure, close your eyes." Akane told him.  
He did so. She set down the grocery bag with eggs, grabbed a   
nearby alley cat and stuffed the angry animal into Mikado's face.  
"RAAAAAAAWR!" the cat yowled before glomping on Mikado's face.  
"Oh dear, that vicious alley cat came out of nowhere. Well. I   
guess I shall have to put that kiss on raincheck." Akane deadpanned as   
Mikado's screams of pain were muffled by the cat, who's claws had sunk   
into the boy's head.  
Akane picked up her groceries and headed for home.  
  
Ranma-chan paused as she began opening the door, as she got a   
feeling... one she'd not felt since-  
"SHAMPOO IS SO HAPPY!"  
A purple-haired chinese girl wearing a gold-embroidered pink   
shirt and purple silk pants lept at the young Saotome. *GLOMP*  
Ranma-chan staggered a bit as she found herself in a typical   
Flying Amazon Friendship Hug, which was followed by the not-so-typical   
Amazon Friendship Kiss.  
"Sh-shampoo... nice to see you again." Ranma-chan replied, her   
response a bit forced as Shampoo was nearly crushing the air out of   
her, but also because she didn't recall being close enough to Shampoo   
to warrant the Friendship Kiss.  
"It's nice to see you again too, Friend Ranma." Shampoo said,   
smiling brightly.  
"So, Ranma, finished having your teeth checked by your _very_   
friendly dentist?" Akane teased as she walked past the two girls.  
"Shampoo was just giving Friend Ranma the Amazon Friendship   
Kiss." Shampoo told Akane in a haughty tone as she let the redhead   
down.  
"Hey, chill. I was just teasing." Akane said defensively,   
raising her hands as a sign of peace or at the very least, in hopes of   
stating "I don't want or need a fight at the moment."  
"Akane, this is Shampoo. Shampoo, this is Akane Tendo, one of   
the girls Pops hopes to engage me to." Ranma-chan said, introducing the   
two girls.  
"Hopes to engage?" Shampoo inquired.  
"Japanese families sometimes arrange marriages in advance in   
hopes of either improving their social standing or ensuring a decent   
candidate. As such, things cannot be finalized until both families are   
in agreement. We're just finding out if Ranma is compatible with us   
before the engagement is finalized." Akane explained.  
Shampoo nodded in understanding. It was similar to the Amazon   
Rite of First Pick. Every generation, each caste would have a   
challenge and the winner's children would be allowed to choose a   
potential husband or wife material before all others. After all, the   
strongest and best were more often in danger, thus such privileges were   
only fitting. There was also a startling similarity to the Amazon Rite   
of First Wife in cases of polygamy.  
"So, why are you here, Shampoo?" Ranma-chan inquired.  
"Shampoo has come with Elder Cologne. She wanted to see if   
Friend Ranma wanted to become Husband-Wife to Shampoo. Barring that,   
Elder Cologne wanted to see if Ranma wanted to start the special Amazon   
Warrior training as offered." Shampoo responded.  
"Amazon Warrior Training?" Akane inquired, intrigued by the idea   
of becoming an Amazon like Ranma had apparently done.  
"Indeed." came a voice from behind Akane.  
Akane yelped and spun to find... nothing. Sighing, she tilted   
her head enough to force the very light form off of her head. The   
figure hopped down in front of Akane, who arched an eyebrow, "I take it   
that you're Elder Cologne."  
The woman was about four feet tall with long silvery white hair.   
She looked very much like Shampoo with signs of being in her late   
sixties at the very least. She wore a long green robe with exotic red   
patterns sewn into it. She held a long staff made from a tree branch.  
"Yes I am, young lady. I'm actually named after another Cologne,   
but she passed on a year ago." the very mature woman explained, before   
smiling, "I'm impressed that you knew I was on top of your head."  
"Your staff is heavier than you think, Elder." Akane responded   
politely.  
"Ho ho ho ho!" Elder Cologne laughed, "I think you're hiding   
something, but since you are such a polite girl, I won't press you   
about it just yet."  
"Elder Cologne, I didn't think you'd come to Japan." Ranma-chan   
commented.  
"I figured your father would tangle you up in something just to   
make sure I didn't train you. His arrogance about women is beyond   
stupidity itself, but at least he's not a thief or a pervert." Cologne   
explained.  
"Yeah. One good thing about traveling with pops is that he knows   
better ways to get meals than by stealing." Ranma-chan commented.  
"Really?" Akane inquired.  
"Pops figured out that there's a surplus of chefs who like to   
experiment with foreign cuisine, but don't want to subject customers to   
it. We got free meals and money by being food tasters. Fairly good   
work, but it can get pretty tiring tasting the same thing over and over   
until they think it's right." Ranma-chan explained.  
"Hmmm..." Akane replied.  
"Akane, you've got some visitors..." Kasumi called from inside   
the house.  
"All right." Akane responded, before turning back to the   
visitors, "It was nice meeting you, Shampoo, and you as well, Elder   
Cologne."  
With that, Akane hurried inside with the groceries.  
"A very spirited young lass. She might be worth consideration."   
Cologne noted.  
"You is serious, Grandmother?" Shampoo inquired.  
"Very much so. Her martial potential is almost as high as yours,   
Ranma." Cologne noted.  
Shampoo blinked in surprise. Ranma had a potential that exceeded   
even her own and if this 'Akane' was almost as high... that meant the   
tribe could deal with the Musk more equally, rather than having to back   
down every so often to keep a war from erupting.  
  
Akane sighed as she looked at her fellow classmates.  
"So, this Kodachi the Black Rose has been attacking you all   
before the match?" Akane inquired.  
Kimiko, the gymnastics team leader, nodded, "Please, Akane!   
You're the best person we could think of! If we don't win this, it'll   
be the twentieth times Saint Hebereke's team will win because of   
forfeit this year!"  
"I suppose if I know all the rules, I can try..." Akane   
suggested. In truth, while Ranma was helping with her acrobatic   
skills, she wasn't entirely confident that she could beat a trained   
gymnast in her own element.  
  
"No kidding? You managed to find both of 'em?" Ranma inquired.  
"It wasn't difficult to find Ten'ou-san. She's currently living   
in Tokyo, Juuban District. I found an Ukyou Kuonji, but I should tell   
you that Kuonji is registered as female." Nabiki warned.  
"That's probably Ucchan then. I was only a kid and Ucchan was   
always wearing a chef outfit. Back then, I thought girls only wore   
skirts and stuff." Ranma noted.  
Nabiki arched an eyebrow.  
"Hey, I was a five at the time, fer cryin' out loud. It made   
sense at the time. It was that or do a 'Pat Pat'.(3)" Ranma protested.  
"Anyway, here are their addresses if you wanted to write to them.   
I think that you should include our phone number so that they can   
contact us if they're the wrong people. No sense sending letter after   
letter to someone if they aren't the right one." Nabiki told him."Right. Thanks, Nabiki." Ranma said, smiling.  
"It's okay." Nabiki responded, "It was a favor to Akane, anyway."  
  
"You seem troubled, child." Cologne commented as she entered the   
dojo to see Akane in the process of training in a somewhat strange   
manner.  
Akane glanced back at the Elder Amazon, "I guess it's just   
that... I don't like using weapons. Or rather, I hate using such   
flimsy weapons." Akane said, motioning to the 'arsenal' the gymnastics   
team had left her. A ball, a length of cord, a ribbon, six sets of   
clubs, and a hoop.  
"Well, now, it would seem you simply don't have enough trust.   
Even as feeble as these may seem, a chi-enhancement technique could   
make these as hard as steel." Cologne explained.  
"Don't you mean 'ki'?" Akane inquired.  
"Japanese call it 'Ki', Chinese call it 'Chi', the Koreans know   
it as Qi and some places just call it 'life force'. You say 'Potato',   
I say 'Potahtoe'. It doesn't really matter what you call it. It is   
the concept you must grasp." Cologne answered.  
"I understand the concept of using ki to enhance my own body, but   
how do I harden something else?" Akane asked.  
"Take this cord." Cologne said, handing Akane the cord,   
"Visualize it becoming as stiff as a board and as hard as steel, then   
allow some of your energy to flow into it while keeping that   
visualization."  
Akane looked at Cologne doubtfully, then sighed. It was either   
try the technique or lose in one week. She focused on the image of the   
cord becoming like an iron pole and slowly began channelling the energy   
into the cord.  
Cologne smiled knowingly as the cord flexed a few times with   
uncertainty, then snapped out like a cobra into the shape of a staff.   
Akane hadn't put in nearly enough to make the cord like steel, but it   
was hard like an oak staff.  
"See, it isn't quite so hard." Cologne said as Akane opened her   
eyes and stared in a gleeful awe that she had performed the technique   
Cologne had suggested.  
"Wow! You were right! Thanks, Elder. This will make my fight   
much easier." Akane laughed giddily, as she bowed to the elder.  
Cologne sighed in contentment. Her mother had been right. There   
was something magical about teaching students. Seeing the happy looks   
on their faces as they conquered another hurdle.  
Yes, Akane could definitely be included in the amazon training   
that Ranma would undergo soon. But for now, she and Shampoo were   
simply visitors. At least until Shampoo had gotten as far with her   
lingual skills as she could.  
  
Ranma was enjoying a quiet night. Shampoo was helping Kasumi   
clean up after dinner while Genma and Soun played another round of Go.   
Nabiki was upstairs studying. Cologne was watching Akane train for the   
fight with that Black Rose girl.  
Peace and quiet. It felt nice. Ranma had come to enjoy the   
simple things. Like the sound of Akane's laugh. The sight of sweat   
glistening off of Akane's skin. Seeing that determined look in Akane's   
eyes...  
"Hey ya, Ranma."  
Ranma knew that Ryouga would be back. He had a tendency to show   
up and turn any mood sour. Which was impressive if one's mood was   
already bad.  
"Ryouga." Ranma said, saying the word as one would refer to an   
obvious flaming bag filled with moist bulldung.  
"So, that's yer girlfriend, huh? I was wondering why ya seemed   
so protective. You lucky dog! Have ya done with her yet? How was   
she?" Ryouga grinned lecherously.  
"I'm warning you, Ryouga. I'm not going to put up with you doing   
to Akane what you did to poor Haruka." Ranma growled.  
"Ten'ou liked it. Besides, she's lucky any guy would even think   
of doing 'er with that hardass attitude of 'ers." Ryouga replied   
lazily.  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. Genma looked over and saw Ryouga. Soun   
watched as Genma's eyes hardened and glanced at the stranger.  
"Who's that, Saotome?" Soun inquired.  
"Ryouga Hibiki, an evil and lecherous boy from a cursed family.   
We'd best go check on the girls, Tendo. With that boy around, I don't   
want any female unguarded. I dare say his habits are worse than the   
master's, even if he has barely a fraction of the skill." Genma said.  
Soun had seen his friend that serious before and he didn't want   
to risk being wrong a second time, "I'll go check on Nabiki, then   
Akane. You go make sure Kasumi and Shampoo are all right."  
"Don't worry so much about Akane. Cologne's with her. She's not   
nearly as powerful as the master, but I know she can take Ryouga if   
need be." Genma replied.  
Soun nodded as Ranma lunged at Ryouga, battle aura flaring.  
  
Akane groaned as she entered her room. She'd spent the last few   
hours perfecting her enhancing techniques on each of the weapons.   
Using her ki so much was very exhuasting. She was sure, though, that   
she would get enough endurance in time for the match that she could   
trounce Kodachi.  
That reminded her...  
[If I were a sneaky high-class cheat, I'd wait until my opponent   
had exhuasted herself training on the first day, then attack her in her   
room, probably by dropping from the ceiling and braining her with a   
mallet.] Akane thought to herself.  
"AKANE TENDO, PREPARE TO DIE!" Kodachi the Black Rose cried as   
she descended like a hawk upon a rabbit, if said hawk had an enormous   
wooden mallet and was prone to calling out death threats.(4)  
Akane's hand snapped up and caught the heavy wooden mallet aimed   
at her head. The mallet's holder was surprised and very impressed.   
Even though Kodachi the Black Rose didn't weigh much, gravity and the   
mallet's weight should have allowed her a heavy blow. At the very   
least, the girl's arm should have twitched when she caught the mallet.   
Kodachi found herself hanging in mid-air while Akane held her mallet   
perfectly still. Kodachi allowed her arm muscles to loosen enough that   
she landed.  
Akane yanked the weapon out of Kodachi's hand before Kodachi   
could think about pulling it away and glared at the black-haired   
gymnast, "So, you're Kodachi the Black Rose. I've heard some   
unpleasant things about you. I'm sure you would like to stay and   
'play', but I'm afraid we don't allow visitors past eight."  
A foot raised and struck Kodachi before the gymnast could react.   
Kodachi found herself flying out of the same window she'd snuck in   
through. Unconscious, though.  
"Eep! I think I hit her too hard..." Akane said. She estimated   
Kodachi's landing point and yelped as she turned and hurried   
downstairs. She might not like Kodachi, but she wasn't going to let   
the gymnast drown to death.  
  
"RIGHTEOUS FIST!" Ryouga cried, thrusting a fist forward. Ranma   
dodged the uncharged hand.  
"Why doesn't that work?" Ryouga wondered aloud, before recalling   
why. He wasn't righteous.(5) It tended to slip his mind.(6)  
*BOOT*  
Ranma sighed as Ryouga Hibiki was once again sent spiraling away.   
He didn't want to kill Ryouga. No, that honor was left to Haruka, the   
girl he'd traumatized. The last he'd heard, Haruka was certain she   
could extract revenge on Ryouga. He'd gauged both Ryouga's current   
skill with Haruka's skill over a year ago. If the Ten'ou girl had kept   
up her martial training, she could easily trounce Ryouga.  
Then, Ranma heard someone hit the pond. It was a girl. He   
quickly leapt into the pond and pulled the girl out. Akane practically   
leapt out of the house to Ranma-chan's side.  
"Is she okay?" Ranma-chan asked.  
"No, I think she's not breathing! I think she might have water   
in her lungs! We have to do mouth-to-mouth!" Akane responded.  
"I..uh.." Ranma-chan began, "I don't know how."  
"That's okay, I do..." Akane responded.  
  
Someone's lips were pressed against hers, then slid their tongue   
inside, exploring Kodachi's mouth. After that, Kodachi felt air fill   
her lungs before she coughed. Someone turned her head so she could   
spit up, then she felt someone press on her torso a few times, before   
the lips pressed against hers again and explored it once more. Air   
filled her lungs again. Kodachi sputtered awake to see her rescuers.  
"Kodachi-san, I'm glad you're all right. I didn't mean to hit   
you so hard." Akane Tendo apologized.  
"Were you the one to-" Kodachi began.  
"Ranma here gave you mouth-to-mouth." Akane said, gesturing to   
Ranma-chan.  
Kodachi looked at Ranma-chan and backed away slowly, staring   
nervously the busty redhead. Glancing back to Akane, Kodachi found her   
voice, "I thank you for saving my life. I'll find some way to reward   
you both... eventually..."  
Kodachi staggered to her feet with assistance from Akane and left   
via the front door as she was far too weak to leap away in her   
customary style.  
"Why do you think she gave me that strange look?" Ranma-chan   
inquired.  
"I haven't the foggiest idea." Akane responded.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) Vuja De: The sensation that something is occurring that has never   
happened before. Immortals often desire this experience.  
(2) Dokusoi is the sound Sumo Wrestlers make. This is a reference to   
Excel Saga.  
(3) This is a reference to Dragon Ball. Young Goku couldn't tell men   
from women, so he patted their groin. If their groin was 'lumpy', they   
were boys. If their groin was flat, they were girls.  
(4) Which, as we all know, can only be found in Detroit.  
(5) The Righteous Fist doesn't require one to be 'Righteous' per se,   
but one does need to have to be doing something noble or be pure of   
heart. This Ryouga Hibiki is neither.  
(6) Like how often he bathed and why girls didn't like his pick up   
lines.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
Kodachi versus Akane!  
Haruka Ten'ou and Ukyou Kuonji get letters!  
Ryouga Hibiki remains an evil bastard!  
Amazon training!  
And Soun develops a new technique! 


	3. Akane vs Kodachi

Kodachi Kuno was doing something new. She was meditating.   
Though her brother was often doing it, even moreso nowadays, she   
herself had not done it. She was a scientist and a gymnast. Such   
things incalculable as love were like the daydream technology seen in   
Science Fiction movies. However, her science and skill could not find   
the answer, while her brother had experienced love.  
Thus she'd asked for him to teach her meditation techniques.   
Tatewaki had expressed approval over her wanting to learn how. His   
focus was true now and he saw that he had merely lusted after Akane,   
foolishly believing it true love. She needed to find a way to get her   
mind off the fact that the red-haired girl who had awoken her the other   
night was the same who had caught her ribbon.  
Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose of Saint Hebereke High, was trying   
to decipher whether or not the feeling that arose whenever the   
redhead's face popped up in her mind was that of revulsion, hate,   
acceptance or love. She was hoping for revulsion and hate.  
"What troubles you, dear sister, that you cannot meditate?"   
Tatewaki inquired. The manner in which he had instructed Kodachi had   
been for the beginner in meditation, yet her sister seemed unable to   
reach the state necessary even for the first step.  
"Brother, how do you know if you love someone?" Kodachi asked   
hesitantly.  
"I do not." Tatewaki responded, taking time to glance in her   
direction. So his sister believed she may have found love. That was   
interesting.  
"But you love that Akane girl..." Kodachi began.  
Tatewaki sighed, "In truth, dear sister, the path to love is   
rarely true. What you may see as something you desire will reveal that   
it is, in fact, not what you desire at all. Akane Tendo, while a good   
person at heart, was an obstacle in my river that I had to but pass.   
Yet, like a branch on a rock, I became hung up on her. Were it not for   
her savage yet true words, I would have spent many a misspent day   
longing for her."  
Kodachi sighed in relief. Then that meant this was simply   
something she was hung up on-  
Tatewaki interupted her thoughts, "However, there may be a chance   
that whomever you speak of is indeed your love true. After all, not   
all streams and rivers have to be long in order to remain as they are.   
You must seek your true self, lest you be mistaken."  
Kodachi didn't immediately panic. While she was no closer to the   
answer she sought, she did have a method for finding that answer. Her   
brother had given her a formula by which to find the answer, now all   
she had to do was take all the factors and run the equation.  
The problem was finding out all the factors. Finding out if X +   
Z equaled Love would be a whole lot easier if she knew what X and Z   
were.  
  
"FINALLY!" came a cry of evil glee.  
Michiru Kaioh gazed at her partner with an concerned look. The   
smile on the shorter-haired woman seemed to SEETHE with repressed   
anger. Finally, the wavy-haired violinist spoke up, "Something the   
matter, Haruka-chan?"  
The athletic blonde turned to Michiru, "Ranma found Ryouga."  
"Ryouga..." The aqua-haired woman puzzled over the name, before a   
memory came to her, "you mean that Hibiki boy?"  
Haruka nodded. Michiru's eyes narrowed, "Where is he?"  
"He's in Nerima. And knowing him, he won't be able to leave for   
a month or so." Haruka said, with a tone of relief and glee that was   
unnatural for the moment.  
"I'm coming too, darling. We BOTH have to pay him back for what   
he did." Michiru told her.  
"I can't promise anything, but I'll try and leave a corpse for   
you to kick." Haruka replied.  
Michiru nodded and gently embraced Haruka, "Once you've gotten   
your revenge, the nightmares can finally end."  
Haruka sighed and embraced Michiru back.  
  
Akane Tendo was mentally and physically prepared for the fight.   
Nothing short of victory would satisfy her. She had no real animosity   
towards Kodachi Kuno, but when she'd heard that Kodachi had never lost   
a match due to her less-than-legal methods, it became obvious to Akane   
that Kodachi feared losing.  
Unfortunately, fear of losing was not enough to account for   
cheating in Akane's book. Were something riding on it, such as a   
person's life, freedom or all of one's possessions, then cheating was   
allowable, but none of those three things were on the line as far as   
Akane could see.  
It was time for a spoiled rich girl to discover that there was   
always someone better.  
"So, Ranma, whaaaa-y are you a girl?" Akane inquired.  
"Sprinkler system." Ranma-chan responded glumly. She'd been   
hoping to be male so she could propose a date for after the match.  
"Ah." Akane replied, figuring Ranma was simply upset at being   
female again.  
Kodachi's voice caught their attention, "You seem to be doing   
well, Akane Tendo. I do hope you'll give me a good challenge today."  
Akane arched an eyebrow, "That's funny, I was expecting something   
underhanded."  
Kodachi lowered her head, "I decided not to attack you or your   
friend as a gift for saving my life the other night."  
Kodachi turned abruptly and headed back to her changing room.   
Akane arched an eyebrow, but said nothing.  
  
In many other dimensions, Setsuna Meiou was an experienced and   
accomplished warrior of justice and the sole guardian of the Gate of   
Time on Pluto with an oblique title of 'Sailor Pluto, Guardian of the   
Gate of Time'.  
Being the so-called Senshi of Time, as her duty required her to   
be around the Gate of Time and saying 'Senshi of the Gate of Time' is   
entirely too long to say in one go, Setsuna is assumed to do naughty   
little things like peek into the future, bend the weave of time, make   
herself young and beautiful forever, master all sorts of abilities and   
skills and make sure she always looks cool.  
Not much of that applies in this world.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M SOOOOO LATE!" Setsuna cried as   
she raced out the door, a half-eaten piece of toast dangling from the   
side of her mouth.  
With practice only gained from many, many, MANY days of being   
late, Setsuna managed to pull the rest of the toast into her mouth.   
Setsuna groaned as she KNEW she _could_ use her Senshi abilities to   
simply hop into the past and hurry to school, but she was young and new   
to all of this 'Senshi' business. If it weren't for the fact that   
she'd been visited by that white talking cat with the crescent moon on   
it's forehead, she probably would have simply thought the blonde that   
it belonged to was just crazy.  
Being Sailor Pluto and the guardian of some Time thingy wasn't   
really what she wanted to think about. She was more concerned about   
the make-up English exam she had today. Of all the subjects in the   
world, she was absolutely lousy at English. The aforementioned   
language made very little sense, especially when it came to writing.   
She wasn't so bad at speaking it, but she stunk at spelling. And   
considering that she had an american as a teacher, she couldn't weasel   
by tricking the teacher.  
Setsuna hoped she got at least a 70 on her test. She could live   
with only a C- in English.  
  
The match opened. Akane felt embarrassed wearing a green   
leotard, but it was the only one she could find that covered her thighs   
and arms. It had been almost impossible to find it and it just   
happened to be the only outfit she could feel comfortable in. And it   
was a light greenish-yellow, too, the kind she'd always hated because   
it made her nauseaous.  
Kodachi's entrance was a bit grandoise with her being carried in   
on a devan sofa carried by the rest of the St. Herbereke gymnastic   
team. Some of the St. Herbereke gymnasts sprinkled black flower petals   
on the path as Kodachi stepped down from the devan and onto the red   
carpet that the lead members of the team rolled out seconds before   
Kodachi began her descent.  
Kodachi stepped elegantly into the ring, posing in her stylized   
black leotard with purple rose design, before gazing at Akane. Akane   
noticed a pained twitch on Kodachi's face, but it was well hidden.   
They approached each other as the referee motioned them from their   
corners.  
"I know, but it's the only leotard I could get." Akane explained   
in a low tone, her face still a tad flushed with embarrassment.  
"I would have gladly given you one." Kodachi responded in an   
equally low tone.  
"Too late now, Kunou-san." Akane said, before extending her hand,   
"Let's have a good match."  
Kodachi smiled honestly and shook Akane's hand, before steeling   
herself and declaring, "I won't go easy on you."  
"I wasn't expecting it." Akane replied.  
The two returned to their corners.  
"She may seem nice now, Akane, but don't let your guard down."   
Ranma-chan warned.  
"I wasn't planning to, but thanks anyway." Akane responded.  
"BEGIN!" the referee called out.  
Kodachi drew her cord and a gymnastic pin. Akane smiled as   
Ranma-chan passed her own cord and gymanstic pin up to her. Kodachi   
lashed out with her cord as Akane raised hers and focused her ki into   
the cord. Both girls were sent backwards by the sudden vibration   
caused by steel meeting something with the same strength.  
In silent but mutual agreement, both girls ditched their cords   
and attacked with their clubs. Kodachi was amazed at how strong her   
opponent was as Akane all but knocked her onto her back after a few   
exchanges left her with three broken clubs. In terms of pure strength,   
Kodachi realized she was not simply woefully underprepared, she was   
like a little girl versus a professional weight lifter.  
Akane knew how to strike with a club. It was the only weapon she   
felt even a bit comfortable with, mostly because it's use was similiar   
to a hammer. As such, it was much easier to focus her energy into   
making it hit harder.  
Kodachi wondered briefly if Akane had perhaps corked (1) her   
clubs. This train of thought was curious for Kodachi, as it was   
usually HER doing all the cheating and not her opponent. Her second   
tossed Kodachi razor hoop up to the gymnastic's champion. Kodachi   
didn't even call out the attack as she wordlessly hurled the hoop   
towards Akane.  
Akane hurled her club at the hoop, breaking it, but at the cost   
of the club. The wooden tool clattered to the ground in three pieces.   
The look on Kodachi's face was a bit confusing, but Akane wasn't about   
to get too distracted. Ranma-chan hurled her the ribbon. Akane   
groaned. The one weapon she hadn't quite mastered.  
The ribbon was something Akane hated. If not for the fact that   
she could get some basic whip-like attacks down, the ribbon was utterly   
worthless in her hands, except maybe as a replacement cord.  
Kodachi had her own ribbon out and ready for use. Yelping as she   
dodged Kodachi's fearsome snake-like ribbon, Akane brought her own   
ribbon to bear. Both girls blinked in utter astonishment as they   
managed to knock the ribbon out of the other's hand.  
"Ranma, ball!" Akane commanded, before receiving said weapon   
upside the head. Akane caught it a split-second later.  
"Sorry!" Ranma-chan called, wincing at the fact that she'd just   
beaned Akane.  
"I think it's time everyone found out how strong I am." Akane   
announced, before slamming her ball into the ring.  
The ball bounced up off the ring and down off the ceiling so fast   
that it was a solid red line that moved. Kodachi threw her own ball in   
an effort to deflect the bouncing red projectile, but the ball simply   
bounced back at her head. Kodachi bent backwards amazingly fast to   
dodge the weapon before Akane's ball struck her full in the stomach.  
To Kodachi, it felt like being struck by a two hundred pound   
sledgehammer. Her body convulsed and collapsed on it's own, her mind   
reeling from the pain that she felt. Gasping, she slowly began   
regaining her breath and hearing to hear the referee calling out the   
number five. Then six. Then seven. There was something important   
about that.  
Kodachi's mind rebooted enough that she turned over onto her   
stomach and latched a hand onto the bottom rope of the ring. She   
pulled herself up onto her knees at the count of nine and was fully   
standing before the referee could manage ten. Kodachi stumbled a bit   
as she turned, her body not having fully recovered from that strike.  
"A good fight so far, Akane." Kodachi complimented her opponent.  
"Are you okay?" Akane inquired, knowing full well that Kodachi   
was hurting herself by forcefully standing.  
"Not only am I fine, but I'm more than strong enough to put an   
end to this little game." Kodachi retorted, not feeling even half as   
confident as she sounded. She was hurting and losing badly. Her   
ribbon mastery was about all that might pull her from total defeat.   
That or serious cheating. But that would require Akane being injured   
rather horribly and that wasn't something Kodachi wanted to do.  
In truth, the only thing that was keeping her from quitting was   
her pride as a gymnast. She refused to lose to someone who'd only   
trained for one week in gymnastics, prior experience be damned.  
  
A brown-haired girl in Kyoto looked at the postcard. She arched   
an eyebrow as she noticed the return name, "Ranma Saotome. There's a   
name I haven't heard in a while..."  
"Kinda funny that you'd forget him, seeing as he was the only boy   
you swore eternal vengence on before you two wound up becoming best   
friends. A'course, I don't totally blame you, seeing as you two were   
both rather young." Her father, Akira, spoke up.  
"Eternal vengence?" Ukyou inquired, an eyebrow quirked.  
"You two would spar somethin' fierce. At first, you'd come home   
crying your eyes out and spitting curses at him. But after about a   
week, you started coming home, blathering on and on about he was the   
boy you wanted to marry." Akira responded with a smile.  
Ukyou frowned. She didn't recall anyone like that.  
"You two even had pet names for each other... you'd call him   
'Ranchan' and he'd call you 'Ucchan'. I figured that was why you   
started telling me that 'Ucchan' was going to be the name of your   
resturaunt." Akira continued.  
"'Ranchan'..." Ukyou continued, before the memory finally   
returned to her, "OH HIM! I've gotten letters from him before, but I   
guess I forgot for some reason."  
"Yer mind's as sharp as yer mother's. She keeps losing her   
glasses when they're right on toppa her head!" Akira joked, before   
catching his wife's thrown ladle upside his head.  
"It might be fun to visit him and catch up on all that's   
passed." Ukyou commented.  
"You won't tell him... everything... will you?" Yumi inquired as   
she picked up her thrown ladle.  
"No, not EVERYTHING," Ukyou said, rolling her eyes at her   
mother's wording, "But it will be nice to catch up."  
  
"They're both quite accomplished, wouldn't you say?" came a   
comment from Ranma-chan's right.  
Ranma-chan spared a glance at the person in question, Cologne,   
"Yeah, they've been at it for an hour now."  
Indeed the two combatants had. The ring was littered with broken   
gymnastic tools, instruments, chairs and even the announcer's table.   
Most of it had been thrown by Kodachi's ribbon and broken or knocked   
aside by Akane.  
Cologne noted the heavy amount of worry in Ranma-chan's voice as   
the young redhead watched the fight with intense focus, "Don't worry,   
the fight will be over soon. As much as that Kunou girl would rather   
not admit it, Akane's strike with the ball took quite a bit out of   
her."  
Ranma-chan blinked. Cologne was right, Kodachi's movements were   
very conservative, using her ribbon to hurl objects at Akane. But the   
objects were getting smaller and smaller as the Kunou girl lost   
strength faster and faster. Akane saw that her opponent was extremely   
tired, even moreso than Akane herself was, but unwilling to simply give   
up. Panting, she grabbed a chair and hurled it at Kodachi, before   
grabbing her ball and three clubs.  
Kodachi managed to leapt over the chair, landing on the nearest   
corner post just as Akane hurled her clubs and ball at the St. Hebereke   
gymnast. Kodachi managed to block the ball and two of the clubs, but   
the last slid through her defenses and struck her square in the   
forehead, causing her to topple off the corner post to land in the arms   
of her worried teammates, who quickly shuffled her onto a stretcher and   
off to the nurse's room.  
"AKANE TENDO IS THE WINNER!" the referee announced, raising   
Akane's arm.  
The spectators roared in praise or booed in anger. Either way,   
it became very loud for a minute as the head announcer scurried into   
the ring for a victory speech.  
"That was a spectacular match, Akane Tendo! Do you have anything   
to say?" the announcer asked, extending her microphone to Akane.  
"THANK YOU CLEVELAND, GOOD NIGHT!" Akane cried in english, before   
fainting backwards onto the mat.  
The room hushed a little at that bit of strangeness, but soon   
returned to it's former roar.  
"Her display of skills was admirable, don't you believe?" Cologne   
inquired.  
"Akane take pity of opponent for first bad injury and play fair,   
but she waste much energy to do so. She really as good as Great   
Grandmother say?" Shampoo asked.  
"Even playing fair, I'd say she won by a very large margin.   
Given an extra week or two to prepare, I think she could've won in much   
less time." Cologne responded.  
"Is true... she not bad for one week trainee. Amazon no improve   
that much in one week." Shampoo agreed.  
"Come, Shampoo. Let's go meet them at home." Cologne said,   
hopping away with Shampoo trailing closely behind.  
  
Soun gathered his ki. He was sure this was going to be it.   
Extending a hand to the pile of loose soil in front of him, he extended   
his energy into the mound and began controlling it, forming an exact   
replica of his own right hand... at a scale of 10 to 1. He used his   
left to test it's hardness. Hard as stone.  
Smiling as he clenched his fist, causing the large replica to do   
the same, Soun Tendo knew he was at last ready to begin creating new   
techniques.  
"Earth Hand. First one." Soun commented to himself as he left   
the energy dwindled and the soil returned to it's former loose state.  
  
Akane awoke in her own bed. Her muscles were a bit stiff, so she   
decided she wouldn't do anything serious for a little while.  
"That was quite a show yesterday." came the compliment from   
Cologne.  
"Elder Cologne." Akane said, nodding to the elder before rubbing   
her neck.  
"You were wasting your time. She was all but defeated after your   
first ball strike." Cologne responded.  
"I knew that halfway through the fight when she couldn't lift   
another chair." Akane answered, "But I wanted to beat her without   
taking advantage of that injury. Even if it's not seen as cheating, it   
would make me a bully."  
"You are indeed a rare specimen, girl. I've been doing some   
thinking and I believe you are indeed good enough to join Ranma in her   
amazon training." Cologne told her.  
"Really?" Akane inquired.  
"Really." Cologne answered.  
Akane smiled brightly, "Thank you! I'm honored!"  
"Hohohohoho... you might not think that when you actually   
start." Cologne told her.  
"Tough or not, I'll do it. I've made it my goal to always   
improve my skills." Akane responded, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm   
going to take a bath because I reek."  
Cologne smiled as Akane stood and headed for the bath. As the   
door closed, Cologne's smile faded.  
[No doubt about it. Her energy isn't totally compatible with her   
body. That means only one thing.] Cologne thought to herself.  
  
Ryouga Hibiki sneered as he felt her mind flare.  
"What do you want?" Ryouga demanded.  
//Let me out.//  
"No, not unless I want some lezzie lovin'." Ryouga huffed.  
//I don't think you understand. I said "LET ME OUT".//  
Ryouga fell to his knees as she flared angrily in his mind. Were   
he to say there was a bad part to his 'curse', it was HER. She was a   
sorceress of immense power, capable of rending reality, but she was   
currently trapped in him.  
Both of them looked upon the other as the ultimate annoyance.   
While Ryouga didn't mind her having similar tastes, i.e. women, he   
didn't like the fact that she was so demanding of her freedom. He   
didn't particularly like her or any woman trying to take control of   
him, which was why he stayed male most of the time.  
"Jeez, you're such a crab. Christ, I haven't felt this bad since   
I got diarrahea and stomach cramps eating Mexican." Ryouga groaned.  
//Thank you SO much for that information.//  
She was also a quick learner when it came to 'slang'. When they   
first spoke to each other, she was all 1030s with "thou art a talking   
ass".  
"Hey, you got any magic to get us back to that Akane babe?"   
Ryouga inquired.  
//Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listening. Oop, call   
waiting.//  
"Geez and here I was, ready to give you control..." Ryouga   
teased.  
//Then turn female. I refuse to have YOUR body.//  
"Why bother if you've got that kind of magic?" Ryouga inquired.  
//Because my body has the proper connections to the leylines.   
Your body would take years, even decades to use even a light spell. I   
swear, your method of energy usage is entirely ass-backwards.//  
Ryouga was about to make a biting retort when it began raining.   
Energy flared from his body, changing he into she.  
Ihadurca stood six feet five inches tall, a half foot taller than   
him. She had bluish-green hair tied back into a ponytail, long black   
leather gloves that reached her upper arms, black leather thigh high   
boots, and black backless and bellyless dress that had slits up both   
sides. Said dress was staying in place thanks to Ihadurca's large   
chest.  
Strange red tattoos covered Ihadurca's forehead as well as parts   
of her exposed chest and stomach. Not only that, but floating about a   
foot behind Ihadurca, a casual observer gifted with an ability to see   
magic would be able to barely make out a set of etherial white wings.  
"At last, the world will know the power that I, Iharduca,   
possess!" she laughed.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) Corked - Usually used as a baseball term. It generally   
refers to a wooden bat that's been hollowed out and filled with a   
strong metal, like steel. This allows the batter to strike with much   
greater force. The practice, I believed, is basically ignored nowadays   
with metal bats being allowed.  
  
Chapter 3, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
The Kachuu Teshin Amiguriken!  
Haruka and Ranma talk!  
Soun goes on a training journey!  
All this and a skating duel! 


	4. Oh, My Bleating Skate

Ihadurca was doing exactly what Ryouga had done to her. Ignoring   
him completely. Now that she was free, she had her own agenda. Though   
that Akane girl had intrigued her, she wasn't about to allow some   
backwards hick dictate where she went or what she did.  
The only reason she'd lost her war so long ago was because she   
had inferior minions and her apprentice had double-crossed her. Now,   
it was time to rebuild her army with more powerful slaves.  
//Hey, I thought you were gonna get me some lezzie lovin'!//  
However, she refused to be connected to that disgusting talking   
ass named Ryouga Hibiki. Just a few peeks into his memory had shown   
her things that were so wrong, even she was disgusted. For one thing,   
one didn't try to physically dominate a woman one lusted after. One   
MAGICALLY dominated said woman with magical potions or spells.  
So, she needed a method of separating them without killing her.   
Her spirit and body would be feeble shortly after such a separation,   
while Ryouga, who's spiritual energy had slowly been feeding Ihadurca's   
reserve, would be much stronger. Meaning that Ryouga would be free to   
do whatever he wanted to her after they'd separated. If she could   
convince him to look after her for a few days while she recovered her   
spiritual strength, she would be strong enough go about her own   
business.  
The biggest obstacle was that Ryouga liked her body, even if they   
didn't like each other. He would likely protest the separation and   
that could drain her spiritual reserves to lethal levels. Finally, a   
plan formed.  
"Listen, Ryouga. I've got a means of separating us. If you can   
look after me for a few days, though, I'll be fine enough to send you   
back to Jusenkyo to get another female body." Ihadurca inquired.  
//No way, beeatch! You gots some fine ol' titties! I ain't   
giving them up!//  
"I can improve your stature afterwards." Ihadurca told him.  
//..... bigger than yours?//  
"If that's what you want, yes." Ihadurca responded, trying hard to disguise her total disgust.  
//DEAL!//  
Ihadurca smiled. Things were FINALLY going her way.  
  
Cologne gathered Ranma-chan and Akane in the backyard. The grass   
had been cleared and two campfires had been started next to the pond.  
"This is the first training technique all Amazons undergo. It's   
known as the Kachuu Teshin Amiguriken. One takes a bag of chestnuts   
and dumps them into the fire." Cologne explained, opening a plastic bag   
of chestnuts and dumping them into the first fire, "Then, the trainee   
tries to pluck the chestnuts from the fire without getting burned."  
"Is that even possible?" Akane inquired.  
"Yeah, you sure you ain't pullin' our legs?" Ranma-chan asked.  
Cologne turned to the fire. A blur of green cloth later, Cologne   
held up the slightly roasted chestnuts. Both Ranma-chan and Akane   
whistled with appreciation.  
"You amazons must be fast if this is a first level training   
technique." Akane stated.  
"Indeed, try your hands at it. You'll probably get burned the   
first ten to twenty times, but your fire and heat resistance will also   
go up dramatically." Cologne explained, placing the chestnuts back into   
the fire.  
"Right!" Ranma-chan said, driving her hands into the flames,   
trying to imitate the speed she'd seen.  
Ranma-chan yelped, spun and drove her hands into the pond. Akane   
winced, but it was a valid training technique if most of the Amazon   
tribe knew it. Cologne dumped a bag of chestnuts into the second flame   
and gestured for Akane to try her hand at it. With an aire of   
determination, Akane kneeled in front of the fire, focused herself, and   
thrust her hands in.  
"YIPE!" Akane yelped, pulling her hands out quickly. She had two   
chestnuts, but her hands were lightly burned. She leapt over the fire   
and dunked her hands into the pond, just as Ranma-chan had, sighing   
with relief as the pain faded.  
"Give it another go. I'm sure you two will pick it up fairly   
quickly. Just don't do it more than five times a day or else your   
hands might not be useable for a little while." Cologne advised them.  
The two girls nodded vigorously.  
  
Kasumi hummed to herself as she headed to her father's room.   
Ranma and Akane had gotten up early to do some sort of training   
excercise with Cologne, and the unusual nature of the training had   
caught her attention. Nevertheless, she had to wake up her father or   
he'd sleep until noon and stay up way too late.  
An established sleep cycle should never be changed without a good   
reason or else bouts of insomnia might ensue.  
"Father? It's time to wake up." Kasumi called, just as she   
opened the door.  
She blinked as she saw the futon was still made as neatly as it   
had been last night. There was no way that could've happened unless...  
Then, Kasumi saw the note laying on the pillow. She picked it up   
and read it, "Oh dear... I guess I'll have to give father's portions to   
Ranma and Mr. Saotome."  
  
Ihadurca waited until Ryouga was out of the room. She was NOT   
going to spend even a day in Ryouga's 'care', which included stripping   
her down, fondling her and then placing her on a bed. She still had   
her connection to magic to use. She just had to find someone else to   
take his place while giving him something to do.  
The problem was figuring out what "to do" she should give him to   
deal with. He had many enemies, but most of them wouldn't deal with   
him properly. And if he came back and saw someone else taking care of   
her, he might think she was backing out on their deal (which she was).   
That meant she either needed a superior guardian or a vicious   
engagement to deal with him.  
She reached out to the proximity of the apartment. She felt a   
few strong fighters nearby. Yes, they would do as guardians. However,   
she did not want to be overt about it. A few Call To Arms spells in   
their minds to pull them to her should she want to be rid of Ryouga   
before she was ready, if he threatened or humiliated her, or if she was   
simply in need of something urgent. They would come over on the idea   
that they were just being neighborly.  
But, she would need some righthand people, ones totally devoted   
to her in every possible way...  
She recalled one of the plots of a cartoon Ryouga had seen a long   
while ago. He'd been using it as wank material, but the premise was   
solid enough for her to use: The creation of a physical body using an   
unreal templated person.  
Cartoon logic simplified it as people leaping out of a monitor   
into the real world.  
She was certain she could pull it off. She'd once managed to   
turn a bunch of crude cave drawings into an emergency guard. It had   
slowed her pursuers long enough for her to flee. The problem was that   
she didn't want simple creatures like the cave drawings, which had been   
too stupid to effectively fight and had only truly managed 'stump'   
level of deterrent.  
There had been an invention called 'Video Games'. From what   
Ihadurca had pulled from Ryouga's mind, they'd ranged from crappy block   
things (no better than the cave drawings) to fairly realistic   
renditions of humans and animals.  
Ihadurca sensed someone nearby who's brainwave activity was on   
par with that of a slave doing menial, but enjoyable, work. Usually   
that of cooking, but she could sense he was not in the right mindset   
for food.  
She cast a Clairvoyance spell and gazed through the wall to see   
a somewhat husky japanese teenage boy holding a grey device in his   
hands that had a long black cord reaching towards a much larger grey   
device, which itself had cords reaching towards a TV.  
She couldn't see what was on the TV, but she figured out rather   
quickly that the smaller grey device was a game pad (or joypad as   
slang) and the large grey device was a game system. She decided to go   
for a full Astral Projection. Rising out of her body, her spirit   
walked into the boy's room and glimpsed at the TV.  
"Impressive..." Ihadurca commented, seeing a fairly realistic   
female falling in slow motion to the deck of a flying ship-like vessel.  
"It ain't bad." the teenager responded.  
Ihadurca looked at herself. She shouldn't have been visible or   
audible. Which meant the boy was either a psychic or someone who had   
spiritual attunement. Neither were particularly impossible. She'd run   
into numerous people like that back in her hayday.  
"So, who is she?" Ihadurca inquired.  
"Tifa Lockheart. She's got max materia and all her Limit   
Breaks." he responded.  
"Is this the usual for graphics nowadays?" Ihadurca inquired.  
"No, this is an FMV. They spend most of their time making this.   
The graphics the rest of the time ain't so good." he answered.  
"Hmm. Then I should probably make her when her graphics are   
best." Ihadurca muttered.  
"Make her?" the boy asked, turning his head to look at her with a   
confused look on his face.  
"Yes. Make her." Ihadurca responded, waving a hand towards the   
game system.  
The game disk reversed to play the FMV. When Tifa's entire body   
was visible, a life-sized replica of said body appeared before the   
teenager, who yelped out as he scrambled backwards, "HOLY SHIT!"  
"I would call it something better than that." Ihadurca responded.  
"Uh... yes'm." the boy answered, switching to be a very polite   
tone for the CREATOR OF TIFA LOCKHEART. He'd already elevated her   
mentally to Goddess as he began prostrating himself at her feet.  
"Tell me more about Tifa and about some other powerful girls in   
video games..." Ihadurca prompted him.  
"Yes, my goddess." the boy answered.  
Ihadurca smiled. It was nice to be recognized for her greatness,   
even if it was just a man.  
  
"Say, Ranma, I'm going to be going to an ice rink this afternoon,   
did you wanna come?" Akane inquired.  
"Ice skating? Why?" Ranma asked.  
"Well, I'm going to be training to deal with varied footing. Ice   
skating helps in that. Besides, I think the cold air might be good for   
our hands." Akane replied.  
"Might be worth it." Ranma responded, watching her go.  
The sound of someone knocking on the door alerted Ranma to   
company. He hurried over to the door and opened it to reveal two   
teenage girls. One had long turquoise hair and the other had short   
blonde hair. Ranma recognized the blonde, "Haruka!"   
"Ranma, good to see you." Haruka responded.  
"Good to see you too. Who's your friend?" Ranma asked.  
"This is Michiru." Haruka said, introducing the two.  
Ranma nodded to her as he let the two girls inside. The instant   
the trio were seated in the living room, Haruka's face changed from   
neutral to restrained anger. Haruka wasted no further time on   
pleasantries, "You saw Ryouga?"  
Ranma nodded, "He's been here and at Furinkan High."  
"Do you think I can take him?" Haruka asked.  
"If you've kept up with your martial training, I think you can   
take him easily. He's going to have a lot of endurance, though, and   
possibly a few surprises." Ranma responded.  
Haruka nodded solemnly.  
"But whatever you do, Haruka, make sure not to get in over your   
head. Even the biggest moron in the world can be very dangerous when   
he's backed into a corner." Ranma warned her, "If he gets to be too   
much, get away and look for me, you got that?"  
Haruka nodded. Ranma held her eyes with strict stare for a few   
seconds longer to make sure that the blonde knew that he was serious.  
"If you need me, I'll be at the ice rink this afternoon and back   
here in the evening. If I ain't here, my pops or Mister Tendo'll be   
glad to help ya." Ranma informed her.  
Haruka nodded again. Ranma was more than reluctant to let his   
friend simply go around hunting Ryouga Hibiki. Regardless of how easy   
he'd taken Ryouga before, Ryouga could be a real monster when he   
actually got mad.  
Still, he had a promise to Akane to keep, for today anyway.   
Tomorrow, he was going to dedicate himself to helping his friend hunt   
down Ryouga.  
"Actually, if you wouldn't mind, we'll come with you." Michiru   
told him, "When dealing with someone as notorious and unpredictable as   
Ryouga Hibiki, we wouldn't want to be too careless."  
Haruka seemed a bit startled, but agreed. Ryouga had caught her   
offguard once. She never wanted that to happen again.  
  
There was a small town in the United States of America where a   
girl was packing for a trip. She was furious, embarrassed and   
depressed all at the same time. Nearby, a cat sat on her dresser,   
looking at her forelornly.  
"I wish you would reconsider this." the cat spoke.  
Yes, talking cats were indeed rare. However, they were not   
entirely uncommon in the underground circles. All of them were clever   
enough to keep quiet until around trustworthy people.  
"No. I was an idiot for ever revealing my true nature." the girl   
responded.  
"But consider what you're doing. You're leaving the COUNTRY and   
going to a country you can't even speak the language." the cat   
protested.  
"Look, I can get by, all right? I'm not the idiotic little girl   
you saw when I first came here." she answered.  
"But, Sabrina..." the cat prodded.  
"NO, Salem! I am NOT staying! I can't be around Harvey,   
okay?!" the blonde girl snapped angrily.  
The cat shrank away at the fury in her voice. She glared angrily   
at the cat for a few seconds, her blue eyes meeting his brown, before   
her face softened, "I'm sorry I snapped at you."  
The black cat sighed, then hardened his own face, "That's why I'm   
trying to point out that this decision is a bit hasty."  
"I can't be around him. He doesn't see me anymore. All he sees   
are my powers." Sabrina sighed, then feigned a bad imitation of   
Harvey's voice, "'Hey, Sabrina, conjure me up a burger, 'kay?', 'Hey,   
make that chick into a total hottie!', 'Sabrina, I want that, zap it   
up, 'kay?', 'Make me a millionaire, toots'."  
Salem winced, "He really said all that?"  
"Every word is verbatim." Sabrina responded.  
Salem sighed. One of the dangers of the magical world was that   
interaction with the non-magical humans usually resulted in awkward   
break ups. Sabrina had a few non-magical friends who didn't care if   
she was a witch or not, and those sorts of people were prized friends.  
There were people who reacted poorly to magically talented   
families, seeing such magically skilled people as pests and cheats, who   
didn't have an honest bone in their bodies.  
Then, there were people like Harvey, who saw a friend who had   
magical powers and thought of them as a servant genie, there only to   
grant whatever desires they had.  
Salem sighed. With the second and third category, there were   
usually only four real ways to deal with them: 1) Kill them, 2) Erase   
their memories, 3) Change them into something that couldn't speak until   
they promised not to tattle or 4) Move.  
Option 4 was always the most difficult as it left behind whatever   
true friends the person had gained. During the witch hunts, option 4   
was a necessity quite often, with a dose of option 2 and 1 mixed in,   
depending on the situation.  
"Well, I suppose it is necessary... just so long as you come back   
if you feel lonely. We'll do what we can to straighten Harvey out."   
Salem offered.  
"No magical reformations. We both know that sort of thing never   
works out in the end." Sabrina told him.  
Salem sighed deeply, then nodded. It was always sad seeing a   
good witch leave the nest, but this was a step that Sabrina needed to   
take to clear her head. Otherwise, it might lead to her delving into   
what he called the "less pleasant" arts, often involving demon   
summoning and trying to break up romances that reminded the witch of   
her own lost chance at happiness.  
"Besides, I have the translation spell." Sabrina told Salem.  
"Yes, but you have to have fresh clay for that. Do you know how   
much clay might cost over there?" Salem asked.  
"No. That's why I'm having it sent to me dirt cheap from Magic   
Components R Us." Sabrina explained.  
"Well, if you've got everything figured out... good luck,   
Sabrina." Salem told her as she turned to leave.  
The instant he heard the front door close, Salem shook his head.   
He'd thought better of Harvey, but that was probably why they'd never   
confided in him.  
  
Haruka Ten'ou had many secrets, one of which was being Sailor   
Uranus. She would have preferred any other name, given the terrible   
pun attached to the planet's name, which was why she went by the title   
of Sailor Meteor. Given that none of her attacks required her to shout   
out her planet's name and the only indicator that her name was   
something other than Sailor Meteor was her transformation phrase, she'd   
managed to keep it under wraps.  
Of course, there was now an inquiry from the Inner Senshi to Luna   
as to how many Senshi there were and Luna was still trying to figure   
out where Sailor Uranus was, seeing as even Sailor Saturn had been   
located and revealed.  
Though she wanted to go out and beat the ever-living shit out of   
Ryouga Hibiki, she'd accepted that she should wait until Ranma was   
available to help out. She knew Ranma could defeat Ryouga, but she   
wasn't sure if she could beat Ryouga.  
Which was why she, Michiru, Akane and Ranma were all skating.   
Haruka was wearing a white sweater with black slacks while Ranma wore   
his only long-sleeved shirt (blue) and his traditional black pants.   
Michiru wore a dark maroon skating leotard to Akane's violet skating   
leotard.  
Michiru was a swimmer, but she was also an excellent skater.   
Akane and Haruka only had memories of ice skating from other lives, so   
they were a bit rusty, but quick to relearn.  
Ranma was like a carp on dry land: Trying to move as he had prior   
to the environment change.  
With three people who had skating experience helping him, though,   
he quickly learned at least how to stand up and how to move   
forward. They were still working on stops when Ranma accidentally   
knocked Akane backwards.  
Akane yelped as she slid away, trying desperately to recall how   
to stop when moving backwards while panicking. Just as she was about   
to collide with the wall, she felt herself get scooped up. At first   
glance, the white sweater indicated that Haruka had saved her.  
However, Akane saw to her disgust that it was, in fact, the same   
jerk who'd caught her outside of the grocery store.  
"Again, you fall into my arms. Fate must be keeping us   
together." Mikado Sanzenin said, smiling sauvely.  
Most romance-starved girls would have fallen for that line, but   
Akane was smarter than that. She curled herself so that her feet   
caught the side of Mikado's head. His grunt and slackening of arms   
proved that Akane had struck hard enough as she managed to twist and   
land feet first on the ice.  
Akane turned to tell him to piss off when she noticed that an   
alley cat had clamped onto his head and was digging it's claws into his   
skull.  
"What the hell?" Akane asked no one in particular.  
"Pierre! What are you doing on Mickey's head?" came a voice the   
spoke both of bubbles and air residing within the owner's skull as a   
girl with light wavy brown hair and a pink leotard slid between Haruka   
and Ranma, sending the pig-tailed boy to greet the ice backfirst once   
again.  
"HEY!" Haruka growled after the rude girl.  
The girl plucked the cat off of Mikado's head, ignoring Mikado's   
screams as the cat pulled some flesh with it. Not enough to bleed, but   
more than enough to hurt.  
"YOU STUPID COW! KEEP THAT DAMN FLEA-BITTEN HAIRBALL AWAY FROM   
ME!" Mikado roared at his partner.  
"It's okay, Pierre, I'm right here." his partner responded,   
ignoring him completely while petting the alley cat, which looked like   
it wanted to return to the alley whence it came REALLY BADLY as she   
hugged far too tightly for any animal to be comfortable. It's hoarse   
rasps for air had Akane ready to save the poor creature. Alley cat or   
no, being crushed to death was not a fitting end for any animal.  
Mikado interupted Akane by sliding over to her, "Forgive the   
intrusion, Hanako. My partner's name is Azusa Shiratori and she can be   
quite rude at times. How about that kiss?"  
He cupped her chin and puckered his lips while closing his eyes,   
whic was mistake #5. His first was getting his partner to knock her   
over, his second was trying to kiss her, his third was showing up   
again, his fourth thinking she owed him a kiss, his last was trying to   
get said kiss when his partner was killing an animal.  
Strike 5, he was a dead man. And she'd get his idiotic animal-  
abusing partner too.  
Akane decided on her favorite routine.  
She punched him in the face, kneed him in the balls, then as he   
keeled over clutching himself, she combined a hammer blow with a rising   
knee. Mikado collapsed to the icy rink. She would have followed it up   
by grinding his face into the ice, but skate blades were poorly suited   
to the task.  
Akane then snatched the alley cat away from Azusa.  
"GIVE PIERRE BACK TO AZUSA!" Azusa cried as Akane skated   
backwards away from the girl.  
"Want him? Come get him." Akane told the girl flatly, holding   
the cat to her left, like a matador and his cape.  
Azusa charged, moving as fast as she could. Akane spun, then   
lashed out with a sweeping kick that sent Azusa toppling forward. She   
quickly rose and finished Azusa off with an elbow to the back of the   
skull.  
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the conclusion of today's   
broadcast. Good night." Akane declared haughtily.  
Haruka whistled appreciatively. She was impressed with the skill   
Akane had shown. A bit vicious, yes, but she herself would have laid   
into either one of the two idiots. Michiru was amazed that Akane had   
managed such grace into her finale. Ranma sighed and wished people   
would stop souring Akane's mood so he could try and ask her out on a   
date.  
Akane cradled the cat in her arms, "I'm going to go and call an   
animal hospital. Even if it's put to sleep, it would be far more   
humane than leaving it in their care."  
"Right. We'll deal with Tweedle Dumber and Tweedle Jackass."   
Haruka agreed.  
Michiru and Ranma nodded. Ranma wanted to know why Mikado had   
called Akane 'Hanako', but decided that he could find out later. It   
was more important to get the cat some medical attention. Akane smiled   
and headed for the rink edge. The instant she was out of eyesight,   
Mikado managed to return to his feet.  
"Where did Hanako go?" Mikado groaned.  
"Geez, talk about thick. Listen, jackass, she's not   
interested." Ranma growled.  
"And who might you be? Her boyfriend?" Mikado huffed, regaining   
his composure.  
"Ranma Saotome, her fiancee." Ranma told him.  
"Fiancee? Then, I presume you two have kissed?" Mikado inquired.  
"Well..." Ranma floundered, before snapping, "that's none of your   
damn business!"  
"I can tell that you haven't by your avoidance of the subject.   
Very well, then, I shall duel you for her first kiss." Mikado declared.  
"Bring it on, jerkwad!" Ranma snarled, leaping into the air and   
lashing out at the arrogant jerk with a jump kick. Mikado chuckled and   
slid aside, causing Ranma to smash into the ice.  
"Amateur." Mikado snorted.  
Then, he felt Ranma's hot breath behind him. He spun away   
quickly as Ranma punched at where he had been. However, his shirt was   
torn in the exchange.  
"Hey, cool! That guy's taking on Mikado!" a bystander noted.  
Haruka turned to him, "Is he any good?"  
"Good? He's the smarter half of the Golden Pair, Kolkolz's   
martial arts skating team." the bystander responded.  
"Martial arts skating?" Haruka inquired.  
"Yeah, people ain't been very interested in sports for the last   
decade or so, so a lot of the schools have been adding the title   
'martial arts' and allowing fighting between competitors. Gymnastics,   
bowling, soccer, baseball... that sort of stuff." the bystander   
responded.  
Haruka wondered what martial arts bowling would be like as she   
watched Ranma try five more haphazard strikes.  
Michiru massaged her forehead, "He's not learning very well, is   
he?"  
"Give him time. He'll see it." Haruka responded.  
Ranma climbed out of the sixth crater he'd made in the fight and   
glared at Mikado, who hadn't even broken a sweat. The only attack that   
Ranma had successfully launched had torn the guy's sweater and that was   
it.  
"Enough of this. You're just damaging the rink and wasting time.   
I didn't want to use this on someone so unskilled, but you've been a   
nuisance long enough." Mikado declared, before spinning in place.  
Ranma blinked as he saw Mikado's arms and legs move up and down.   
There was no way to attack head on without being bashed aside.  
"Ranma! Look for his weakness!" Haruka called.  
Ranma glanced at Haruka. If she could see the guy's weak point,   
so should he. But if a dedicated martial artist like Ranma couldn't   
spot it at first glance, it had to be something fairly obvious. Common   
sense, Ranma reminded himself, was always the difference between   
victory and defeat. It was one of the most brilliant pieces of advice   
he'd picked up from a non-martial artist.  
Mikado was spinning. Spinning in place. That meant he couldn't   
move or adjust himself. He was on skates, which were difficult to   
balance on.  
Ranma grinned as he picked up a fragment of ice and pitched it   
hard against Mikado's skate. It caught Mikado's skate just as his toe   
was beginning to face toward Ranma. The momentum shifted Mikado up   
onto his toe, which was on the precarious piece of ice. He was pitched   
forward and onto the ice.  
Mikado growled as he rose back to his hands and knees, ready to   
go pummel the insolent fool for what he'd done when Ranma's flying   
descending elbow slammed into his left kidney, forcing the pompous   
skater back against the ice, where the anvil and hammer-esque meeting   
with his kidney between them caused him to black out.  
"Good work, Ranma." Haruka called.  
The crowd cheered, especially the guys who'd lost girlfriends to   
Mikado and the girls who'd been dumped by Mikado.  
  
Ihadurca smiled. Her servant, Toshi, was quite useful in   
selecting powerful warriors. With luck, her army would be great enough   
to take on the world within a week.  
If only.  
Each of the women she'd brought to life retained all the skills   
and 'stats' that they'd had in the game. Their intelligence at first   
seemed quite limited.  
Apparently, as Toshi explained, what they understood came from   
the game and non-game situations were difficult for them to comprehend.   
Like a person who'd lived alone in a hole in the ground all their life   
suddenly being brought above ground to live in metropolis with planets   
and animals.  
They would need time to learn how to interact with non-game   
situations and environments. Then they would be ready.  
Tifa Lockheart and Yuffie Kisaragi of FF7 were the most   
experienced; followed by Rose and Shana of Legend of Dragoon; Rosa and   
Rydia of FF4; Garnet and Beatrix off FF9; the Ninas of Breath of Fire 1  
&2 (they would need to figure out how to tell the two apart); Riona,   
Selphie, Quistis and Fuujin from FF8; Terra and Celes from FF6; and   
Reina and Faris from FF5.  
After that, the list sank pretty quickly. Most of the girls from   
fighting games like King of Fighters 96 and X-men Versus SNK were   
completely unsure as to what to do. They'd never been able to do much   
outside of fighting and making speeches at endings.  
Luckily, Ihardurca had been able to create a sub-dimensional   
mansion where the girls would spend time with Toshi learning how to do   
things outside of the games.  
If things went well and the memorization spells Ihadurca had   
placed on them worked fast enough, she might be back to where she had   
been at her height in about a year.  
  
Akane looked through the phone book. She should have found an   
animal hospital or shelter, but it was her ninth time flipping through   
the 'animal' section. It was like something was distracting her from   
being able to read the words.  
"AHEM! Perhaps my distraction spell didn't catch your attention.   
There's no need to call for a vet." the female cat told her.  
Akane blinked and looked at the cat with a questioning look on   
her face. She glanced around for someone else, but she was alone, save   
for the cat.  
"I said 'there's no need'. I'm fine." the cat reaffirmed.  
"Oh...kay..... so you're a talking cat. How come I never noticed   
one before?" Akane asked the cat.  
"Security reasons. Anyway, Miss 'Tendo', my name is Bast-" the   
cat began.  
"Like the Egyptian Goddess of Cats?" Akane inquired.  
"Yes, except I _am_ the Egyptian Goddess of Cats." Bast   
responded.  
Akane looked at the cat, "Then why didn't you take care of   
Azusa?"  
"Because Miss Shiratori would have been prematurely placed into   
an asylum otherwise." Bast responded.  
"Prematurely? It's way too frickin' late if you ask me." Akane   
retorted.  
"True, her record isn't exactly a clean one. Listen, normally, a   
goddess such as myself wouldn't have even inhabited this body. This   
poor soul has been on the verge of dying a number of times and the   
stress of being an avatar is likely going to be the final straw for her   
body. But, I needed to talk to you concerning a little mishap." Bast   
began.  
"Mishap?" Akane asked.  
"You see, your prior body was due for a wish on your twenty first   
birthday. Ordinarily, despite the body transference, the wish goes to   
the proper party." Bast explained, "However, at approximately 4 to 8 PM   
on April 16th, your body stopped existing and the wish was used under   
your original account."  
"What do you mean 'stopped existing'? And how could the wish   
have been used with my account? I haven't used the words 'I wish' in   
over two weeks." Akane demanded.  
Bast sighed, "Your body is no more. We don't know the method,   
but the circumstances are tied to the wish used, meaning we would have   
to look up said wish's file in order to find out what happened. And as   
for the actual wish file... well, we're not proud of the fact, but even   
in heaven, there are bugs. One of these bugs became rather large and   
tampered with the wish records, so right now, we're forced to re-sort   
every wish application since 1803 AD to the present. And there are   
more than you can shake a finger at before it falls off."  
"Why didn't you tell me before now? I mean, it's been four   
days!" Akane asked, exasperated.  
"To be honest, we thought you would appreciate privacy in this   
matter, seeing as you are Akane Tendo now, not who you were before. I   
would stay longer, but..." Bast began, before shifting into the form of   
tall cat-headed woman wearing a white touga-esque gown, "...I'm needed   
to help in the sorting. We apologize for this fiasco and if you   
discover what occurred, here's my personal phone number. Use it ONLY   
once and for that matter as the number will become inaccessable if you   
try to call it second time."  
"...." Akane responded, nodding as Bast vanished, taking the   
cat's body and soul with her.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Chapter 4, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
Sabrina Spellman In Japan!  
Battle With Hibiki!  
The Return Of Tendo!  
  
Sidenote: I'm unsure how many people are familiar with the Sabrina storylines. Frankly, I barely follow them. The one I'm using is BASED ON the animated series that I saw the Disney channel running. For example, since I believe pirate skulls are indistiguishable from normal skull and miniature dragons can't be that common, a gateway to the nether-realm would be nigh impossible.  
Thus, I'm altering mainly the magics, but a few other things. Like the boy Sabrina had an immense crush on, Harvey, is now a grade A jerk. 


	5. The Two Akanes: Ranma, Forgive Me!

Ryouga Hibiki was habitually lost. For someone in his family to   
find one another, let alone a particular destination, usually required   
a full cycle of the moon. Ryouga had found, however, that he could   
remain in the same town if he so desired, whereas the rest of his   
family could walk in and out of three different cities without even   
noticing.  
Of course, there were prices to be paid for even that level of   
direction.  
He was evil by nature, and thus, unable to use his family's   
school's patented Righteous Fist. Secondly, he developed enemies very   
quickly, usually by opening his mouth near other lifeforms. Thirdly,   
he often ran into said enemies when he was trying to find something   
much more pleasureable. And finally, he always assumed victory would   
always be his in any given fight (and that all women wanted him).  
Akane Tendo was standing outside an ice rink holding a business   
card. She had just tucked it away in a pocket when she sensed a vile   
spirit nearby. She leapt forward, catching Ryouga's chin with a   
crescent kick as she narrowly avoided an ass pat from the lecherous   
boy.  
"What's wrong, babe? I thought we had chemistry..." Ryouga said,   
rubbing his chin. She was indeed powerful. It would make screwing her   
senseless even more enticing.  
"Yeah, pop rocks and coca-cola." Akane shot back, hopping away.   
The more distance between her and Ryouga, the better.  
"Where ya been all my life?" Ryouga said, trying to sway Akane   
with words.  
"Hiding here from you." Akane snorted.  
"I just wanna learn more about you," Ryouga said, trying ease her   
anger, "like what's your sign?"  
"Do Not Enter." Akane retorted.  
"How about we spend some romantic time together?" Ryouga   
inquired.  
"Let's not and say we didn't." Akane shot back.  
"How about two of us have a romantic walk on the beach?" Ryouga   
pressed, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
"Sounds great, if you aren't there." Akane snapped.  
Ryouga decided that if words couldn't sway the girl to realize   
how much she was so OBVIOUSLY in love with him, she'd have to learn it   
like all the others did. After they had sex.  
Akane, however, had expected someone with Ryouga's type of aura   
to eventually try for something physical. After all, Mikado had a   
similar aura, but on a much lesser scale.  
As Ryouga charged her, she darted forward, slamming her fist into   
his stomach before kneeing him in the face. As he clutched his face,   
she punched him square in the balls. He hunched forward as Akane spun   
to his side and used an axe blow to send him to the ground. She   
quickly skipped backwards to prevent him from attacking her from the   
ground.  
As she suspected, Ryouga got up rather fast and this time, he had   
a look of anger on his face. She knew exactly what he would do if he   
won a fight with her. That got her own blood boiling.  
Ryouga roared as he charged her.  
  
Sabrina stepped out of the terminal and blinked in surprise. For   
what should have been a rather busy international airport, the Tokyo   
International Airport was very... vacant.  
In fact, there hadn't been anyone else on her flight. Sure, 1 AM   
flights to Tokyo probably wouldn't have been in high demand, but   
still...  
Sabrina wondered if perhaps her relatives or Salem had played   
some part in it, but they wouldn't have bothered emptying the entire   
airport.  
Baggage check went by quickly and she got most of her cash   
exchanged into yen at a fairly good rate. She found a taxi and gave   
the driver the address. She was soon on her way to the apartment where   
she would be living in until she finished high school.  
  
Cologne watched the battle with intense interest. Ryouga might   
have been worse than slime, but he was a very accomplished martial   
artist. His anger, however, limited his intellect and skill. Akane,   
though she was almost as mad, used Ryouga's anger against him,   
manipulating him into overreaching every strike and capitalizing on   
every opening to tear into the lost boy with every bit of viciousness   
of a tazmanian devil.  
Indeed, had Ryouga not gained the titanic levels of endurance   
that he had, the fight would have been over twice over. Akane did not   
waste the oppurtunity to deal, what most honorable tournaments would   
have labeled 'illegal', moves on the lost boy when he was down. Even   
Cologne had to wince when Akane did a double foot stomp onto Ryouga's   
left kidney, then ground his face into the mud.  
She didn't feel any pity for Ryouga, but rather concern for   
Akane. Where on earth could such a vicious and brutal fighter have   
come from?  
However, the fight was not going in Akane's favor, despite being   
as devastating as she was in every attack. Ryouga's endurance allowed   
him to soak such a majority of all of the damage she dealt him and it   
was becoming more and more obvious that the lost boy was going to win   
out on sheer endurance.  
The fight had already gone on for roughly fifteen minutes and   
Akane was showing clear signs of exhaustion. She was still managing to   
dodge Ryouga's attacks and deal out vicious retaliations, but she was   
losing strength every second. She was bolstering herself with her ki,   
but she couldn't hold out much longer.  
She was sweating and breathing rather heavily. Her muscles were   
burning. Ryouga was just beginning to look slightly winded and   
battered.  
Finally, it happened. Ryouga surged forward faster than Akane   
could dodge and struck her across the face. Akane responded by kicking   
him in the throat just before she land roughly on top of a bench that   
broke easily under the impact.  
Akane winced as she sat up. Ryouga had just made the mistake of   
a lifetime by hitting her. It was all she need to activate her final   
and most vicious secret.  
Before she could use it, however, Ranma appeared in front of her   
and Haruka appeared next to him. Michiru was at her side.  
"Are you all right?" Michiru asked.  
"I'm fine. But what about-" Akane began.  
"They've been dealt with. Please let Haruka handle this."   
Michiru told her.  
Akane turned to Haruka. Even from behind, Haruka's rage was   
obvious. If anything, Akane could pass on what she'd learned in the   
fight, "Haruka! He's got thick skin and a ton of endurance! You'll   
have to hit hard if you want him to feel anything and DON'T worry about   
being too dirty! I was giving him shots to the kidney and he barely   
noticed!"  
Haruka couldn't hold back. She launched herself forward. Ryouga   
snarled at the intrusion and lashed out at Haruka, who slid inside his   
guard and struck him in the gut with as much force as she could use.   
Her strength was bolstered by her sailor powers, meaning that Ryouga   
was forced to notice the attack and curl around Haruka's fist.  
Haruka backed up just enough so that she could grab Ryouga's head   
and slam her knee into his face over and over again. Finally, she   
gripped Ryouga by the back of his head and slammed him facefirst into   
the nearest source of cement, the street.  
"Remember me, Ryouga? The girl you 'helped' back in Junior   
High?" Haruka asked, adding as much venom to her voice as she could.  
Ryouga could only look up at her.  
"I'm here to pay you back for your 'kindness'. Prepare to feel   
every moment of it and know that this was brought on by your own   
actions." Haruka told him.  
Ryouga had never suffered true defeat. Mostly because no one,   
even when he was a child, could ever compete with his endurance and   
ability to soak up damage like a living sponge. However, an enraged   
magical girl who's skills at fighting were comparable to his own and   
could deal out damage beyond what he could ignore lead to a very   
vicious beatdown.  
Akane whistled in appreciation, "Nice kidney punch. Wish he'd   
gurgled and had his eyes bug out like that when I was doing my double   
foot stomp on it."  
Michiru sighed while Ranma almost felt sorry for Ryouga, almost   
being a substitute for 'not at all'. After six brutal minutes, Haruka   
dropped the battered lost boy.  
"Finally, I feel better." Haruka said, pausing to kick Ryouga in   
the head again.  
She'd just turned away from Ryouga and was halfway to Michiru and   
Akane when she saw a look of worry cross Michiru's face and a grimace   
cover Akane's as both of them rose to their feet. Glancing backwards,   
Haruka saw that Ryouga was glowing with a very unhealthy-looking green   
aura.  
"Thanks... I needed that..." Ryouga told them, a mixture of blood   
and saliva running out of his mouth as he grinned at them, "NOW IT'S   
TIME TO DIE! DEMON'S FIST!"  
Cologne could only watch as the poisonous aura blast sent all   
four teenagers flying backwards to hit the outer walls of the skating   
rink building. The aura was that of evil gone out of control. She had   
to act to save her two students and their friends. Meanwhile, the   
quartet were recovering their feet and trying to figure out how to deal   
with that sort of power.  
However, something beat all five of them to the punch. Namely, a   
golden cane slamming into Ryouga's gut. It flung him upwards into the   
air, where a woman appeared and slammed him down towards the earth. As   
Ryouga cratered the cement, the cane reached the woman's hand.  
"Iha...durca... we.... had..... a deal....." Ryouga said weakly,   
coughing up more blood.  
"I'm cancelling that deal, effective immediately." Ihadurca told   
him, smiling grimly. She had never expected such a ripe oppurtunity to   
get rid of Ryouga to pop up so quickly, but she was going to capitalize   
on it immediately. She pointed her cane at him, "GO TO HELL!"  
Seventy magical blasts filled the crater before Ihadurca   
vanished. Hesitantly, Cologne leapt down to inspect the crater.   
Nothing was left of the lost boy, save some shredded pieces of cloth   
and black scorch marks.  
"Oh, hell." Cologne commented as she recalled the name that   
Ryouga had spoken.  
"What? What is it?" Akane asked, approaching the crater and   
blinking a few times, before assuming a neutral look.  
"The name he said..." Cologne began.  
"Yeah, I thought it was 'Ee-ha-do-ka' or something like that."   
Akane responded.  
"Then I must say it again. Oh hell." Cologne sighed.  
  
Kasumi hummed a melody to herself as she hung up the day's wash.   
With Akane helping out with cooking (and actually not making a mess of   
things as she once had) and both Nabiki and Akane chipping in on   
various other chores, Kasumi found that she had a lot more free time.  
She'd rediscovered some favorite soaps that she'd been forced to   
ignore ever since Akane had begun breaking things, but she'd also found   
a lot of bad or boring daytime TV inbetween. As such, she had spaced   
out a lot of her chores over the day to make the time pass by faster.  
Life was better now that Akane had calmed down and become a much   
more rational person. Ranma and his friends Shampoo and Cologne were   
certainly very interesting. Shampoo was pleasant to talk to, even if   
her lingual skills weren't the best at the moment. And Cologne could   
always entertain both Kasumi and Shampoo with her knowledge of tales.  
The front gate creaked slightly, signalling that someone had   
entered. The creak was a faint one that Kasumi's well-trained ears   
could pick up from anywhere on the grounds, so long as she was outside.   
She walked towards the front gate to see who it was.  
Hopefully it wasn't another door to door salesman. They didn't   
seem to understand that it was a family policy never to buy from   
wandering salesmen. Nabiki had spent many weeks chastising their   
father when he bought a bunch of bargain perfume as a surprise gift and   
was unable to return it. Kasumi rarely thought of Nabiki as anything   
other than her younger sister, but Nabiki had shown that she could be   
quite forceful with everyone in the family concerning financial   
decisions.  
"Kasumi?" came a hesitant call.  
"Oh, Akane, you're home." Kasumi said pleasantly, noting that   
Akane looked younger and slightly shorter than she had that morning.  
Akane looked at her older sister, "That's all you can say? I've   
been gone for over a month!"  
Kasumi blinked. She considered Akane's tale and then recalled a   
few stories that Cologne had told her, "You wouldn't by any chance have   
stumbled across the legendary Nanban Mirror, did you?"  
"The what-what mirror?" Akane asked.  
"Hmmm, then I'm afraid you must have the wrong dimension. We   
already have an Akane." Kasumi informed her.  
Again, Akane stared at her older sister, "Kasumi, I vanished over   
a month ago, remember?"  
"No..." Kasumi informed the obviously confused dimensional   
traveler, "...our Akane has never vanished. You're just confused.   
Would you like some tea?"  
Since the Akane that was in front of her was obviously not her   
own little sister Akane, Kasumi had shifted into 'new guest' mode.   
Akane clutched her head and groaned, wondering what had happened.  
  
Meanwhile, a different Akane was with Ranma, Haruka, Cologne,   
Shampoo and Michiru, discussing the sudden murder of Ryouga Hibiki and   
the strange woman who'd appeared to finish him off. Only the two   
amazons had looks of worry and fear. The japanese quartet was mostly   
confused.  
"You know that woman, Cologne?" Ranma asked.  
"If it's who I think it is, then not personally, but I know OF   
her." Cologne sighed, "She's an evil woman from over three thousand   
years ago."  
"And here I wouldn't have placed her a day over forty." Haruka   
commented, arching an eyebrow.  
"She's not actually three thousand years old." Cologne   
admonished, "Though, when she died, she was well into her middle two   
hundreds."  
"But wait, if she's dead, how can she be back again? I mean,   
there's no way someone who's been dead that long can suddenly come back   
to life." Ranma inquired.  
No one seemed to notice the quick glances that Haruka and Michiru   
exchanged.  
"Hmmm, I'd best relate the tale." Cologne announced.  
Cologne took a few deep breaths and began the tale, "Over three   
thousand years ago, there was a rather overly oppressive kingdom. The   
men of that kingdom sat on their asses while women in that kingdom were   
given no rights or freedoms. The women were forced to do everything   
from farming to building to fighting in the wars.  
"But a powerful sorceress by the name Lea Feil, lead a revolt   
against the kingdom and slaughtered all the arrogant men, but the boys   
who were too young to know anything were spared. With what they could   
gather, Lea Feil lead them to a beautiful valley and established a new   
village.  
"However, peace was not to last. Lea Feil passed on her arts to   
one of the young girls in the village named Ihadurca. Ihadurca had   
grown up despising all men, but Lea Feil hoped that she would calm   
herself when she noticed how limited even magic was. Ihadurca didn't   
accept the concept of limitations and..."  
Cologne paused in her tale, "Around this point in the story,   
there's a lot of jabbing at what Ihadurca did to gain the knowledge for   
even greater magic."  
"The point was, Ihadurca soon surpassed her mentor and went on to   
gain unimagineable power. Mixing both mythology and the knowledge that   
the warriors of the village had, Ihadurca left the village around her   
sixteenth birthday, after an arguement between her and Lea Feil   
revealed that Ihadurca had no compassion for anyone of the male   
gender." Cologne continued, "Six years later, she returned even more   
powerful. Lea Feil decided that she needed to stop her student, who   
had grown powerful and arrogant. The fight, sadly, was futile as   
Ihadurca had long since outstripped her mentor's abilities in nearly   
every field."  
Cologne took looked down, "After that, Ihadurca was free to do as   
she pleased. She enslaved the minds of the women and slaughtered all   
the men, sparing not even the male children, then moved to the next   
nearest village and did the same. For many long years, she held the   
women of the small villages in her grasp, finally choosing a student of   
her own, named Kakurine. Much like Ihadurca had been to Lea Feil,   
Kakurine shared none of her mentor's sentiments, having lost her only   
family member, her brother, to Ihadurca's slaughter. However, unlike   
Ihadurca, she did not voice her hatred. She stayed by Ihadurca's side   
and from there, plotted Ihadurca's downfall. It took many years, but   
Kakurine managed to gather enough allies with magical talent that they   
felt they could win in a fight.  
"The battle was fierce, as Kakurine decided to keep her betrayl a   
secret, at least until she was certain of Ihadurca's powers.   
Eventually, Ihadurca and Kakurine were forced to flee and made their   
way to a cliff, at the bottom of which, a large spring-fed lake lay.   
When they were near the edge of the cliff, Kakurine struck, disabling   
Ihadurca's ability to fly and pushing her to her demise.  
"However, Ihadurca did not want to die and tried with all her   
might to change the shape of the lake, so that she might land in a pool   
deep enough that she might live. Kakurine saw what Ihadurca was trying   
to do and did what she could to counter, resulting in hundreds of   
separate springs."  
Cologne's eyes rose to meet everyone else's gaze, "Ihadurca's   
death was not the end of her influence, though. She had, in her final   
moments, managed to curse the springs that Kakurine had made so that   
she could be resurrected should another fall in. Kakurine could not   
undo the curse, but she did manage to manipulate it."  
"You're talking about Jusenkyo, aren't you?" Ranma asked.  
"Of course, and the villages became the Jokuketsuzoku, right?"   
Akane concluded.  
Cologne nodded, "Ihadurca's magic was so great that the curse   
would last for all eternity, so even if she were killed over and over,   
she would always be able to resurrect herself. Kakurine's manipulation   
allowed all, but the spring Ihadurca had fallen into, to be prepared to   
do the same thing as it had to Ihadurca. The difference was, they   
would copy whoever fell into that particual spring next, so all who   
fell in after that first person would change into that person and not   
Ihadurca. However, for some reason, many of the pools became generic,   
such as the pool of drowned girl. No one is sure why."  
"Well, at least I don't have some weirdo talking in my head."   
Ranma murmurred to himself.  
"Say, wouldn't that mean that Ryouga's curse was..." Michiru   
began.  
Haruka snorted, "He probably got suckered in with promises of all   
the women he could ever want or something, then let her use her magic   
to separate herself from him. Once that was done, she waited until he   
was weak, then iced him."  
"But why would she wait? If she was as powerful as the legends   
say, she could've killed him once she'd separated." Ranma inquired.  
"Creating a second body is very difficult and despite her magical   
talents, her spirit would still be very weak. As such, her body is   
even weaker. She probably used a magical projection to kill him."   
Cologne explained.  
"So, what do you think she'll do now that she's free?" Haruka   
inquired.  
"Probably lay low for a while. But, if she's decided to hold a   
grudge, she may hunt down our village and enslave us again. Otherwise,   
I haven't a clue. She'll definitely be looking to increase her power   
and resources." Cologne explained.  
"Well, be that as it may, we should probably head home, seeing as   
it's unlikely for her to do anything so soon. We can all meet again at   
the Tendo Dojo tomorrow." Michiru declared.  
With a nod of agreement, the group split up. Ranma was again   
looking upset, because it would probably be weeks before Akane was in   
the mood to go out on a date.  
  
Sabrina looked around her apartment. Her aunt Zelda had tried to   
warn her that japanese apartments were small, but she'd been expecting,   
from Zelda's explanation, that the apartment would actually be smaller.   
But, then again, the place was moderately expensive as apartments   
went. Sabrina considered that. She'd have to apply for the Japanese   
equivalent of a green license so she could get a part time job. She   
didn't really need the money at the moment, but working up some   
shopping money for later was always a good idea.  
With a small sorting spell she'd researched at her uncle   
Quigley's request, she had all of her things neatly sorted and put away   
in...  
Sabrina sighed as her things fell to the floor. She kept   
forgetting that she hadn't brought her furniture with her. A quick   
levitation spell got all of the items off the floor and a decent   
distance from where she conjured her furniture. She repeated the   
sorting spell and it was almost identical to home.  
"Hey Sabrina." came Salem's smooth voice.  
"Salem? When did you get here?" Sabrina inquired.  
"I was sleeping on your be-er, dresser when you conjured it."   
Salem explained.  
"Oh. Sorry." Sabrina apologized.  
"Kid, you gotta break that nasty habit of apologizing every time   
you screw up. To be honest, every warlock and witch in the known   
universe has boofed it in their youth. Hell, most of them continually   
boof it, from kid to the grave." Salem admonished, mentally adding [It   
can be quite a short trip for some of them.], before continuing, "So   
what if you caught me in a conjuration? I can always teleport back."  
"Yeah... but... I don't want you to feel angry with me if I ever   
interupt something important. And I don't want to get like some   
witches, where when they make a mistake, they're all snotty about it,   
like it was the fault of someone or something else." Sabrina told him.  
"Those _are_ good reasons, but trust me, you'll never be like   
those witches. And we'll always forgive you. Trust me, when I was a   
warlock, I once accidentally zapped the Marquis De Sade into my buffet   
table when I was trying to conjure up some more Sadis punch." Salem   
replied, "And don't ask what Sadis punch is. It was hugely popular   
back then, but it's illegal now, 'cause it's weakens the inhibitions of   
the drinker and De Sade managed to get his hands on some. After that   
book came out, it was like the hot potato. No one wanted to touch the   
stuff. But it was always funny seeing the pope moon an entire crowd   
after he drank a few cups. He had this REALLY ugly wart-"  
Sabrina stared at Salem, who quickly stopped his rambling.  
"Oh, right. Too much information." Salem apologized.  
"WAY too much." Sabrina declared.  
"Well, anyway, I'll leave you to it. If you ever need anything,   
don't be afraid to ask. We're always there for you." Salem told her.  
"Thanks, Salem." Sabrina responded.  
With that, Salem teleported back home.  
  
Akane was on the verge of exploding. Kasumi kept called her   
'Akane 2' and asking 'what her world had been like'. However, Akane   
did not want to explode at her eldest sister. Nabiki, maybe, but never   
Kasumi. Kasumi was the one Akane never wanted to hurt.  
Nabiki kept giving her 'the eye' as Akane called it. It was   
given to people who were lying in Nabiki's eyes. The most annoying   
thing was that both Nabiki and Kasumi kept trading ideas on who or what   
'Akane 2' really was.  
"I really think she might be a dimensional traveler." Kasumi   
reiterated.  
"She could be a pod-creature. You know how those things were."   
Nabiki suggested, "Or she could be a man using a magic cloth to   
disguise himself as Akane."  
"I'd believe she was a witch or a demon in disguise before that,   
Nabiki, and we can plainly see she's not bright enough or calm enough   
to make a passing imitation of our Akane." Kasumi responded.  
"But what if she gathered her information a few months ago?   
Akane wasn't as calm back then." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Hmmm, that's possible..." Kasumi agreed.  
"Or she could be a doppleganger. I've heard they frequently do   
childish things like this." Nabiki stated.  
"She could be an alien trying to infiltrate our household using a   
holographic projection of our sister in order to ascertain our human   
traditions and rituals." Kasumi shot back.  
"OOH! How about a magical girl using disguise magic, who's   
trying to get a magical artifact that's hidden somewhere in our home?"   
Nabiki inquired.  
"What about a magical animated ninja from a video game, who's   
trying to send us spiraling into misery and despair at the request of   
an evil demoness named Marla?" Kasumi asked. (1)  
"Now THAT'S pretty far out there." Nabiki commented.  
"Hmm, you're right." Kasumi noted.  
"I'm home!" another Akane called, with a male voice echoing the   
same statement.  
"Oh, Akane 1 and Ranma are home." Kasumi said.  
"Who's Ranma?" Akane 2 asked.  
Just then, Akane 1 and Ranma stepped into the room.  
"You're just in time for some tea. We've got a visitor, who   
happens to be you, Akane. We've been calling her Akane 2 to avoid   
confusion." Kasumi explained, in the same tone that one might said "I   
made some waffles and cinnamon toast, just the way you like it."  
"Huh?!" both Akane 1 and Ranma inquired.  
Akane 2 and Akane 1's eyes met. Ranma looked between the two.   
Save for Akane 2 being slightly shorter, there were no physical   
differences. Their auras, however, were completely different. Akane 1   
radiated calm with some concern and confusion while Akane 2 radiated   
hatred and anger.  
"I'll be right back. I've got to make a phone call." Akane 1   
declared abruptly.  
A few minutes later, Akane 1 returned from the phone with a cat-  
headed woman trailing behind her. Everyone quickly noticed that she   
was wearing a white dress with only one shoulder strap and she was   
carrying an opened laptop, but no one seemed to notice Ranma shying   
away from the strange woman.  
"I figured as much. This could only happen to someone with HER   
record." the woman declared, before addressing everyone, "My name is   
Bast, Goddess First Class. I'm here to resolve some of the confusion   
over these two Akanes."  
Everyone save Akane 1 looked to Bast with intense curiosity while   
Akane 1 turned to study the koi pond.  
Bast pressed a few buttons on her laptop, "A few months ago,   
Akane Tendo made a wish, using the Shooting Star entry access point.   
Ordinarily, for a wish to be accepted in such a fashion, the person has   
to have built up enough 'credit' to gain a wish. However, a bug got   
into the system and several wishes came true that night. Two people   
became cats, one person is now a broadway performer, another person is   
dying of a chocolate overdose, a quadrapeligic is no longer a   
quadrapeligic and is in better physical condition than he's ever been   
in, and then there was Akane's wish."  
"Akane's wish was that she could be someone else. However, since   
there was no one specifically stated, another person was chosen at   
random. Since the wish was stated in such a fashion, she had to remain   
herself while becoming someone else. Thus, there was a mind, spirit   
and soul transfer between the two people. The other person gained   
Akane's body while Akane gained their body." Bast continued.  
Bast scrolled down on the laptop before continuing, "The other   
person was due for a wish using the Birthday Candle access point.   
However, the records had gotten screwed up and Akane was allowed usage   
of a second wish. This one she used to wish, and I quote, 'I wish I   
had the body of Akane Tendo, age 16'. This resulted in Akane's new   
body changing into a copy of Akane Tendo's body at the age of 16. This   
resulted in the destruction in the last anchor point for the file for   
the other person. The file is listed under 'Annihilated'."  
"So, what does that mean?" Nabiki inquired as Akane 1 turned   
around to face the group.  
"It means that even if the newer Akane wanted to, she could never   
become who she was without using _two_ wishes. She'd have to wish for   
her file to be removed from the Annihilated folder, then wish to have   
that particular body." Bast explained, "However, it would take a   
lifetime to regain enough 'credit' to do so by our system. She would   
have to rely on Genie wishes."  
"And it would be a waste of time trying to find a genie just to   
get my old body back." Akane 1 sighed, "Regardless of whether I wanted   
it or not, who I used to be is now dead beyond resurrection."  
"I don't understand, couldn't she just wish to have her old body   
back?" Kasumi inquired.  
Bast shook her head, "When a file goes into the Annihilated   
folder, it's impossible for anyone to assume that exact form ever   
again, even by accident, until it's been removed from that folder. And   
unfortunately, that requires either the approval of whatever dieties   
guided her fate, five hundred years to pass or a wish. And the dieties   
of fate are nearly impossible to convince."  
"Why five hundred years?" Ranma asked.  
"Well, after five hundred years have passed for a file in the   
annhiliated folder, it gets reviewed for potential recirculation. Body   
profiles are always placed back into circulation."   
"Say," Akane 1 began, glaring harshly at Akane 2, "I just   
realized something... how did you get back to Japan?"  
"I bought a ticket." Akane 2 responded.  
"And what about a passport? You can't leave a country without a   
passport." Akane 1 growled.  
"The Japanese embassy gave me one, seeing as I AM a citizen of   
Japan." Akane 2 replied.  
"You've never paid municipal tax, Akane, you're not technically a   
citizen. Besides, didn't anyone ask how you got to America without one   
in the first place?" Akane 1 demanded.  
"I told them I'd been kidnapped and gave them some bogus   
profiles. Tall, hairy-faced, always wearing a brown hooded jacket and   
black sunglasses whenever I saw them. Don't worry, I didn't tell them   
anything about your family." Akane 2 told her.  
"All right, I suppose you could have faked your way through all   
that, considering that you're here. But what about my family? What   
did you tell them?" Akane 1 inquired.  
"Huh?" Akane 2 asked.  
"MY FAMILY. WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?" Akane 1 queried louder.  
"I didn't tell them anything. I took off once I got my body   
back." Akane 2 responded.  
"YOU _WHAT_?!" Akane 1 shouted.  
If looks were like tiny lasers, Akane 2 and ten miles behind her   
would have been reduced to ash on the atomic level.  
"They aren't my family. Why should I care?" Akane asked.  
Akane 1 gripped Akane 2 by the front of her school uniform and   
hauled her up so that their noses were almost touching, "So you swapped   
our bodies, wasted MY WISH, destroyed any chance of ME regaining MY   
original body, used MY MONEY to come back home, left MY family in a   
state of worry, panic and confusion and now you're telling me that you   
don't care?"  
Akane 2's blaise attitude wilted under the furious gaze of her   
elder counterpart. Everyone else watched the bizarre face-off in   
silence.  
"Meanwhile, I've been taking care of YOUR family by reducing   
financial strain, improving YOUR family's house by helping out with   
your sister's chores, raising YOUR school grades, dealing with YOUR   
morning fights, and doing my best to keep YOUR friends and family from   
undue anguish and confusion by being the best darn Akane Tendo I could   
be, seeing as I am NOT you, and now you're telling me that YOU   
shouldn't have to care about MY family." Akane 1's voice was calm, but   
it was a terrifying calm, like just after a rattlesnake's tail shake, but just before it bit. And though her voice was calm, her face held   
barely restrained rage.  
Akane 1 shoved Akane 2 backwards to land on her rump.  
"I should kill you, but you aren't worth the effort." Akane 1   
declared, marching out of the room.  
Bast looked after her, then announced, "She took that much better   
than I originally thought she would."  
"Is there any good news for her?" Kasumi inquired.  
"For the original Akane Tendo, yes. Since both of her wishes   
were used by proper access, even if it technically wasn't, she gets to  
keep her age 16 body, but it will begin to age, so no immortality. As   
for the Akane you've come to know... not much. Once one of them   
chooses a new name, and I'm doubting the newer Akane will want to keep   
hers, their records will be sorted out. After that... there's not much   
we can do." Bast apologized.  
"But shouldn't she get a wish?" Kasumi asked.  
Bast shook her head, "Unfortunately, it's not an automatic thing.   
Wishes are dispensed to only those who build up certain requirements.   
We can put it up to a review board, but the likelyhood that she's going   
to get one is very low."  
"Then can you at least give her a background?" Nabiki requested.  
"Why are you bothering?" Akane 2 huffed.  
Akane 2 wilted again under the combined disapproving glares of   
Kasumi, Nabiki, Ranma and Bast.  
"I don't need this. I'm going to go practice." Akane 2 declared,   
deciding that to stay would cause her further embarrassment.  
Ranma thought he heard Bast mutter, "Never gets any better,   
regardless of the timeline." but decided not to inquire. It was   
probably beyond him. Or something he wouldn't like to find out.  
"Anyway, we can help her get a new background, but we will need   
an official name for the new file. Here's the card for one of our   
historical accuracy offices. Just tell them the case file number that   
I've written on here and then her new name and they'll handle the   
rest." Bast explained, handing Kasumi a card.  
Kasumi and Nabiki bowed to the goddess as she turned to leave.   
Bast paused and looked into Ranma's eyes. She then gave him a slightly   
slap on the forehead, then nodded before exiting the room.  
  
Cologne arrived in Akane's room, intending to look up on her   
prized student. She became concerned when she instead saw Akane   
packing a traveling pack.  
"Going somewhere?" Cologne asked.  
"Away." Akane replied, stuffing more clothes into the pack.  
"This wouldn't have anything to do with Ihadurca, would it?"   
Cologne inquired, trying to guess what could make one of her two newest   
pupils so angry.  
"No. It has everything to do with who I'm not." Akane responded.  
"So the original owner of your body came back." Cologne noted.  
That made Akane pause, then she remembered that she was talking   
to an amazon elder. She nodded, "Only she used a wish and wound up   
permanently destroying my original body while changing my former body   
into a copy of her body at the age of sixteen. And I've been told that   
I need TWO wishes to be able to regain my body."  
Cologne winced. Body-swapping was never a pleasant experience   
for those unfortunate enough to experience it. In rare cases, one or   
both of the people actually liked the body they'd been swapped into,   
but that was usually not the case. But for one of the two to lose the   
chance to go back to the body they'd had...  
"So, you're leaving to be away from the other Akane." Cologne   
commented.  
"No, from Akane." the girl growled, "I was disgusted with her   
when I just saw into her notes, but upon meeting the real person, I   
find that I don't even want to have her name. I've decided to instead   
take the name Cerl."  
"Cerl? I don't believe I've ever heard of that one." Cologne   
noted.  
"It's a name I got from a game. A girl who was torn apart inside   
by what others had done to her. Seemed appropriate, given what Akane   
has done to me and my family." Cerl responded.  
Cologne was silent as she watched Cerl pause in her packing and   
clench a fist, "She just DITCHED THEM! No letter of explanation, no   
trying to explain what had happened... once she got her body back, she   
ran off. Who knows what sort of panic and grief she's inflicted on   
them? I COULD KILL HER! THAT STUPID BITCH!"  
Cologne noticed a hastily written letter, but it wasn't written   
in japanese.  
"A letter to your family?" Cologne inquired, hoping to help keep   
Cerl's mind away from anger. The less she dwelled on the anger, the   
better off she would be.  
"I did the best I could. Hopefully, I'll be able to at least   
calm the worst of my family's fears by telling them I ran off to elope   
with a nice girl and the crazy girl they saw run off was a hired   
distraction. Probably not the best explanation, seeing as my family is   
very open to every race, color and creed, but it's all I can manage."   
Cerl explained.  
"And what about your new family?" Cologne inquired.  
Cerl was quiet for a minute, "I don't intend to leave them the   
same way Akane left my family. But I can't stay under the same roof as   
Akane. She's pissed me off too much. It's for everyone's own good   
that I leave. I'll probably camp out in some abandoned lots until I   
can find an apartment I can afford or someone to room with."  
"Well, regardless of what has transpired, Cerl, you are still my   
student and I will continue training you." Cologne told her.  
"Thank you." Cerl responded.  
"AAAAAH!" came Akane's scream.  
Cerl snapped to attention, "That came from the dojo."  
"Should we really check it out?" Cologne inquired.  
"Considering she's a clumsy moron? Yes. Even if I hate her, we   
don't know what might have happened and I'd hate for it to be   
Ihadurca." Cerl responded.  
The amazon elder and newly renamed girl both arrived at the dojo   
within seconds.  
"What's the matter, child?" Cologne inquired.  
"All of my boards and bricks are gone! There aren't even any   
blocks!" Akane cried, "How am I supposed to train?!"  
Cologne quirked an eyebrow, wondering if the girl was working on   
a bakusai tenketsu-style training, because otherwise, she couldn't see   
the point of having so many different things. Cerl, on the other hand,   
quickly shifted from concern to extreme annoyance.  
"OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! You screamed bloody murder for the   
lack of construction materials?!" Cerl demanded.  
"I need them to train!" Akane shot back haughtily.  
Cerl glared at her, "An _untrained_ _monkey_ can do the same   
board and block-breaking that you can, Akane. Besides, if that's all   
you do, you don't need to train anymore. You'll never improve as a   
martial artist, so you should just stop now."  
"How dare you!" Akane growled.  
"How dare I point out the obvious? Face it, Akane, you suck at   
just about everything. Just give up and practice saying 'Would you   
like fries with that?'." Cerl responded.  
"THAT'S IT!" Akane cried, charging at Cerl, intending to the   
throttle the, in Akane's eyes, haughty body-snatcher.  
Cologne moved to intercept the youngest Tendo, but Cerl motioned   
her to stop before calmly walking toward the charging Akane until they   
were within striking distance of each other. With one clean motion,   
Cerl knelt down and slammed a fist into Akane's stomach. Akane let out   
a whurfling noise before doubling over and clutching her stomach.  
"You... you hit me!" Akane huffed out.  
"Yes, and that was the most obvious attack ever, Akane Tendo."   
Cologne admonished the downed girl, "She could have disabled you a   
hundred different ways and there would have been nothing you could have   
done that would have changed the fact that she's superior to you in   
every way. Your level of martial skill is pathetic next to hers."  
"But... she is me..." Akane protested, still trying to regain her   
breath and keep down the rising bile.  
"Wrong. Even though I've been training at much higher levels   
than you ever had, you could have at least dodged that attack using the   
knowledge I had. I took everything you knew and incorporated it into   
what I knew, thereby becoming infinitely better than what you had been.   
You had the same chance, but you threw it away." Cerl told Akane, "And   
what's more, since I have become this hybrid of you and me, I refuse to   
take your name anymore. I'm Cerl now."  
"And what do you intend to do, Cerl?" came the voice of Soun   
Tendo.  
"Dad!" Akane cried, "She hit me!"  
Soun glanced at Akane, then back at Cerl, "I can see that. She   
is obviously worthy to be the Heir of the Tendo school of Anything Goes   
Martial Arts."  
"WHAT?!" Akane demanded.  
"Quiet, Akane." Soun told his youngest daughter, "When Cerl   
showed the calm and peace of mind that I'd hoped that you would   
eventually display, I was filled with pride. Teaching both of you was   
always a joy, but you, Akane, let yourself be consumed by your   
emotions, while Cerl, who is just as emotional, has used her mind to   
keep them in balance."  
Soun walked forward and placed his hands on Cerl's shoulders, "I   
know Akane has caused you much grief and what I will ask is not an easy   
decision, but Cerl, will you please remain? Though you are not my   
daughter by birth, you are my daughter in spirit."  
Cerl looked up into Soun's eyes. They reminded her of her own   
father's eyes. She closed her eyes and thought. Though it was not her   
own, she'd grown to feel at home with the Tendo family. It would be   
difficult coming to accept the most annoying member of the Tendo   
family, she really didn't want to leave.  
"All right. I'll stay." Cerl agreed.  
  
She sat on the roof, looking up at the stars. Ranma-chan didn't   
particularly care for her female side. It was difficult to get used to   
the sudden height reduction, changed center of gravity and the breasts,   
but it was helping her become a better martial artist.  
It also felt more natural to ponder her emotions in her female   
body, especially when the thought of a certain member of the Tendo   
family. Ranma-chan felt very very fortunate to be able to change   
between her two bodies. If the Jusenkyo magic had been different, who   
knew what might have happened?  
"Ranma?"  
Ranma-chan turned, "Akane?"  
"It's Cerl now." the girl explained.  
"Oh." Ranma-chan stated.  
"Since it's not my given name, I felt I should let the original   
have it." Cerl half-lied.  
Ranma-chan nodded. Silence filled the air for several moments.  
"Ranma, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Cerl declared.  
"Huh?" Ranma-chan asked.  
"All this time, I never told you the truth about who I was. And   
we were friends. That's inexcuseable." Cerl apologized.  
"Well, you didn't really know, did you?" Ranma-chan inquired as   
Cerl sat down next to her.  
"Sort of. A few months ago, I'd eaten some bad food and joked   
with my friends that it had been poisonous. The next morning, I woke   
up in Akane's body. I thought the food must REALLY have been poisonous and I'd died from it. Then I realized that I had been reincarnated.   
But I was confused as to why I was in Japan, I was a teenager and it   
was only the next day." Cerl answered.  
Cerl continued her explanation, "I tried to rationalize it out,   
but the idea that I'd swapped bodies seemed too preposterous. I mean,   
in most stories, people swap bodies with other people that they know,   
or at the very least, have seen. But Akane and I have never left our   
respective countries prior to this. So, I decided that Akane must have   
wished for death so greatly that she'd died. It didn't really explain   
how I'd been reincarnated into her body, but it was all I could come up   
with. So, I did the best I could to be Akane Tendo."  
"It's kind of funny." Ranma-chan chuckled.  
Cerl blinked, "What is?"  
"Who knew that a guy who swaps genders at the touch of water   
would fall in love with a person who'd swapped bodies." Ranma-chan   
responded.  
Cerl stared in bewilderment as Ranma-chan leaned over and kissed   
her.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) - This is from Ah! Megami-sama (or Oh! My Goddess).  
  
Chapter 5, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
Someone with a flame for Shampoo!  
Ihadurca's power expands!  
All this and more on the next episode of Akane Revised Z!  
Just kidding!  
  
How it could have been:  
Ryouga's Curse...  
Idea #1 - Angel (see NXE for name). Very powerful in   
beginning. Angel's energy reserves have been building for centuries.   
Worst part: Ryouga's personality with Angel's knowledge. Unmonitored   
Angel could draw attention of Goddesses, though.  
Idea #2 - Sorceress. Powerful and ruthless. Dominates   
Gosunkugi as he has some hidden magical talent. Sorceress had mostly   
female slaves over three thousands years ago, who later became the   
Chinese Amazons.  
  
Mikado & Azusa - No longer the Golden Pair (they were removed   
from the team after Azusa stole all the hockey equipment and burned it,   
calling it 'icky'), Mikado's decided to use Azusa's stupidity to pick   
up girls. 


	6. Fall Of The House That Akane Built

The Tendo household wasn't used to family dilemmas. The addition   
of a newer and younger Akane, and the subsequent name change of the   
older Akane to Cerl, took some getting used to. And most importantly,   
Nabiki and Kasumi deserved an apology.  
"I'm sorry for not telling you all sooner. However, I had no   
idea of what had transpired. I had to go purely on what I could hash   
out. I believed that it would be better not to stress your family with   
undue knowledge that I was not your real sister." Cerl apologized.  
There was an uneasy silence as Cerl bowed to her biological   
sisters. Compared to their real sister, Cerl was, to be perfectly   
honest, a saint.  
"It's... a bit unsettling, but the truth of the matter is that   
you made things a lot easier for us." Nabiki spoke up.  
"Yes, housework isn't as time-consuming as it was before. And   
your cooking is improving every day." Kasumi added.  
"Thank you. However, it does not excuse the fact that I did not   
tell you the truth. As such, I will accept any punishment that you see   
fit." Cerl declared.  
"You've more than made up for it with your actions. You did not   
create a burden for our family and instead, did what you could to ease   
the strain that was already upon us. I see no reason for you to be   
punished." Kasumi told her.  
"Same here." Nabiki agreed.  
"If that is your decision, then I shall accept it." Cerl replied.  
Both of the elder Tendo sisters shifted uncomfortably. In truth,   
the formality of Cerl's apology was infinitely more disturbing than the   
fact that she used to be a man. After all, they'd already gotten used   
to Ranma. And besides, what Akane _had_ done was more infuriating than   
the implication that Cerl _could_ have done numerous unforgiveable   
things.  
Akane sat to the side, snorting derisively at the formal apology.   
She couldn't defeat Cerl in combat, but that didn't mean Cerl was any   
better than her. After all, Cerl was just taking advantage of the   
kindness of her family and the amazons, not to mention all of the   
skills and advantages of her original body.  
Akane was not going to forgive Cerl at all for what she had done.  
"Also, as Akane will need to catch up in school, I believe it   
would be best if she stayed at home, at least until father can create a   
background for me." Cerl explained.  
"That's been taken care of, thanks to Bast. But what about the   
way you two look? I mean, everyone will notice that you two are almost   
identical." Nabiki noted.  
"When it's time for Akane to return to school, I'm going to dye   
my hair blonde and curl it." Cerl explained.  
"Blonde?" Nabiki asked.  
"Well, as father explained, it'll be easiest to list me as a   
half-american to make up for any slips I might make, so blonde would   
make me seem foreign. Which I am." Cerl reasoned.  
"And just WHERE will you be getting the money for your hair dye?   
Or do you intend for us to shoulder the expense?" Akane demanded.  
Hair dye didn't exactly cost much, but Akane wanted to take every   
oppurtunity to make Cerl look bad. Which, if she had thought further,   
made herself look petty by comparison.  
"I've made money betting on 'our' morning battle. It's not much,   
but enough to send away for the hair dye." Cerl responded, "Unlike   
SOMEONE, I believe in taking responsibility for the things that I do."  
Akane growled, ready to lunge at Cerl, but twin disapproving   
glares from Kasumi and Nabiki stopped her. Akane fumed, glaring   
daggers at Cerl. It was all she could do.  
"Why send away for the hair dye?" Nabiki inquired.  
"While it would be easier to go to a salon and get my hair dyed   
by professionals, the fewer people who have the chance to see Akane   
Tendo go into a salon and come out a blonde or see Akane buying hair   
dye, the better. Send away at least forces anyone whoever might want   
to know into a large amount of red tape. Besides, it should be here by   
Saturday." Cerl reasoned.  
Nabiki arched an eyebrow. On the one hand, it seemed like Cerl   
was a bit paranoid, but she did have a large number of valid reasons.   
Heaven was doing a coverup, but there was still the possibility of that   
someone might notice.  
"I refuse to stay at home." Akane protested.  
"You're way behind in school." Cerl told her.  
"We can get a note from Doctor Tofu saying that I've got light   
amnesia, removing the last few months from my memory. Then, I'll just   
catch up." Akane declared.  
"It wouldn't be right to ask Doctor Tofu for such a thing."   
Kasumi admonished Akane.  
Cerl sighed, "But it _is_ something we should do. A sudden   
change in personality, especially from mine to hers, would be viewed as   
being caused by trouble in the family. If she has 'amnesia' and   
'reverted to the way she had been a few months ago', it would be more   
easily shrugged off. Besides, it would directly affect her grades on   
the upcoming test next friday if she were to go back cold. This way,   
she has some leniency."  
The eldest two Tendo sisters reluctantly agreed.  
  
The Sailor Senshi were quite real, despite the many critics who   
called them urban myths and the monster attacks that occured as 'mass   
hallucinations'. The Sailor Senshi did their best to downplay their   
public appearances while doing their best to fight evil. After all,   
the more public they became, the more people wanted to see them. The   
more people wanted to see them, the more the media tried to hunt down   
their true identities. And that would lead to much worse things.  
Besides, the h-doujinshi artists were already bad enough as it   
was. Chibi Moon had made only a few public appearances and already,   
she had roughly fifteen very disturbing h-doujinshi about her. And   
Makoto was sick and tired of all the manga depicting her with a penis,   
going around impregnating every other senshi, all because she had the   
name Sailor Jupiter.  
It was apparently a popular idea that she was the one responsible   
for Chibi Moon's appearance just after Sailor Moon had disappeared for   
over a year. Even worse was the reaction of every girl Jupiter had   
rescued since the aforementioned h-doujinshis popped up: All of them   
kept patting her crotch or trying to look under her skirt.  
The troubles hardly ended there. Ami was also irritated. Just   
because Sailor Mercury had a visor and a computer, it was believed that   
she was always using the X-ray function on her visor and that she was   
secretly addicted to various disgusting websites because as the saying   
went, "It's always the quiet ones that shock you the most.". It would   
certainly shock those people who said that phrase that she was exactly   
who she was publicly. Shy did not equate to 'skeletons in the cloest'   
for Ami Mizuno.  
Minako and Rei were secretly S&M and/or bondage fanatics,   
according to those same manga. Usagi and Setsuna were plagued with   
being the dildo fetishists, since they had long instruments. Luckily,   
Hotaru was fairly new to the scene, thus she didn't have anything to   
complain about _yet_.  
The only thing the h-doujinshi ever got right was the   
relationship between Sailor Meteor and Sailor Neptune.  
When the Senshi met, one of the first topics discussed was the   
recent slew of H-doujinshi. Mamoru often put in earplugs and read a   
book rather than talk about how Tuxedo Kamen was portrayed. Haruka and   
Michiru had taken to copying him for the most part.  
However, this meeting had a much more urgent note, so Haruka   
decided to interupt, "Everyone, please. Let's discuss what we called   
this meeting for?"  
The group quieted down and Mamoru took out his earplugs.  
"We've got a new enemy. While I wouldn't call her an enemy at   
first glace, seeing as she did something I'd been tempted to do for the   
last few years, she is nonetheless evil." Haruka announced.  
"Really?" Usagi asked, brightening almost immediately. A new   
enemy meant actually having an excuse to exercise, which meant she   
could get off that stupid diet Luna had forced on her. After all,   
she'd be countering her eating habits with calorie-burning battles.  
Haruka related what Cologne had told them.  
"This sounds like it's going to be a lot of trouble." Makoto   
noted.  
Ami agreed, "A full-fledged sorceress that can do that when she's   
not even present will be very dangerous."  
Usagi had heard the story, but once Haruka had stopped talking,   
her mind had begun choosing what tasty foods she'd eat first. Luna had   
been quite annoying about her demands that Usagi keep in shape.  
Setsuna, meanwhile, had pulled out a book that another, more   
experienced, Sailor Pluto (who looked like Makoto) had given her a few   
days ago, the cover of which read "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Being   
Sailor Pluto, Written By Makoto Meiou, Edited by Usagi Meiou, Published   
by Hotaru Meiou".  
  
Shampoo listened to her grandmother's tale calmly. It seemed   
unbelieveable, but her grandmother did not lie often and when she did,   
she didn't take on such a serious tone.  
"So, Cerl is boy now trapped in Akane's body. And Akane is now   
girl again, but she used to be in Cerl's old body." Shampoo repeated,   
doing her best to figure out the tale, "This is very confusing,   
grandmother."  
"It is, but Cerl has told me that it will be easy to tell them   
apart soon." Cologne told her.  
Shampoo nodded, then a troubled look crossed her face,   
"Grandmother, what will we do if Ihadurca does come back for us?"  
"I don't know, granddaughter. I honestly don't know." Cologne   
responded.  
  
Akane had come to school Monday morning just as planned, after   
Nabiki had gotten the requested note from Doctor Tofu. Akane didn't   
like the fact that Cerl would be attending the same school, let alone   
the same grade. But she especially hated that she had to have a   
doctor's note stating that she had light amnesia, but it was the only   
way that she would be allowed time to catch up in school. After all,   
she was over a month behind.  
Akane glanced over at Cerl and grimaced in subconscious envy.   
Cerl looked just as good as a blonde. Akane wouldn't admit it, but she   
had always wondered if she would look good with a different hair color.   
But for some reason, Cerl looked beautiful, even in the stock school   
uniform. Why Cerl had decided to wear the winter skirt was beyond her.  
And then there was Ranma. She'd found out about his curse and   
instantly made a sour face, which irritated everyone further. Her   
family had apparently been poisoned by Cerl's presense. But she knew   
the truth about Cerl and what a pervert she really was.  
Ranma was glancing between Cerl and Akane. It was getting harder   
and harder to believe that Cerl and Akane had the same body. Cerl just   
seemed so much more mature and more beautiful, even though the blonde   
hair and name change were difficult to get used to.  
Then again, it probably had to do with the fact that Akane seemed   
like an irritating little brat when compared to Cerl. The more he knew   
real Akane, the more he liked Cerl. Cerl had been understanding of his   
curse, while Akane was not. Cerl had been friendly and open-minded,   
while Akane was annoying and as close-minded as one could get without   
going into a coma.  
Cerl was still puzzling over what had happened between her and   
Ranma-chan. Was she really ready for a relationship? And was it right   
to force Ranma to be a girl just to ease her former male ego?  
The only thing that had been distracting her from her ponderings   
was Akane, the annoying brat. It was becoming more and more obvious by   
the moment that Akane was projecting all of her own faults onto Cerl.   
Akane had probably already shifted the blame of the body-swapping to   
Cerl and was seeing Cerl as an intruder and a pest, poisoning the minds   
of HER family.  
"And who's she?" Akane demanded, pointing at someone next to the   
front gate.  
Both Ranma and Cerl snapped out of their thoughts and looked at   
the blonde girl. She had long blonde hair and dreamy blue eyes. She   
wore a white shirt and pink skirt.  
"Haven't a clue. She must be new." Cerl commented.  
"You mean you don't know?" Akane asked snidely.  
"Unlike you, Akane, I'm willing to admit when I don't know   
something. Blind ignorance will get you nothing these days." Cerl shot   
back.  
Akane growled as Cerl and Ranma continued to school.  
  
Shampoo was relaxing on the roof of the apartment building that   
she and her grandmother were currently living in. Unlike in her home   
village, it was actually possible to get a tan in Japan, so Shampoo was   
taking the oppurtunity to see what it was like.  
There were very few opportunities to get one for a warrior,   
unless someone from the merchant caste asked said warrior to come with   
them on a trip to a costal city. The farming or fishing castes also   
got tans, but they were usually limited to areas like the arms, necks   
and/or legs.  
Luckily, there were even fewer oppurtunities for a healer to get   
a tan, so there was at least that peace of mind for the average   
warrior.  
Then, it happened.  
"SHAMPOO MY LOVE!"  
Her tanning session was ruined. Shampoo rolled out of her   
tanning chair and took off her shades in one fluid motion. A blue-  
robed figure collided with the chair and rolled off, the figure's long   
loose black hair swirling wildly as the person hastily returned to   
their feet.  
"That wasn't very nice, my love." the figure complained.  
"Gel, why in nine HELLS you here?" Shampoo demanded.  
The dark-haired girl grinned lecherously, her grey eyes gaining   
an almost sinister gleam, "To see you, my darling."  
"Sorry, Shampoo. I tried to keep her in the village, but she   
overheard some elders talking about you and Cologne being in Japan, and   
took off." came another voice.  
Shampoo glanced quickly at the almost identical twin of the girl   
she was glaring at, "It okay, Mousse. You try. It no your fault your   
sister is crazy."  
"Crazy in love." Gel declared.  
Mousse adjusted his glasses as he addressed his twin sister,   
"Gel, why can't you just leave her alone?"  
"Because she think with loins, not head. If she think other way   
around, she realize Shampoo no like her." Shampoo commented.  
"That's true." Mousse agreed.  
"HEY!" Gel growled, glaring at her brother, "I can forgive my   
darling for saying such things, but you, dear brother, are not   
forgiven!"  
Gel leapt into the air. Mousse grimaced as he readied to block   
the inevitable slew of abnormal missiles.  
"TAKE THIS!" Gel cried, flinging a number of objects, mostly   
silver, black and pink.  
Mousse raised an enormous chinese wok and hid behind it as Gel's   
projectiles bounced off it's titanium shape, leaving no sign that   
they'd even struck.  
"I see she no change at all." Shampoo noted as one silver object   
landed in her hand. The object was vibrating. Shampoo twisted the   
bottom and the vibration stopped.  
"Can't you ever get real weapons?" Mousse asked, blushing at the   
large number of dildos and vibrators that were scattered around his   
feet. At least it wasn't her nipple clamp or love doll collections   
again.  
"No, because I never know when my beloved Shampoo will realize   
her love for me." Gel answered.  
Mousse groaned. Shampoo smiled, but it was a very tense smile,   
like the ones babysitters put on when seeing a neighbor's brat who'd   
joyfully broken an entire cabinet of irreplaceable fine china and was   
seeking praise for the work done.  
Gel found herself overlooking Tokyo by way of low earth orbit   
(LEO).  
  
The students of Class 1-E were quite surprised to see not one,   
not two, but three new female students. Two blondes and a brunette.  
"Class, we have three new students. I'll let them introduce   
themselves." Mr. Kawashima announced.  
Cerl stepped forward, "My name is Cerl Tendo. I'm seventeen and   
I was born and raised in America. I'm also Akane Tendo's cousin."  
The brunette stepped forward. She had long hair with a cute   
white ribbon on top. Her brown eyes seemed to lock onto Ranma, "Hello,   
my name is Ukyou Kuonji. I'm also seventeen years old. I was born in   
Hokkaido, but we moved to Nerima just last week."  
The other blonde girl stepped forward, "Uh, hi. I'm Sabrina   
Spellman. I'm from America and I came here on the foreign exchange   
program. I'm sixteen."  
"Very well, why don't you three choose your seats." Mr Kawashima   
told them, "And Miss Spellman, you should go to our school store to get   
a uniform before the week is over."  
"Gotcha." Sabrina replied.  
Mr. Kawashima noted where the three students sat down. Ukyou sat   
down to the left of Ranma Saotome, Cerl and Sabrina sat down in the   
back row, nearest to the windows.  
"And Akane handed me this note from her doctor at the start of   
class. It seems that she recently suffered light amnesia and cannot   
recall the events of the past few months. Everyone, please do your   
best to help her in her studies and not to pressure her to remember   
anything recent. But Miss Tendo also doesn't want pity and she isn't   
physically incapacitated." Mr. Kawashima announced.  
The class looked at Akane with worry. They were sincerely hoping   
that she didn't revert to the way she had been before her change. They   
were beginning to like the calm and quiet.  
  
Sabrina found herself a bit lost on some of the subjects.   
Calculus was a bit harder than Geometry back home. And she had no clue   
as to what most of the Ancient Japanese course was about, as her   
translation spell allowed her to understand both current and ancient   
japanese perfectly. Luckily, she wasn't the only American able to   
breeze through English.  
When lunch break came, Sabrina turned to her fellow american,   
hoping to start up a friendship with someone who was from outside the   
country, "Hi, I'm Sabrina."  
"Cerl." Cerl answered.  
"Um, so what brings you to Japan?" Sabrina inquired.  
"An airplane." Cerl responded, smiling.  
Sabrina blinked in surprise, then laughed, "I guess I'm a bit   
nervous."  
"Don't worry about it. I was nervous at first too. Some of the   
things will become intuitive once you get the hang of it." Cerl   
explained, "Come on, I'll show you around school."  
"But, aren't you new?" Sabrina asked.  
"Oh, my cousin showed me around school after hours a few months   
ago." Cerl responded.  
"Really?" Sabrina inquired, glancing at Akane, who was looking at   
Sabrina with enough venom to kill a thousand snakes.  
"I've got another cousin, Nabiki. She's a junior." Cerl   
explained.  
Sabrina nodded, "That's good, because I don't think your other   
cousin likes you."  
"Oh, she's just mad because I broke up her morning exercise   
routine." Cerl responded as they began to leave the room.  
"Morning routine?" Sabrina asked as they left the room.  
"You saw that fight that broke out in front of school today?"   
Cerl inquired.  
"Yeah, a bunch of guys got beaten up by your cousin." Sabrina   
replied.  
"Well, my cousin used to be the most popular girl in school, so   
much so that all the guys wanted to date her. An upperclassman tried   
to help out by announcing that the only guys who could ask her out had   
to be able to defeat her in a fight. It backfired and a much larger   
group of guys attacked her every morning. But I helped break it all   
up. The group you saw today is about a tenth of what it used to be."   
Cerl explained.  
"So, how many dates did she wind up going on?" Sabrina inquired.  
"Zero." Cerl answered.  
Sabrina stared at Cerl, waiting for the other girl to break out   
in a smile and say, "Just kidding."  
When the smile didn't come and instead Cerl began showing her the   
science labs, Sabrina realized that Cerl wasn't joking.  
Meanwhile, back in the classroom, Yuka and Sayuri approached   
Akane hesitantly, "Hey, Akane. Why were you glaring at your cousin?"  
"I was making sure she wasn't going to do anything weird. She   
got kicked out of six other schools, you know, and she's a complete   
pervert." Akane huffed.  
Yuka and Sayuri exchanged looks. It was very uncomfortable for   
them to see Akane seriously bad-mouthing a family member, especially   
after she'd been so nice the last few months.  
"Um, why don't we got eat under the big tree behind the school?"   
Yuka suggested.  
"Good idea." Akane agreed.  
Also in the same classroom, a small reunion was taking place no   
more two or feet from Akane.  
"Ranchan?" Ukyou inquired.  
"Hey, Ucchan. You should've told me you were coming. I had a   
phone number and address on that envelope, you know." Ranma told his   
friend, doing his level best not to glare daggers at Akane for glaring   
daggers at Cerl.  
"I know, but I wanted to surprise you." Ukyou responded.  
"Come on, let's go to the roof. We gotta lot of stuff to catch   
up on." Ranma suggested.  
Ukyou nodded, grabbed her lunch and followed Ranma to the roof.  
  
Saturday came slowly. For everyone who was glad that Akane had   
calmed down, it was like a bad dream to see Akane revert to her violent   
ways. As Ms. Koshima, the Home Ec instructor, was forced to throw away   
the pot which Akane had used to try and make soup, it became very   
apparent that the old Akane was back with full force.  
The girls of Class 1-E were gathered in an unused linguistics   
room while Akane, Cerl and Sabrina cleaned up the mess in the Home Ec   
room.  
Yuka sighed, "I really wish Akane hadn't gotten amnesia."  
Sayuri nodded, "I know. I'd swear that she's actually gotten   
worse than she was before."  
Another girl with brown hair tied back into a ponytail, Moemi,   
agreed, "Yeah, and can you believe the awful things she's been saying   
about her cousin? Even if it were true, I'd never want people to know   
about what bad things a cousin of mine had done."  
A black haired girl, Shiori, spoke up, "Actually, Cerl's pretty   
nice. Almost as nice as Akane was last Saturday."  
Sayuri bolted upright, "Hey, wait a minute!"  
"What?" Yuka inquired.  
"I just thought of something." Sayuri declared, "Cerl is as nice   
as Akane has been in the last few months, right?"  
The girls nodded.  
"And Akane is as bad as she was just before she became real nice,   
right?"  
Again, the girls nodded.  
"What if Akane didn't have light amnesia, but full amnesia and   
they had Cerl pose as her?" Sayuri proposed.  
"Huh?" Yuka asked.  
"That's impossible." Moemi responded.  
"Just listen to me." Sayuri requested, "They're about the same   
size, right? Even their hair is close to the same length. We probably   
wouldn't have even noticed."  
"Yeah, she told me that she was borrowing one of Akane's   
outfits." Shiori spoke up, "And actually, I remember that she walked to   
Akane's locker the first day of gym and opened the combination lock   
like she'd done it all her life."  
"Why would Akane tell the cousin she hates her locker number or   
even the combination numbers?" Moemi pondered aloud, provoking even   
more realizations.  
"Their eye colors are the same." Ukyou commented.  
"And Cerl knew the school's layout without being shown around.   
Even if she was shown around once, all new students get lost once or   
twice. But she was showing Spellman around like she'd been here for a   
while." Shiori noted.  
"I remember Cerl talking about breaking up the morning horde."   
Yuka commented.  
"And it would explain why neither Nabiki nor Akane mentioned Cerl   
before she arrived at school. They probably didn't know when Akane's   
memory might come back." yet another girl joined in.  
"Ranma is as close to Cerl as he used to be to Akane." Shiori   
continued.  
"Okay, I can understand why the Tendo family would want to keep   
Akane's amnesia quiet and I believe it's possible. But if Cerl was   
standing in for Akane, why would Akane bad-mouth her so much? I mean,   
Cerl did her a huge favor by standing in for her." Moemi asked.  
The girls fell silent, before a dark-haired girl, Maho, spoke up,   
"Maybe Akane liked being the center of attention." The attention of the   
class turned to Maho, "She says she hates boys, but she never really   
went out of her way to make the same kind of public announcement that   
Tatewaki did."  
Everyone shifted uncomfortably as Maho continued, "Think about   
it. Akane's been the star of our school for so long. The boys weren't   
even going all out and she thought she was the best fighter this school   
had to offer. But, she also had their complete attention. Very few   
girls could get a date in this school when she was always taking on the   
horde, and those that did were usually seen with her."  
Yuka winced. She'd taken advantage of Akane's popularity to get   
a few dates. She decided to speak up to keep herself from getting   
targeted with the growing sense of animosity, "But even those dates   
were boring, because the guys only wanted to talk about Akane."  
An angry murmur spread throughout the class.  
"Then, Cerl came in, posing as Akane. She doesn't know that   
Akane has deliberately captivated the attention of the whole school.   
She's got a bad record and she doesn't want that attention or scrutiny,   
so she breaks up Akane's little attention monopoly. Akane regains her   
memory, but when Cerl proudly tells her about what she's done for her   
cousin, Akane goes ballistic." Maho reasoned, "However, for some   
reason, whether it's family honor or pure skill, she can't just beat up   
Cerl. So, what's the best way to hurt Cerl's feelings and drive her   
away?"  
The girls were silent.  
"Get the entire school to hate Cerl as much as Akane does. If we   
all hated Cerl and made her life a living hell, she'd ask to be   
transfered to another school." Maho finished.  
Ukyou stood up, "I hate people who do that sort of thing!"  
Ready agreements followed.  
"But hold on." Maho interupted, "Until we confirm all this, it's   
still speculation. As right as we may be, we still have to get the   
final truth from someone who knows."  
"Doctor Tofu or Ranma might know." Yuka suggested.  
"But they probably don't want to get involved. Remember, it was   
probably for the sake of family honor. Same with Kasumi and Soun."   
Sayuri responded.  
"Nabiki won't sell that sort of information, especially since it   
might damage her reputation." Yuka agreed.  
"And we've seen, from the way she doesn't fight back or even   
argue with Akane, that Cerl's too kind-hearted or in too bad of a   
position to think of taking on her cousin, even indirectly." Moemi   
spoke up.  
"Then we have to get it from the horse's mouth, so to speak."   
Maho declared.  
  
"This is all your fault." Akane stated firmly as she continued   
scrubbing the floor.  
"And just how in the world do you get THAT conclusion? I wasn't   
even on the same side of the room as you." Cerl responded, "In fact,   
I'm cleaning this up out of the combined goodness of my heart and my   
sense of loyalty to the teacher, not for you." Cerl responded.  
Sabrina continued scrubbing, silently agreeing with Cerl. Akane   
had been shooting insults, spreading rumors and blaming accidents on   
Cerl all week with no provocation. If she weren't related to a good   
friend, Sabrina would have opened her Big Book Of Nasty Curses and used   
half of the index on Akane by now.  
"You were distracting me from cooking." Akane growled.  
"Most sane people can tell the difference between a salt shaker   
and a bottle of Mekimeki Whiz-Bang liquid dishwashing fluid without   
looking." Cerl replied.  
"That's it! You can clean this up yourself, you perverted   
freak!" Akane declared, throwing her scrub brush into her bucket,   
grabbing her pre-made bento and storming out of the room.  
"Why do you put up with that?" Sabrina inquired.  
"Because to her, I am an intruder to her perfect little world. I   
show her that she is not the end-all and be-all of everything and she   
just can't accept that. I've done what I can to prove to her that she   
is not, and now, it's up to time to get it through her thick skull that   
she needs to change her ways." Cerl explained.  
"Still, you don't need to take that sort of verbal abuse."   
Sabrina suggested.  
"I have to be able to take it. It would cause even further   
strain on the family I'm living with to 'take out the trash', so to   
speak." Cerl explained.  
"You know, maybe a little curse would teach her a lesson. I've   
got an aunt who knows some voodoo and she says it's worked for her."   
Sabrina offered.  
"It's nice of you to offer, but I believe that time will answer   
this problem. It may take a lot of answering, but it has to be done or   
else, she'll never truly change for the better." Cerl declared.  
  
Akane entered the linguistics classroom and sat down, closing her   
eyes as she folded her arms across her chest.  
"I can't believe my cousin. She's such a pest." Akane declared.  
"Because she posed as you for the last few months?" came a   
somewhat angry inquiry.  
"That too, but-" Akane stopped and opened her eyes as she   
realized her slip.  
Then, she looked around. The girls of the classroom were all   
glaring at her. It wasn't like the look of annoyance that her family   
or Ranma had directed at her for bad-mouthing Cerl. It was a look of   
anger and distrust.  
"So, it's true." Sayuri declared.  
Akane tried to think of a cover up, but the looks on the faces of   
the girls told her that anything she said would be scrutinized heavily,   
if not completely disbelieved.  
"Your cousin did you a huge favor by making sure that you did not   
fall behind in school, that no one forgot about you, that no one knew   
about your amnesia." Shiori declared, then Moemi joined in, "She   
trained to take on St. Hebereke's undefeated captain in rhythmic   
gymnastics, improved your grades and even got rid of the morning horde   
for you."  
Akane's face turned pale as one of her worst fears came true.   
The last line of defense she had against Cerl, her friends and   
classmates, had turned to her "cousin"'s side.  
"But you didn't like that last part, did you?" Maho asked   
rhetorically, "You couldn't stand to lose the attention of all those   
guys."  
Yuka spoke up, "But it's always been you that's the problem,   
Akane. Very few girls could get dates with all the guys hounding after   
you, and even those fortunate to land a date were still miserable   
because the guys only wanted to know about you or discuss how great you   
were."  
"But Cerl's better than you, isn't she? She's a better martial   
artist, much nicer, more patient, friendlier, better at school. She   
just has a bad record. You knew you couldn't beat her, so you've been   
bad-mouthing her and trying to set us against her so that you could   
drive her out." Maho reasoned.  
Akane looked around, hoping for someone to help her, but no one   
was on her side. Even her former best friends were looking like she   
was their greatest enemy. She couldn't even try to correct their   
error, that she didn't like any of the guys who chased her, least of   
all, their attention.  
Maho spoke, but for Akane, it sounded like a judge might when   
sentencing someone to death, "Well, we aren't going to fall for it.   
We're all too mature to do something like the silent treatment, so we   
won't ignore you. But we aren't going to be listening to you anymore."  
With that, they left Akane sitting in the room all alone.   
Emotions raced through Akane's mind. She was now hated by her   
classmates, removed from the status of heir by her father, disapproved   
of by her family, disliked by a fiancee and his father, and in her   
place was a hoax. A false her.  
Akane locked onto the only emotion she knew best of all.  
  
Sabrina and Cerl stepped out of the Home Ec classroom with Ms.   
Koshima.  
"I'm very disappointed in Akane. Even if she doesn't like you,   
that's no reason for her to leave her duty. I'd assigned HER to do the   
clean up." Ms. Koshima sighed, before turning to her two foreign   
exchange students, "But thank you two so much for cleaning up. I'm   
very proud of the fact that both of you continued working even though   
it was not your responsibility."  
"It was nothing." Sabrina responded, beaming with pride.  
"A Tendo made the mess, so a Tendo should clean it up." Cerl   
declared.  
"Mah, you're so mature. I wouldn't be surprised if you got   
proposals all the time." Ms. Koshima teased Cerl.  
"RAAAAAGGGGH!" came a roar from down the hallway, interupting   
Cerl's response and keeping Ms. Koshima and Sabrina from seeing the   
nauesated look on Cerl's face at the thought of the type of   
'proposals' she would get.  
The trio turned to see Akane storming down the hall. She was   
locked onto Cerl's form like a heat-seeking missile. However, Akane   
was dressed in a formal Tendo School dougi rather than her Furinakan   
school uniform, or even her wornout practice dougi.  
"Miss Tendo! I've had just about enough-" Ms. Koshima began,   
stepping in front of Akane's path.  
"Ms. Koshima, I think you and Sabrina had best stay out of her   
way. She looks quite angry and there's no need to bring dishonor to   
our family by causing you two undue injury." Cerl suggested, gently   
pushing Ms. Koshima behind her.  
"Um, right." Ms. Koshima agreed, recalling that Akane was a   
martial artist while she herself knew only the very basics of self-  
defense. It would be like stopping water from a high-pressure firehose   
with a cheap kleenex that was already soggy and torn.  
Cerl watched Akane march up to her with complete apathy. As   
Akane brought her nose within inches of Cerl's, she locked eyes with   
the older girl.  
"Something bothering you, Akane?" Cerl inquired.  
"Duel. Soccer field. Ten minutes. We settle this ONCE AND FOR   
ALL." Akane declared, before turning and marching away.  
"At least there's no pressure." Cerl commented.  
"This is bad, Cerl! She doesn't look like she was to fight, she   
looked ready to kill!" Sabrina commented.  
"Then I'll have to mock her thoroughly. To my gym locker!   
AWAY!" Cerl declared, hurrying off.  
"Is this normal?" Sabrina asked Ms. Koshima.  
"The challenge? Yes. The reaction? Not a chance in the nine   
hells." Ms. Koshima responded.  
Both women stared down the now-vacant hallway. And worried.  
  
Among famous criminal organizations, none were more famous,   
criminal or organized than Shadowloo, the oft-taunted but-rarely-  
successfully-invaded micro-empire that had claimed part of Thailand for   
it's own purposes.  
And leading that organization was a man said to be over sixty   
years old, Montgomery Bison. However, since Bison hated the name   
Montgomery (which incorrectly hinted that he had something to do with   
the store chain) and the shortened version Monty (which implied that he   
was a male stripper or prostitute of some kind), the criminal lord had   
shortened the name to M (though, now, he was mistakenly thought to be   
the father of Eminem, which was a perplexing quandry for both the crime   
lord and the rapper).  
Besides being a full-time criminal overlord who had managed to   
create his own country, M. Bison was also a politician, which was   
consequently added to the list of charges against him and raised the   
lowest sentence possible for him from Life with 20(^20) years to Death.   
As such, he was forced to deal with varying negotiators and other crime   
lords, who sought deals and/or treaties.  
Ordinarily, those that truly annoyed him were captured,   
brainwashed, then sent back to spy on their own groups for Shadowloo or   
simply killed. Sometimes, when they were arrogant, M. Bison would   
shoot them out of a circus cannon to land painfully at the edge of   
Shadowloo's territory.  
However, there were always the exceptions. When they were calm   
and collected, yet radiated strong will, M. Bison would hear them out   
on a lark. When such people appeared before him, M. Bison was rarely   
disappointed in them and often times agreed to whatever deal they   
presented.  
M. Bison, though, was also a man, so most women whom he found   
moderately attractive got to skip most of the bullshit and were lucky   
enough for M. Bison to listen to whatever they had to say, even if they   
sometimes had to sit on his lap to speak to him.  
This particular visitor was very intriguing, but very powerful.   
Thus, she was not sitting on M. Bison's lap. And he HAD tried to   
insist. He was assured that his men would revert from their current   
state to their original form once the visitor left, give or take an   
hour.  
M. Bison did not like the concept of magic. Especially the kind   
that could be used so easily and effectively with no possible way to   
counter. Part of the reason was that there was no way to counter, but   
mostly, it had to do with the fact that he'd worked long and hard to   
get all of the powers that he possessed from ancient tapestries and   
such and a power that could render him into a pig (like Sagat and   
Birdie had suffered) or a toad (like Vega and three of his elite   
guard).  
However, his visitor was offering him the same power that had   
disabled most of his trusted staff. That, M. Bison decided, was well   
worth dealing with someone who had so rudely transformed his minions.   
He just didn't like the current negotiation stance his visitor had   
chosen, which was "I hold all the cards, so kiss up and I might spare   
you a savage beating or worse."  
That was, M. Bison felt, usually HIS position by default.  
He didn't like being on the receiving end of such an attitude.  
"Very well, I shall spare as many as I can and we will supply   
your mistress, Ihadurca, with fresh units as often as we can." M. Bison   
agreed.  
"You are fairly wise, Bison, even though you are named after a   
brainless herd animal and you are of the unfortunate XY chromosome   
pairing." his visitor responded softly in a voice that M. Bison could   
not place a gender to if his life depended on it.  
M. Bison reigned in his anger. Even killing the messenger was   
not an option in this case. His visitor stood, their all-concealing   
cloak encompassing their body entirely.  
"Next time, I look forward to meeting you in person." the visitor   
told him, before vanishing a blur of upward moving speed lines.  
M. Bison relaxed, feeling his full age of sixty-seven and then   
another quarter century. He unclenched his teeth and stood. As he   
swept out of the room, he had to wonder: Just how the hell had Ihadurca   
found out about his Doll Program and why was she more interested in it   
than he was?  
  
The entire school had turned out for the fight. The faculty knew   
that if Akane Tendo wanted a fight, she would get it. Tatewaki had   
even turned out for the fight, a rare instance as he usually preferred   
to head directly home after the kendo team finished practice, even   
prior to the body-swap.  
The unsettling part was that Nabiki wasn't allowing any betting,   
which was nearly the exact opposite of how she had been before Cerl had   
posed as Akane. That particular story had already spread around the   
school and was being neither confirmed nor denied by any of the Tendos   
or Ranma.  
Cologne and Shampoo sat next to Sabrina and Ukyou. Ranma,   
Tatewaki and Nabiki stood nearby. Tatewaki stood simply because he   
preferred standing, but both Ranma and Nabiki were too nervous to sit.  
"Who do you think will win?" Nabiki asked.  
"I honestly don't know. Akane isn't anywhere near Cerl's level   
normally, but... I've seen her this mad before, but it was never this   
controlled... I mean your actual sister, not Cerl." Ranma responded.  
Akane stood in the middle of the soccer field, doing her level   
best to control herself as she waited.  
Then, Cerl arrived on the field.  
"What's with that outfit?" Akane demanded.  
"Hey, you took our family school's dougi. So, I decided to wear   
our school's version of a dougi." Cerl responded, before posing cutely   
in the school's female gym uniform of white shirt and red short-shorts.  
"You disgusting-" Akane began, fuming at insult.  
Cerl interupted, pointing a finger at Akane, "Grow up, Akane! We   
both let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. I'm mature enough to   
accept it and move on, but you aren't. That's why you've been having   
trouble. Everything would have been different if you'd accepted that   
things change and grown even a little bit from the unique experience   
you were given. But you didn't."  
Akane roared, "SHUT UP!"  
She charged Cerl, leaping high into the air. Just after Akane   
had altered her trajectory, Cerl tensed and hopped back three steps.   
Akane slammed into the ground where Cerl had been standing, cratering   
it.  
"Done?" Cerl inquired.  
"I haven't even started." Akane declared.  
"Well, you'd better or else Kasumi will be cleaning up after   
dinner before this fight starts." Cerl taunted, looking at her wrist as   
if looking at watch.  
Akane growled, launching at Cerl faster than Cerl had expected.   
Akane was still a few inches from connecting, but Cerl frowned.  
"Just how did you do that? You're nowhere near as good as I   
am." Cerl commented.  
"Let's just say that this fight will be completely different from   
the fight we had before." Akane declared, lunging at Cerl.  
Cerl narrowly leapt over Akane, this time by an even smaller   
margin than before.  
"You're right. Something IS different." Cerl commented, sniffing   
the air, "You smell like the attic. How long has it been since you   
wore that dougi? Did you remember moth balls to make sure no moths got   
to it? It'd be pretty embarrassing if it tore in half while you were-"  
"SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME FOR REAL!" Akane growled.  
Cerl skipped away more readily as Akane punched at her, putting a   
lot of distance between her and the youngest Tendo.  
"Akane is cheating somehow." Cologne declared.  
"How can you tell?" Ukyou asked.  
"Notice how her stance is slowly changing everytime she throws a   
punch. Her school's style is very open and loose, yet from even as   
little as I've seen her fight before, it is apparent that she does not   
acknowledge that normally. She has a set pattern of attack that she   
rarely sways from. Yet she continues to change her attack pattern in   
this battle. It is very unlike her." Cologne commented.  
Cerl blocked one of Akane's attacks for the first time and   
blinked at how much force was behind the strike. She'd been training   
much harder than Akane and thus, her strength should have been that   
much greater, as Akane's body was almost an entire year younger, weaker   
and slower. However, the strike she'd just blocked was close to the   
level of strength that Ryouga Hibiki had, but at the speed Ranma   
possessed.  
"And she keeps speeding up too." Ranma declared, "Cerl was   
dodging the attacks cleanly, but that margin is completely gone."  
Cerl swatted away strike after strike, "Okay, what's going on,   
Akane? There's no way in hell you should be THIS powerful or fast."  
Akane sneered at Cerl, pausing in her assault to answer, "Let's   
just say that I'm finally at your level. And I intend to pass it."  
Cerl's eyes narrowed, "The only way you could ever reach my level   
is if you had magic or drugs."  
Akane snarled and continued her attack.  
"She's using magic." Nabiki declared.  
"Huh?" came the inquiry from Ranma, Ukyou, Shampoo and Tatewaki.  
"What kind of magic?" Sabrina asked. She'd felt a twinge of   
magic in the area at the start of the fight, but now, Sabrina's magical   
senses felt Akane radiating magic like a compost heap radiated a   
powerful stench.  
"And how did she get it?" Cologne added.  
"I just remembered my father telling me, when I was about ten   
years old, about a magical dougi that he'd been given by an old man for   
helping him out against a bunch of thugs. He said it was made to look   
like our school's formal dougi. It was said to increase the wearer's   
martial ability tremendously, but I'd always thought it was just a   
joke. But, I also recalled that the dougi had many other abilities,   
such as the ability to change to fit it's wearer." Nabiki explained.  
As Cerl continued blocking each and every one of Akane's strikes,   
Ranma inquired, "And how do you know that's not just Akane's real   
formal dougi?"  
"Because she never got one. It's the custom of our school to   
have one made for a student when that student reaches master level."   
Nabiki answered, "And Akane never reached master level."  
"So, what does this mean for Cerl?" Ukyou inquired.  
"Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that   
Akane's potential is still lower than Cerl's. The bad news is that   
even if it is lower, Akane's skill and abilities are matching what Cerl   
is capable of right now." Cologne declared.  
"Shouldn't we stop the fight? I mean, Akane's cheating and we   
have evidence to support the fact." Sabrina inquired.  
"No, even if that were true, there are two reasons not to."   
Nabiki responded, "The first is that Cerl is still holding her own,   
despite Akane's magical dougi. And the second is that it might finally   
pound some sense into Akane's thick skull if she were to lose even   
wearing the magical dougi."  
"Well, Cerl's already working on the second part." Ranma noted.  
Cerl had shifted from defensive to counter-offensive, dodging and   
striking at the openings Akane left unguarded just after Akane had   
launched an attack. Unfortunately, it was like striking Ryouga. Akane   
seemed to shrug off hits that would have sent her to the ground bawling   
a week ago.  
"What drug are you on? Hmmm, can't be speed, you're not jittery   
enough. Can't be marijuana, you're too fast and your reflexes aren't   
diminished. Besides, you wouldn't be willing to fight. Not steroids,   
your reflexes or speed wouldn't have improved with that. Your nostrils   
aren't flared or irritating you into wiping it frequently, so I doubt   
it could be cocaine. Is it a specialty drug?" Cerl inquired.  
Akane growled angrily, "SHUT UP AND FIGHT!"  
Akane swung a meteor-style punch, slamming her fist into the   
ground where Cerl had been, just before she felt a slap on her ass.  
"Naughty Akane! I'll spank you more if you don't tell me what   
evil drugs you're on!" Cerl declared.  
"I'm not on drugs!" Akane growled.  
Cerl gave Akane the stink eye as she rubbed her chin   
thoughtfully, "I wouldn't be able to tell for the most part when it   
came to personality."  
"I'm wearing a magical dougi, smart ass!" Akane told her, then   
realized her mistake.  
"I was wondering when the hell you'd gotten an official school   
dougi." Cerl commented, "And now I can stop dodging and fight you for   
real."  
"Why you-! You mean you were deliberately avoiding fighting   
me?!" Akane growled.  
"Indeed. If you were hopped on a drug, all I had to do was   
outlast you. But now that I know you've got a magical dougi, I know my   
true opponent." Cerl responded.  
"True opponent?" Akane inquired, confused.  
"Yeah, the dougi." Cerl explained, confusing Akane further, "You   
aren't this good, so it must be increasing your skill level. So, in   
truth, I'm not fighting you, I'm fighting the dougi."   
Akane's confusion cleared with the obvious insult. She threw   
dirt into Cerl's face. Cerl raised her arms and closed her eyes to   
block the cheap trick, knowing that it left her open.  
"You _are_ fighting-" Akane snarled, dashing forward and slamming   
her knee into Cerl's stomach, "_ME_!"  
Akane tried to copy Cerl's favorite attack pattern by following   
up her knee with a horizontal axe-handle strike, but Cerl threw her   
head and torso backwards fast enough to dodge the strike completely.   
Cerl twisted as Akane was over-extended, and flipped, catching Akane   
under the chin with a reverse crescent kick.  
Cerl landed on her hands and knees, but Akane staggered away   
enough that Cerl returned to her feet and wiped the dirt from her face   
before Akane could recover. Cerl snorted, "You're forty years too   
young to catch ME off-guard with my own personal favorite, Akane. You   
should have known that I think of counters for every single combo that   
I develop."  
Akane growled and shifted into an aggressive stance while Cerl   
slid into a defensive pose.  
"Dammit! STAND STILL!" Akane roared, launching forward with a   
flurry of punches.  
"Why? Because you think I'm like those bricks you smash and that   
I'll break and go away the instant you hit me? I'm not like the boys   
you abused every day, Akane. I don't intend to take your abuse or   
tolerate your cheap shots during a duel of honor." Cerl snapped back,   
sliding past Akane as the dark-haired girl overextended herself and   
elbowing Akane in the middle of the back.  
Akane staggered forward and then spun to face Cerl.  
"I didn't abuse anyone!" Akane shrieked.  
"Oh? In one day, I dismantled over HALF of your daily fight. If   
you'd tried, you could have done the same. But, no. You liked hurting   
those boys, didn't you? I added salt to the wound on your pride by   
cutting your little sadistic beating sessions down, didn't I? So, you   
tried to attack me with words." Cerl responded.  
Akane launched a high kick at Cerl's face, but Cerl caught her   
leg and held it, "But you chose the wrong ones. That's the problem   
with lies, Akane. If there's nothing to base them on or if they're   
unfounded, the truth is eventually found out. And you fear the truth,   
don't you? That you're just a selfish, ungrateful little brat, just   
like you were at age six! Your body has matured over the years, but   
your mind didn't!"  
Akane spun, twisting her other leg to strike at Cerl, but the   
blonde dodged. She let go of Akane's trapped leg to avoid dislocating   
her younger sister's leg from the socket. She knew how painful   
dislocations could be. As much of a little brat as Akane was, there   
was no need to cause that kind of damage.  
"It hurts, doesn't it? That the one telling the truth is someone   
you can't beat. That you are no longer the heir to the school is   
because you can't control yourself. That your friends and classmates   
don't like you because you can't be truthful. That the reason you've   
really lost everything is because you can't grow up." Cerl asked   
rhetorically.  
Akane screamed in fury and attacked Cerl with everything she   
could. Cerl blocked every punch, sending Akane's arm wide every single   
time; she dodged every kick. After uncounted punches and kicks, Akane   
advancing and Cerl retreating every time, Akane had yet to land a   
strike and Cerl decided that it was time to finish the fight.  
Akane was continuing forward when Cerl launched a snap-front kick   
to Akane's stomach, forcing Akane to double over. Cerl sighed as she   
kneed Akane in the forehead while Akane's arms clutched her stomach.   
The youngest Tendo had the strength of Ryouga and the speed of Ranma,   
but there was no real boost in intelligence and the damage resistance   
from earlier had vanished.  
"Why don't-" Cerl began.  
Akane clutched her face, not even realizing the setup she was now   
in. Cerl swept Akane's feet out from underneath her, then slid under   
Akane's falling body and slammed a rising knee into Akane's back.  
"-you just-" Cerl continued  
Akane grunted and her arms went wide as Cerl used a double-handed   
axe-handle strike to send Akane into the ground.  
"GROW UP?!" Cerl finished as Akane hit the ground, her eyes   
clenched in pain for a few seconds before she lay limp on the ground.  
Then, Akane's eyes opened. With one smooth motion, she stood up.   
She didn't even look injured.  
"Aw, come on..." Cerl grumbled, tired of opponents who refused to   
stay where she put them. First Ryouga, now Akane.  
"I am afraid, young lady," Akane began in a more mature voice,   
"That this fight is not over."  
The entire school was baffled at the change of attitude on   
Akane's part. Cerl, however, was not. It didn't take much to figure   
out that the magical dougi had taken over when Akane had fallen   
unconscious.  
"You must be the spirit of the dougi." Cerl commented.  
"Indeed I am." The spirit responded through Akane's mouth,   
"You've proven yourself an admirable foe. However, I am afraid that   
Akane painted a much different picture of you when I agreed to aid her   
in defeating you and thus, I must help her until this battle is   
through."  
"A very noble sentiment. One must at least hold to one's   
promises unless they go against one's personal code." Cerl agreed.  
The spirit nodded. Akane's body darted forward and Cerl was hard   
pressed to block the fast punch.  
"This young lady could well be your equal with the right   
training." the spirit declared, launching a snap kick.  
Cerl blocked the strike, but was catapulted ten feet away. She   
landed feet first, skidding along the dry ground, "You mean, with the   
right temperament. And indeed, I agree. However, she has thrown that   
opportunity away countless times, spirit of the dougi."  
"....." the spirit responded, before charging and punching at   
Cerl.  
Cerl leapt backwards.  
"Of course, it's unfair to you to be forcefully involved in what   
is essentially a family feud." Cerl continued, before inquiring,   
"Besides, what in the world is the purpose of giving a master-level   
fighter a magical dougi?"  
The spirit launched Akane's body at Cerl with a flying kick,   
forcing the blonde Tendo to backflip up the incline towards the forest,   
"I was made to aid students in emergencies, to increase the abilities   
of powerful fighters when terrorized by forces beyond what they could   
handle, and to aid aging fighters who'd developed illnesses that   
rendered much of their mobility reduced."  
"Ah. That's actually quite smart. Too bad there wasn't a safety   
on virtuous intent or something similar." Cerl commented.  
Suddenly, Akane's eyes and posture changed, "What are you   
doing?!"  
"I was simply speaking with your opponent. Just because she is   
your enemy does not mean that-" the spirit began before Akane   
interupted herself, "Just shut up and help me!"  
"Not exactly a martial artist of honor, eh, spirit?" Cerl   
inquired.  
"Stop trying to cheat!" Akane snapped.  
"ME? I'm not the one wearing a magic suit designed to super-  
charge martial artists or flinging dirt to get an opening." Cerl   
huffed.  
Akane charged up the hill towards Cerl, who backflipped into the   
forest, "You can't beat me in the open, so let's see if the forest is   
more to your liking."  
"Fine by me!" Akane responded.  
"What's Cerl thinking?" Ranma inquired.  
"She's obviously trying to exhuast Akane." Cologne commented.  
"But Akane hasn't slowed down a bit." Ranma noted.  
"Yes, not noticeably, but she has slowed. However, it should be   
clear to Cerl that the dougi grants Akane not only increased physical   
abilities, but also an additional wind, in the form of the spirit of   
the dougi. Cerl must exhaust and defeat two people, not one." Cologne   
noted.  
"So, it's not a good strategy?" Sabrina inquired, not really   
following most of the martial arts stuff.  
"It's an unwise choice. Even if Akane is beaten, the spirit can   
utilize the full power of her enhanced abilities, while Akane is only   
managing half. It would be better to simply strike Akane until both   
she and the spirit were unconscious." Cologne noted.  
"But if she did that, wouldn't she wind up seriously hurting   
Akane?" Sabrina asked, startling Cologne and Ranma, who turned to stare   
the american girl, "I mean, the spirit is only boosting her and   
restoring her strength, it's not really there to take that punishment,   
right? So, wouldn't... um, nevermind..."  
"That must be it." Cologne declared, "Cerl knows that in order to   
defeat Akane through the faster method, it would likely leave permanent   
damage."  
"And she's been avoiding that the entire battle. She could've   
broken Akana's nose with that knee strike earlier, but she chose the   
forehead instead. And she could've dislocated Akane's leg before that   
by holding it tight, but she decided to let go." Ranma agreed.  
"So, I'm right? Cool." Sabrina commented aloud to herself,   
before realizing something, "But what if Akane's endurance is higher?"  
"It won't matter while Akane is in control. Defense is almost   
always easier because you aren't using as much energy. Akane, however,   
is burning her strength up by attacking as relentlessly as she can."   
Cologne explained, "Even the most fuel efficient car will run out of   
gas eventually. And, using that as a basis for a metaphor, Akane is   
the most wasteful car on the road."  
Cerl was frowning as she dodged another jump kick. Akane would   
have been beyond exhuasted normally. Just how much did that dougi   
boost her endurance? They'd done six circuits around the forest   
already, ranging from zig-zag through the trees to circling the entire   
forest and Akane had been attacking nearly constantly.  
Both girls were sweating, but neither had slowed much in their   
game of combat tag. Cerl made a sidenote to herself to write up some   
rules for an official game of combat tag while considering the problem   
at hand. She then rolled out of the way as Akane launched a kick at   
her.  
As a branch was severed from a nearby tree, it became obvious to   
Cerl that outlasting Akane was becoming too dangerous of a plan to   
stick to. Akane was gaining more abilities as time passed and if she   
already had a vacuum blade down, then the fight had to end before Cerl   
lost more than just the battle.  
As it stood, there was a good chance for her to lose while Akane   
wore the dougi and the chances for winning improved for Akane every   
minute.  
Then, a plan came to her.  
It was a dangerous gambit, but if she could somehow removed even   
part of the dougi, Akane might have her abilities reduced, which would   
reveal how exhuasted she truly was and could weaken the dark-haired   
girl enough to allow Cerl to defeat her without waking the spirit of   
the dougi to take Akane's place.  
The reason it was dangerous was that A) she didn't know if the   
dougi was tearable or not and losing it would be rather bad, B) she   
didn't know if the dougi had a magical defense against being removed   
and C) it would make her look like a pervert if she was caught trying   
to remove her "cousin's" clothes, as she wasn't sure how many people   
had heard Akane talk about the magical dougi or would believe that a   
dougi could be magical.  
First, it would require getting Akane into a pattern that would   
get her to keep her arms down and to get her to stop using those damn   
vacuum blades, the latter meaning that she would have to provoke Akane   
into close quarter combat.  
They reached the edge of the forest nearest to the soccer field   
they'd been in minutes ago. Cerl landed quickly and doubled back to   
the first tree she came to. Akane landed and spun to face Cerl, who   
was sticking her tongue out at Akane.  
"NYAH! You couldn't hurt me with one of your jump kicks if you   
tried!" Cerl taunted.  
"WHY YOU-!" Akane snarled, leaping at Cerl.  
Cerl ducked and rolled as Akane lashed out at the tree.  
Then, Cerl realized that Akane had used a particularly strong   
vacuum blade in that kick and the angle had been upward. Akane landed,   
but the tree above the line of the cut began descending toward her.  
[YOU IDIOT! You couldn't have just thrown a normal jump kick,   
could you?] Cerl thought to herself as she lunged for Akane, who was   
frozen in place.  
"LOOK OUT!" Cerl cried, shoving Akane out of the way.  
The tree caught Cerl in the mid-back, canceling most of her   
forward momentum and hurting quite a bit. Cerl hit the ground,   
followed by the severed portion of the tree, which pinned her legs.   
Cerl felt a very quiet, but unpleasant noise from her right femur as   
the tree settled into place on top of her.  
Cerl winced as the pain from her back and her legs rang into her   
brain like loud sirens.  
Then she looked up to see Akane standing in front of her.  
Cerl smiled at her biological sibling, "Well, Akane, you wanted   
me to stay still and here I am. I can't even block, so if you wanted   
to finish me off, I'm in no position to stop you."  
Akane looked down at Cerl. And for the first time since her   
first wish, Akane Tendo was lost in thought.  
It was a well-known fact that Akane Tendo had a temper. That   
temper was fueled by a voice inside of her that told her that if   
something went wrong, it was someone else's fault. This mistaken ideal   
was born of a memory back in childhood.  
Akane's mother had been fatally injured saving Akane when she'd   
tried to cross the street. A few of her classmates had seen it and   
told Akane that it was her fault that her mother had died. It was the   
truth, but it was brutal to a mind so young.  
Her mother's last words to her were meant to be comforting. "It   
wasn't your fault." Her mother could never have known the damage   
saying that had caused. Akane knew that those words, spoken to her by   
her own beloved and trusted mother, were false.  
Guilt can be a very poisonous demon. Akane had always felt   
guilty that it had been her mistake. In an effort to prevent herself   
from breaking down, her mind had made those comforting words into a   
mantra that she believed. Unfortunately, the mantra had to be so   
strong that it became like self-hypnosis.  
Guilt had twisted those words into complete denial of   
responsibility. If something went wrong, her mantra kicked in and she   
wasn't at fault.  
However, there was another memory, more powerful than that one.   
She had gotten into a fight with a boy who said that all girls were   
weak and stupid. Akane had beaten the boy black and blue, then tried   
to go further, but her mother had been there to stop her.  
"Akane, even if he said those things, you should never hit a   
person when they're down. It's not honorable."  
"On-ner-a-bul?" Akane asked.  
"Yes, Akane. Honor is what separates the good people from the   
bad people. You should always strive to be honorable. We'll see him   
to the doctor and then we'll apologize to him and his family."  
"Why?" Akane inquired.  
"Because honorable people don't hit other people just because   
they say things that we don't like. Okay?"  
"Okay mommy!" Akane agreed.  
Akane had never known her mother long, but she cherished her   
mother above all else. The lessons on honor were often ignored, but   
never forgotten.  
Akane looked at her magical dougi, then at Cerl, then at everyone   
watching, then back at Cerl, as if confused and looking for an answer.   
People had always given her the answer in situations like this. It was   
confusing and disorienting to have to figure something out on her own.  
No longer shut away, memories came to war against each other.  
Guilt battled honor.  
Honor battled guilt.  
In her mind's eye, she'd always seen the situation as the   
opposite of what it was now, Cerl being the one with all of the power,   
sneering down at Akane pinned helplessly to the ground. And Akane had   
nothing.  
Cerl had been a monster in her mind's eye.  
Akane realized that now that the situation was in reverse, that   
it was she who was truly a monster.  
Finally, Akane reached down and grabbed the tree. She lifted it   
up and threw it away from Cerl and everyone else. It landed deep in   
the forest, only pressing down the plants on the forest floor.  
"I'm sorry." Akane whispered, tears running down her face as she   
fell to her knees.  
Cerl looked at her crying sister and sighed. Apparently, even if   
it was by accident, Akane had matured. She was no longer the whiny   
brat that she had been and thus, Cerl felt she had to comfort her   
sister.  
"It's okay, Akane." Cerl told her, placing a hand on her sister's   
shoulder. Akane hugged her adopted sister and cried into her shoulder.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
"I've been haunted by werewolves, bitten by ghosts and slapped by   
vampires. I think I deserve that hotdog." - Grim & Evil  
  
"No one's going to give you a map. You've got to walk your own path." - Hot Ice Hilda, Outlaw Star, final episode  
  
Chapter 6, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
The sacrifices made!  
A tournament starts!  
All this and some more crazies!  
  
Explanations!  
School in Japan operates differently. The most some americans   
know is that they go by rotating four month segments between four   
different divisions. It would look like so:  
1 2 3 O  
O 2 3 4  
1 O 3 4  
1 2 O 4  
The "O"s stand for a class getting a month off while the numbers   
indicate a class is in school for a month. So, technically speaking,   
only three classes are going to school at the same time.  
Another thing most Americans don't know about is that Saturday   
isn't a day off, but it's not a full school day, either. It's a half-  
day of school.  
There's also Make Up day for high schools, which occurs shortly   
after an Exam day. Students who failed a test go to school to re-take   
the tests, while students who passed their exams can take the day off.   
I'm unsure about this, but I _think_ a student can go to Make Up day to   
try and raise a test score by re-taking the exam.  
I'm unsure what the school systems would do about snow days.  
Students purchase school supplies from stores that specialize in   
them. It's acceptable for a student to wear a former school uniform or   
even a casual outfit when there aren't any uniform that fit them, but   
only in those cases. Ranma doesn't wear one.  
Wearing the winter skirt year round is a sign of a delinquent.   
Cerl has taken to wearing one, just like Makoto Kino.  
  
Has anyone stopped to consider that Akane is probably resented at   
the beginning of the series? Or pondered the fact that dating would be   
nearly impossible for other girls unless they were friends with Akane?  
  
Americans are sometimes shunned by students because of the fact   
that they are 'gaijin' or outsiders. However, Furinkan has enough   
misfits that a nice enough person, regardless of their origin country,   
is accepted with open arms. Strangely enough, Americans are often   
preferred as english teachers over Canadians and the British, which is   
why an American teacher isn't that uncommon in Japan.  
Black hair is almost universal in Japan, which is why so many   
main characters had black hair. The other favorite colors are blonde   
and then red.  
  
The Sailor Jupiter H-dojin featuring her with a penis... This is   
what I'd expect more of, given that Jupiter is the Roman name for Zeus,   
the biggest horndog of the greek pantheon (outside of Apollo (who's   
exploits aren't as well known) and Priapus (god of fertility)).  
The Meiou names on the book Setsuna is reading are meant to imply   
that each of those people has taken the place of Setsuna in alternate   
dimensions, not that they're all married. As kinky as that thought is,   
it's not what was intended.  
  
Gel is a creation I've toyed with for a long time. I wondered   
what would happen if you crossed one of those aggressive sex-obsessed   
girls from a classic H-manga or doujinshi with Mousse. The result is   
Gel, Mousse's twin sister and fellow master of hidden weapons.   
However, she's currently the master of hidden sex toys. Ain't it   
funny?! HUH?!  
  
Maho and Mr. Kawashima are from Kare Kano (His and Her   
Circumstances), which is a lot funnier than what I expected.  
I had to watch Episode 10 a few times to get a feel for how the   
stand off between the class and Akane should go.  
  
I don't know how the Battle Dougi truly works, so I cobbled   
together my own version of it. According to one summary that I read,   
it essentially boosts the wearer's martial potential to their limit.   
My version of it also super-charges the wearer and prevents the wearer   
from being slowed, crippled, poisoned or diseased by anything while it   
is still intact.  
Unfortunately, my version, as Cerl had mentally discerned, does   
lose most of it's powers if destroyed or removed by the wearer.   
Technically, Cerl and Akane are biologically the same person, so   
unknowingly, she is able to disrobe Akane simply using that fact.  
As for Akane managing Vacuum Blades, it IS possible for a martial   
artist to learn how to use them without training. One simply has to   
move fast enough in a cutting motion or swing their arm with enough   
force.  
  
Combat Tag sounds really fun. I'll make some rules up for it in   
one of the next few chapters or something. 


	7. The Tournament: Entrance

Akane was suffering. Prior to her recent change of heart, Cerl   
wouldn't have cared. However, Akane had come to realize just how much   
she'd been projecting things when she shouldn't, and had fallen into a   
deep depression. Cerl's hope had been that Akane would wake up to the   
bad things and try to change them, but the end of their fight had set   
the tone for Akane's change.  
Cerl had been to a large number of psychology classes, but she   
didn't feel confident enough try to rebuild someone's ego. She   
preferred leaving that to a professional. The problem was that the   
family couldn't truly afford a therapist for as long as Akane might   
need one.  
Which was why Cerl was looking through a newspaper, hoping to   
find a job, a game show or something that would get them the money they   
needed. If they couldn't get Akane some psychological help, the poor   
girl might do something rash.  
Then, she saw an advertisement for a fighting tournament. Cerl   
arched an eyebrow. It was a little too convenient for a new tournament   
to appear shortly after Ihadurca's appearance. Still, the prize money   
was pretty good. If it was legitimate, Cerl wouldn't mind.  
Cerl shifted uncomfortably on the park bench. Her right femur   
had a small bone fracture. Nothing that would affect a normal person   
too much, but Doctor Tofu had told her not to do any training for a   
month to let the fracture heal.  
"What'cha looking at?" Sabrina inquired.  
"Well, we kinda need some money, so I'm thinking of joining a   
tournament." Cerl responded.  
"Are you sure you should? I mean, I heard you got badly injured   
in that last battle." Sabrina asked, motioning to Cerl's right leg, the   
bandages showing from underneath the blonde's shorts.  
"It's for family and besides, the fracture is a small one. I   
mean, so long as I don't go running, I'm fine right now." Cerl   
answered.  
"Actually.... uh, my aunt says she's got this healing potion that   
might heal that. I've had it before and it totally healed this long   
gash I got on my forearm." Sabrina offered.  
"Does it taste like crap?" Cerl queried.  
"Uh, yeah." Sabrina replied.  
"Good, I wouldn't trust it otherwise. I don't trust anything   
that's meant to taste good FIRST." Cerl told her.  
Sabrina laughed, "I guess medicine does have to taste bad. Most   
of the time, anyway."  
"Well, that's how you know it's working." Cerl chuckled.  
Sabrina helped Cerl up and the two headed back to Sabrina's   
apartment.  
  
Cologne looked at the tournament listing as well. She pondered   
it over. She wouldn't know if it was a front for Ihadurca without   
entering, but doing so might leave her open to a trap.  
Then, the answer came to her. Shampoo, Cerl and Ranma could   
enter as fighters and she could be their manager. Most of the fighters   
would likely have a manager that was rather old, so hopefully she   
wouldn't stand out too much. She would have added Mousse to the list,   
but the only listed tournament rule forbade weapons.  
"Grandmother, what is it?" Shampoo inquired.  
Cologne glanced up at her granddaughter, "There will be a   
tournament soon. It starts in a week. I believe it might be a front   
for Ihadurca, so we have to investigate."  
"Does this mean you increase training schedule of Ranma and   
Cerl?" Shampoo inquired.  
"No. If I were to increase it too much, they would be too busy   
recovering to fight decently." Cologne answered, "However, they can   
still complete their current training."  
Shampoo nodded, then asked, "And what we do about Gel?"  
"Sadly, nothing. The current rules don't allow for anything more   
than a Fight of Rejection, but you are not yet ready for that, because   
if she wins, you must become her partner." Cologne told her.  
Shampoo stuck out her tongue and winced in disgust.  
"Oh, by the way, Grandmother, I find... FOUND a strange game that   
have many Amazon customs written within." Shampoo said, holding up a   
black cardboard box that read 'Battletech'.  
"Hmm, interesting..." Cologne commented.  
(1)  
  
Meanwhile, across the city, Sabrina and Cerl were just entering   
Sabrina's apartment when Cerl noticed a strange smell in the air.  
"Did you leave a pot on or something?" Cerl asked.  
"No, I don't think so..." Sabrina began.  
Just then, a leggy and well-tanned woman entered the room, her   
short black hair reminding Cerl of Nabiki's haircut. She was wearing a   
kitchen glove and holding a pot, "Oh, hello, Sabrina. And who's your   
friend? I just made some spiderbread cookies."  
"Aunt Hilda?" Sabrina asked, a lump of worry and panic instantly   
knotting up her stomach.  
"Oh, don't sound like that. I just came for a little house-  
warming and see how things were going. You know, help you out with the   
first month. I remember this time when I moved into London and OH!   
That place smelled like a STY until my grandmother made me some   
spiderbread cookies. After that, the place smelled heavenly for   
weeks." Hilda responded.  
"Uh, that's nice. This is Cerl, she's a foreign exchange student   
as well, but part of her family already lives in Japan." Sabrina said,   
introducing Cerl to Hilda, then began the counter-introduction, "Cerl,   
this is-"  
"I'm Sabrina's aunt, Hilda. It's so nice to know that Sabrina's   
already making such good friends over here." Hilda interupted,   
extending her free hand to shake Cerl's hand.  
"Nice to meet you. Actually, thsoe DO smell nice. Are there any   
ready to eat?" Cerl inquired.  
"Eat them? Oh, heavens no. You don't EAT spiderbread cookies,   
because they smell good, but taste like horse dung. You let them bake   
and cool, then you break them open and the sweet scent that you can   
smell right now permeates the room." Hilda responded.  
"Sort of like potpurri, then." Cerl acknowledged.  
"Yep. Only less likely to summon minor spirits." Hilda replied.  
Sabrina felt the knot in her stomach begin to stab painfully as   
Hilda re-entered the kitchen.  
"So, she must be your magic-using aunt. The one who knows the   
voodoo magic." Cerl commented, "She's pretty nice."  
"Uh, yeah. She is." Sabrina replied, happy that the first   
impression with her aunt went by rather nicely, "Hey, Aunt Hilda, can   
you whip up a batch of that healing potion that you made that one time?   
My friend Cerl has a small bone fracture and she needs to be in top   
condition for a tournament next week."  
"Hmm, bone fracture, huh? It'll take some doing, but with your   
help, I can have it ready in about twenty minutes." Hilda responded.  
"Um..." Sabrina began, looking between Hilda and Cerl.  
Cerl interupted Sabrina's apology, "I can read my newspaper.   
It's not like I'm in a rush or anything."  
"Great. There's a bed in the next room." Hilda told her.  
As soon as Cerl was out of sight and Sabrina was in the kitchen,   
Hilda cast a privacy spell to block verbal noise from exiting the   
kitchen, then turned to Sabrina, "So, what's the cover story?"  
"Well, you're my voodoo-using aunt." Sabrina responded.  
"Did she seem okay with that?" Hilda pressed.  
"Yeah. She thought you were nice. And she's the kind of person   
who's pretty laid back about things." Sabrina answered.  
Hilda considered that, "Do you think she'll react well if you   
need to use magic around her?"  
Sabrina nodded, "Most likely. Her cousin was using a magical   
dougi the other day and Cerl didn't really seem to freak out about it."  
"A magical what?" Hilda asked.  
Sabrina tried to explain, "It's like a uniform for martial   
artists. You know, the baggy pants and the vest-like jacket?"  
"Oh, like the kind you see Chuck Norris wearing in those karate   
movies?" Hilda inquired.  
Sabrina nodded.  
"So, what did this one do?" Hilda asked.  
"A lot of things. It boosted the wearer's skill level and   
physical abilities waaay up and the spirit of the dougi can take over   
in the fight if the wearer gets knocked out." Sabrina replied.  
"That sounds like the Battle Armor spell that Zelda knows, only   
adapted a bit for martial arts and more permanent." Hilda commented,   
"Anyway, if you think she's okay, I'd reveal your talents before it   
comes down to a confession under awkward circumstances."  
"You think so?" Sabrina asked.  
"Yeah. If she's seen a magic item in action, she'll probably   
react more favorably towards you than some people would." Hilda told   
her.  
Sabrina considered it. Cerl did seem to be like some of the good   
friends she'd made.  
"I'll do it." Sabrina agreed.  
"Good, now, don't keep her waiting." Hilda said, handing Sabrina   
a potion.  
"But... I thought..." Sabrina began, startled.  
"It's easy to do when you have a formula spell." Hilda answered.   
Sabrina arched an eyebrow, "And since when has a healing potion   
been a formula spell?"(2)  
"Oh, I had a lot of accidents in my day. You think being a klutz   
in this day and age is hard, try being a klutz when medical science was   
entirely 'Leech it!'." Hilda answered.  
Sabrina nodded slowly, then turned and exited the room while   
Hilda removed the privacy spell.(3)  
"Hmmmm...." Cerl commented as she re-read the paper.  
"What's up?" Sabrina asked.  
"Well, I've been looking over this tournament listing and it's   
very strange. For one thing, I think the prize money just doubled and   
I didn't get a new newspaper. Hmmm, must be my imagination." Cerl   
commented.  
Sabrina frowned and looked over Cerl's shoulder at the newspaper.   
She focused hard on the page and just as she suspected, a number of   
magical runes appeared in the ad for the tournament. Not huge ones, or   
even aggressive ones. The runes were meant to drive away most people's   
attention while catching a specific type of person. They also allowed   
for instant updates. Only a quick-minded person or someone with   
magical talent would be able to catch the updates and the former would   
brush it off as a trick that their own minds had played on them.  
Such things weren't that uncommon. Since the invention of the   
personal ad, there were spell-casters who used those runes intermixed   
with messages as a means of increasing the chances that they'd get what   
they wanted.  
The only thing was, as far as she'd heard, most witches and   
wizards in Japan didn't like being even sneaky with their magic and   
instead, preferred to travel to the astral plane to do whatever magic   
they desired.  
"Oh yeah, here's the potion." Sabrina spoke up, handing the   
potion to Cerl.  
Cerl took a swig, made an 'URK' noise and then proceeded to fall   
over, Sabrina snatching the potion from her rigid hands before she   
could hit the ground. That had been her reaction to the potion, so it   
wasn't that implausible that it would be everyone's reaction.  
Sabrina corked the potion, cast a spell to label it as Cerl's,   
should she need it again, and placed it in a subdimensional locker.   
Then, she hefted the stiff form of Cerl up onto her bed. Then, she   
decided to look into the tournament ad....  
  
Ranma was confused as to how he should feel. He already knew   
what he felt for Cerl was growing the more time he shared with the   
body-swapped girl, and he'd even managed the courage to confess, but he   
had yet to receive an answer. Cerl had just told him that it would   
take time for her to sort out her own feelings.  
However, the fact that it had taken her so long was beginning to   
nag at him. Was she even thinking about it, given the whole thing   
between her and Akane? What would he do if she didn't feel that way   
about him? Could he really stop thinking about her as anything more   
than a friend?  
"What's wrong, Ranma?" Ukyou inquired, interupting Ranma from his   
thoughts as they sat down on a park bench.  
"Mmm? Oh, it's Cerl." Ranma responded.  
"Sounds like a nice girl. Certainly better than Akane, anyway."   
Ukyou answered.  
"Well, I kinda told her my feelings about her and... she hasn't   
gotten back to me yet, but I'm pretty sure she's been really   
distracted." Ranma told her.  
"Hmmm... are you sure she feels the same way about you? I've   
seen a lot of girls give boys the "let's just be friends" speech."   
Ukyou warned him.  
"......" Ranma replied.  
"So, you just blurted it out at spur of the moment? Or did you   
think there was a mood going?" Ukyou inquired.  
"......" Ranma repeated.  
"That's not an answer, Ranma, and I don't have telepathy, so I   
can't read your mind. And trust me, I've tried." Ukyou informed him.  
"I thought we had a chemisty going, but things changed rapidly   
and I guess I was acting without thinking." Ranma answered.  
[This is almost like watching a bad soap opera or a romance   
comedy.] Ukyou thought to herself with a heavy sigh.  
  
There were organizations that spanned the dimensions, just as   
there were organizations that spanned galaxies. Many people would be   
fascinated to know that many of these groups found their purpose in   
keeping various realities from dying, an effort to stop or slow   
entropy.  
Obviously, organizations that spanned dimensions were often   
somewhat strange, usually led by a madman or a genius, depending on   
when one looked at said leader.  
One of these pan-dimensional groups shocked many who saw it's   
name for the first time: Evil, Inc.  
It was generally thought that only evil would ever want to   
destroy everything. This could not be more wrong. Just like color and   
shadow are not officially light or darkness, good and evil don't always   
act as most would assume.  
Evil, Inc. wanted to preserve the universe, but obviously, the   
first interpretation was that such a thing would go against the grain   
of evil. Not in the least. Evil, Inc. wanted to preserve the universe   
so that it could continue to manipulate it's inhabitants.  
Evil wasn't always stupid, after all. That was usually the   
cannon fodder and most of the pretentious losers who thought that they   
were superior (most of whom could be defeated by lame heroes, such as   
Mary Kate & Ashley, Kim Possible, Teamo Supremeo, the Smurfs or even   
the Super Friends).  
No, Evil, Inc. knew that it was power that was found from   
manipulating entire galaxies into doing what they wanted while the   
inhabitants remained unaware. Evil, Inc., however, often felt that a   
direct hand sometimes was needed to prevent things from getting too   
good or evil. A corrupted balance had to be maintained or else evil   
itself would suffer.  
The truth was, in many dimensions, the more common evil needed a   
helping hand to get on it's feet so it could distract good from the   
real evil (Evil, Inc.) and so, Evil, Inc. took in various aspiring   
villians, gave them the knowledge, power and (depending on their value)  
resources.  
"So, basically, you're going to make me a shield against any   
groups of heroes who might catch on to you and your operation." the   
young man repeated.  
The shape-shifting sorceror nodded, then changed into a rabbit.  
"Damn that blasted curse. This is why it's best never to take on   
another evil organization, even though it seems pathetic." the sorcerer   
commented, looking at his laptop before continuing, "Now, your   
dimension has an evil rating of 5, just typical evil, no real baddies   
just yet...."  
An alarm flashed on the screen, "Oop, no, there's one   
reincarnated sorceress. That raises it to 9." the rabbit-sorcerer   
said, then made a disapproving, "Mmmmm."  
"Is that bad?" the young man inquired.  
"Well, let's just say this: You would have been given an army and   
the standard base hidden in a different dimension when it was level 5.   
Now, we give you a sewer base (Ninja, Turtle and Mutant free when we   
give it to you), locate some bottom-rung personnel for you, grant you   
generic energy draining powers and give you our 2001-20004 catalog."   
the sorcerer told him, changing into a bottle of Clorox, a flying   
tortilla roll, a penguin and finally back to a vague human-shape in the   
process, before pulling out a catalog.  
"Uh, don't you mean 2004 and not 20004?" the young man inquired.  
"Damn type-o." the sorcerer commented, shifting into a sorceress,   
then a bean burrito.  
The young man stared at the burrito that had the Evil, Inc.   
catalog laying on it.  
"Don't worry about me. Just pick up the catalog. It's really   
heavy." the sorcerer's muffled voice came from the burrito.  
"Uh, right..." the young man said, picking up the catalog.  
The sorcerer returned to his original shape, but he looked like   
the squat image shown in a circus funhouse mirror. Or an image that   
had half of it's height reduced, but nothing had been cropped out.  
"Anyway," the sorcerer continued, "you should choose a new name.   
It helps get into the Evil Overlord mindset. Plus, it's easier for   
both of us if we call you by your Evil Overlord name instead of your   
real name."  
"Hmmmmm, I've always like names that had a Z sound to them....   
how about Zangulus?" the young man asked.  
"Taken."  
"Zagraguttural?"  
"Taken."  
"ZZ Top."  
"Taken. Twice...."  
"Xenon?"  
"Not taken."  
"Good, I'll take it." the young man declared.  
"Oop, taken." the sorcerer said, then chuckled, "Just kidding."  
"MUST... CONTROL... HAND... OF DEATH!"  
  
Ihadurca didn't have much to do while she waited for her body to   
recover enough spiritual strength so that she could move more readily.   
Her envoy to Shadowloo was completed and now, the only thing she could   
do until Bison filled his end of the bargain was watch television.  
Of course, mass media was known to be one of the biggest   
corruptors of the human mind.  
"MIKA!"  
"YAMAZAKI!"  
Whirlwind of Love was pretty good. If only those two could stay   
together for more than two episodes.  
  
Things weren't looking good, the ancient warrior decided. And   
the worse it went, the more likely he would suffer. It was insane, but   
for the last three hundred years, their plans had failed at a critical   
juncture, and all because of a small area in China that produced   
phenomenal fighters.  
Were it not against the rules to directly or indirectly attack   
any fighter on the planet, it would have been over long ago. Instead,   
he had to appease himself with the fact that for every tournament that   
the inhabitants of this miserable planet won, it only gave them a   
single tournament of leeway.  
Unfortunately, they had already managed NINE tournaments of   
leeway.  
Shang Tsung sighed a weary sigh. If they did not win the next   
Mortal Kombat, Raiden could file a seal, which would prevent Shang   
Tsung's master, Shao Khan, from ruling over the world. Sheer endurance   
was something the natives had in spades. If brute strength would not   
abide, Goro's many bruises could attest to that, then it was time for a   
little strategy.  
Shang Tsung smiled. After all, the tournament could operate in   
any fashion he saw fit, so long as it could be deemed fair. It was   
time to call up the souls of a few Lin Kuei he knew. The tournament   
was still a year away, but it wouldn't hurt to train extensively.  
  
Xenon sighed. It was difficult moving in, but the effort had   
been well worth it. The idea of a sewer-based fortress had been   
unappealing, but the entire sewer had a scent filter, canceling   
anything but fruit-flavored scents from catching the nose of anyone in   
the sewer, and a gas detector was set up to warn if any high   
concentrations of gases got loose.  
He wore a white cape over a fairly nice t-shirt jeans combo. He   
couldn't afford an official uniform yet. Hell, he had only been able   
to purchase some minor items to help out in his first money-making   
scheme.  
Before him was a blondish-brunette with her long hair in back   
being tied into a long braid. Her bright green eyes and her one   
(always visible) fang were sort of cute. And best of all, she already   
had a fairly decent minion outfit, a black shoulderless leotard with   
baggy white and grey short-shorts and an identical jacket that had   
puffy shoulders. She wore black and grey boots and black fingerless   
gloves.  
Of course, she didn't seem to have a last name or know where her   
parents were, but she remained uselessly energetic and she was   
currently still in high school, though she assured Xenon that she would   
be graduating soon.  
He just wished he knew why he'd accepted her application. Then,   
he remembered that he'd chosen her because she was actually better than   
most of the other candidates, many of whom would likely pawn whatever   
was given to them for beer money or blow off any assignment that was   
more time-consuming that 'sit on toilet and poop'.  
"HAIL, LORD XENON!" the girl declared.  
"Ah, Excel, good of you to come on such short notice." Lord Xenon   
began, still trying to get the feeling for being a leader down. It was   
best to start thinking rationally and allow the ego to swell in   
proportion to actual accomplishments.  
Excel bowed, "I'm always happy to answer my Lord Xenon's   
requests, no matter what they may be."  
As Excel slipped into a daydream and began making peculiar   
moaning sounds while rubbing her hands up and down her body in an   
erotic fashion, Xenon quickly grabbed his Evil, Inc. catalog and   
flipped through it to find the subject on Bottom-Rung Minions.  
  
Bottom-Rung Minions are sometimes given false memories  
and/or loyalty neurochips to ensure absolute loyalty.  
  
Sighing as he realized exactly what Excel was moaning about (he   
now wished he had remained in the dark), Xenon continued with the   
conversation, doing his best to ignore Excel, "As you have no doubt   
noticed, we are lacking in vast quantities of capital. Ordinarily, we   
would simply go out and get jobs."  
Xenon stood up from his somewhat uncomfortable throne-like chair   
and struck a dramatic pose, "HOWEVER, we are no ordinary organization.   
We are the secret para-military organization ACROSS! Thus, we will be   
making a form of capital that will ensure that we will only improve the   
organization while we are on ACROSS time."  
"Um, does that mean we don't get free donuts?" Excel inquired.  
Lord Xenon paused, then looked in his catalog, before answering,   
"Only if we don't do well."  
"BANZAI! ACROSS! BANZAI!" Excel cheered.  
[It was going to be a LONG first mission.] Xenon thought to   
himself, [A VERY long mission.]  
"Excel, please be quiet while I explain our mission." Xenon   
ordered.  
Excel quieted instantly.  
"Now, our first mission is to collect energy from humans in the   
city. We'll sell that energy in order to pay off the loan on this   
fortress as well as gain capital so that we can expand our operations.   
I have been loaned the magical ability to drain energy, but I could not   
afford the same ability for you, so you'll have to rely on this." Xenon   
said, holding up a vaccuum.  
Excel tilted her head in confusion, "Nyah?"  
"This is a specially modified vaccuum. DON'T USE IT to clean up   
your clothes or clean around your house. It drains energy only." Xenon   
explained, "It does NOT need to be plugged in. Just point the end   
toward a crowd and turn it onto low. It'll switch off once it reaches   
it's maximum capacity. Once that happens, return here. If I'm not   
here, just leave the vaccuum and report here tomorrow at the same   
time."  
"I, Excel, will do my best to complete this mission for you, my   
dear Lord Xenon!" Excel declared.  
[Well, at least she's very eager to please. I won't need to   
worry about her backstabbing.] Xenon thought to himself.  
"Yes, for you, Lord Xenon, I will do anything! Through fire!   
Burning, burning! Through water! Pouring! If you ask me to strip,   
I'll strip right away! If you want me to throw up, I'll throw up!"   
Excel continued, "As a loyal member of ACROSS, and as a maiden who's in   
love with Lord Xenon," Xenon sighed and raised a barrier, "OH! LORD   
XENON, TAKE ME NO-" Excel slammed into the barrier and slid down.  
Xenon looked down at her, "Let's stay focused."  
"Right..." Excel mumbled.  
  
A week passed with little to no complications. Doctor Tofu HAD   
been a bit suspicious about Cerl's 'miraculous recovery', but he'd seen   
stranger things and the bone fracture _was_ gone. Cerl had returned to   
her training with Cologne and Ranma to finish out the week and the   
training.  
Cerl shifted uncomfortably as she leaned against the wall. She   
was wearing a new white dougi that had the kanji for 'Tendo' sewn on   
the back and as a patch on the front, courtesy of Kasumi. She'd pulled   
her hair back into a ponytail to prevent it from getting in her face   
during the tournament. It hadn't bothered her much during her fight   
with Akane, but the last thing she needed was to be distracted at a   
critical moment.  
Ranma was wearing his white chinese shirt and usual black pants.   
Shampoo, who had joined, much to Cerl's surprise, was wearing light   
pink pants and a red and pink shirt that was elaborately embroidered   
with gold. According to the amazon, it was her favorite fighting   
uniform.  
Cologne eyed the trio. She had no doubt that they'd win against   
most of the fighters in the tournament, but she was very uncertain if   
they would be able to avoid a trap, should it be one of Ihadurca's.   
Fortunately, the three were in separate divisions, meaning that the   
likelyhood that they'd face each other right off the bat was minimal.   
That would allow Cologne plenty of time to investigate the tournament   
hall, in search of the person who's arranged it.  
In the audience, many of Ranma and Cerl's friends sat, eagerly   
awaiting what was sure to be another excellent fight, especially   
considering how awesome Cerl and Akane's fight had been. Sabrina sat   
between Haruka and Ukyou, the latter grumbling about how it was unfair   
that weapons weren't allowed in many tournaments. Haruka had brought   
eight of her friends along, Michiru included. Michiru sat on the other   
side of Sabrina while the rest of Haruka's friends sat behind them.  
"Helloooooooooooooo, Nerima!" came the voice of the announcer.  
The young man who looked like he was wearing a cross between a   
mime and a dog outfit, waved energetically as the lights illuminated   
the ring, granting a better view of the strange man.  
He had a bright red clown-like nose, floppy ears that looked like   
a cross between a thin-eared rabbits and a floppy-eared german   
shepard's. The only article of clothing he wore was a pair of brown   
pants which were held tightly in place by a rather plain-looking belt.  
"I'm your announcer, Yakko Warner. Now, I'm sure many of you are   
unsure of what the heck is going on, and I'd like to tell you, but I   
don't know myself." the strange man explained.  
Just then, he looked at one of the exits, yelped, and ran off.   
As an overweight guard ran around the ring after the strange man, the   
audience gave sideway glances at each other, then hesitantly applauded.  
Then, a normal-looking man wearing a tuxedo walked into the ring   
and took the microphone, "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOO   
RUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!"  
Again, though this time even more hesitantly, the audience   
applauded.  
"Introducing our first two contestants. First, in the red   
corner, Tendo Cerl, heir of Tendo Anything Goes School," the announcer   
continued, "And in the blue corner, the legendary stealer of faces and   
styles, the infamous Copycat KEN!"  
Cerl arched an eyebrow as she walked to the ring's edge. A   
style-stealer? She hopped into the ring and saw her opponent for the   
first time.  
Copycat Ken was an unassuming type. Black hair, yellow shirt   
with snot-green vest, tan pants and a Genma-esque hankerchief over his   
head.  
"Heh-heh-heh! I've been watching you, Cerl Tendo, and I know ALL   
your moves." Copycat Ken chuckled evilly, "Give up now and I won't   
embarrass you... too much."  
"Only the weak trash talk before proving themselves." Cerl   
responded calmly.  
Ken's face turned bright red with anger for a few seconds, then   
he forced himself to settle down. He would have all the chips soon   
enough.  
The referee entered the ring and took the microphone while the   
announcer exited and headed for his ringside table. The referee   
cleared his throat and began, "This is a single elimination tournament.   
You may not use weapons. If you are thrown out of the ring, stay down   
for a count of ten, or, the gods forbid, kill your opponent, you are   
eliminated from the tournament. Also, deliberately striking an   
opponent in the groin is forbidden and will count as a penalty. Get   
three penalties and you are disqualified."  
The bell rang.  
"Heh, watch this!" Copycat Ken chortled, pulling out a cloth and   
backflipping onto his corner post. In an instant, Ken was transformed   
into a replica of Cerl.  
Cerl-Ken leapt down and sneered at Cerl, who calmly shifted into   
an aggressive stance. Cerl-Ken shifted into the same stance. Cerl   
charged, which Cerl-Ken copied. Suddenly, Cerl dove for the mat at her   
feet, rolling and kipupping into Cerl-Ken's stomach. The surprized   
shapeshifter stumbled backwards.  
"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cerl roared with laughter.  
"What's so funny?" Cerl-Ken demanded.  
"I can already tell that you're going to lose." Cerl told the   
copycat, circling to the right, a knowing grin on her face, very   
similar to the one of a cat that had figured out how to get into the   
goldfish tank at a pet shop and not get caught.  
Cerl-Ken growled and tried to rationalize out the flaw in her   
technique. Normally, when she watched someone and then took on their   
form, her opponents fell into a predictable pattern. However, Cerl   
hadn't even been fazed by the transformation, nor was she falling into   
a pattern.  
Cerl interupted Cerl-Ken's thoughts by suddenly jumping against   
the ropes, then flying at Cerl-Ken faster than the copycat could react,   
catching the imposter with a clothesline that sent Cerl-Ken to the mat.  
"I can't believe it! Copykat Ken's rated as one of Japan's top   
ten fighters!" a nearby crowd member declared loudly.  
Cerl, upon hearing that, again began laughing, slapping her knees   
as she struggled to regain her composure. However, every time she   
caught sight of Cerl-Ken, she burst into fresh laughter. Finally, she   
caught her breath and forced herself to face the now recovering Cerl-  
Ken.  
"Whew... I almost puked." Cerl commented, still snickering.  
Cerl-Ken coughed a few times to make sure her throat still   
worked. The clothesline had been both unexpected and quite powerful.   
Whatever training the girl had done, it had given her more strength   
than Cerl-Ken had counted on. The magical cloth that granted her the   
power to assume another's form did increase her physical attributes,   
but the user had to have an accurate idea of said target's attributes,   
otherwise the cloth simply made slight boosts.  
"KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!" Cerl-Ken cried, lunging at Cerl,   
throwing a hundred punches as quick as she could.  
Cerl leapt away, then frowned, "Why in the nine hells are you   
calling out the name of a training technique? Don't you know that it   
sounds stupid? Jeez, why not yell something like 'Branch Fist' or   
'Oceanborn'? You'd sound less stupid."  
Cerl-Ken leapt at Cerl, intending to catch the blonde flatfoot as   
she landed, but Cerl caught Cerl-Ken's foot and flung her into the   
corner post. Cerl winced as Cerl-Ken impacted with the corner post,   
then collapsed to her back.  
The announcer's voice, which Cerl had been ignoring, stated the   
obvious, "And Copycat Ken... at least I think that Ken... is down   
again. The referee has decided to begin counting. 1... 2..."  
Cerl-Ken groaned as she sat up. It wasn't working, she decided   
as she unsteadily got to her feet. Time to switch. With a flip, she   
took out her cloth and changed into a different person. Cerl didn't   
seem to even blink in surprise as Ranma-Ken turned around, "Heh heh   
heh! Let's see if you can wail on your boyfriend."  
"You don't seem to understand, do you? You can't beat me using   
that cheap trick." Cerl told the fake Ranma as Ranma-Ken leapt to the   
mat and charged her.  
Cerl slid into Ranma-Ken's guard, surprising the shapechanger,   
and proceeded to punch him twice in the face, then kneed him in the   
stomach before catching his head with one hand and flinging him out of   
the ring.  
"Hmph. You weren't worth my time." Cerl told Ranma-Ken before he   
hit the ground, backfirst.  
"THE WINNER, CERL TENDO!"  
"Ranma, you sure Cerl is sane?" Shampoo asked.  
"Yeah... she's just... not fazed by much." Ranma answered,   
sweatdropping.  
  
Cologne sighed as she flipped through the folders. It seemed   
that a lot of fake files had been included in the file cabinets she was   
looking through, ones made to throw off anyone who wanted to learn   
things they shouldn't know.  
Finally, she found a folder marked 'Mary Bo Peep' in English.   
Inside was the donation roster for the people who had financed the   
tournament. Most of the names were resturaunts or corporations who had   
purchased rights to sell or advertise at the tournament.  
However, for some reason, the Prime Minister had made a donation   
to the tournament, one equal to the listed prize money for first place.   
Cologne pondered that fact. Why would the Prime Minister of Japan   
supply the prize money for a tournament?  
She would have to do further investigation. But first, it was   
time to see how well her next pupil was going to do.  
  
Ranma yawned. Whoever Dan Hibiki had been, he'd been a   
certifiable quack. If it weren't for the fact that Ranma had seen   
other fighters employ similar distractions to aid their weak fighting   
style, Ranma might have been in for a serious fight. As it was, it was   
Shampoo's turn to fight.  
"In the blue corner, from Location Deleted, China," the announcer   
began, pausing a bit to consider that, "SHAMPOO! And in the red   
corner, from southern Hokkaido, current heir of the Kidou Karate   
fighting style, YUKA TAKEUCHI!"  
Cerl watched as a girl with longer hair than even Shampoo's and a   
pairs of breasts that made it look like two watermelons were under her   
shift entered the ring. She wore her hair in a ponytail with a red   
ribbon tying it and she was wearing a white button up shirt with an   
orange waitress skirt. In fact, she looked like she'd come straight   
from a job at Hanna Miller's.(4)  
Even Shampoo seemed to be eyeing the girl's bust, wondering what   
kind of bra could possibly hold that chest in place during a fight. In   
the audience, Haruka received a intestine-gouging elbow from Michiru.  
"What?!" Haruka demanded.  
"You were thinking it." Michiru responded.  
Haruka's face flushed red as she did her best to ignore the girl   
in the ring. Sabrina sweatdropped, "That's gotta be one hell of a   
bra."  
"I wonder what her diet is like..." Ukyou murmurred, stroking her   
chin thoughtfully. Sabrina glanced at Ukyou, then decided to focus on   
the fight.  
In terms of physical fighting skill, Yuka was weaker. Shampoo's   
training had been much more extensive and vastly more difficult. On   
the other hand, in terms of ki, Shampoo was a raindrop before a   
waterfall. Yuka had power to BURN and in spades. The problem for Yuka   
was that she didn't seem to have the control or perhaps the training   
necessary to reach that power.  
"This will be interesting." Cerl noted.  
"You really think so?" Ranma inquired.  
Cerl nodded, "Yuka's got a lot of power. I'd estimate almost   
enough that it could compensate for her lesser skills."  
"I don't know. Shampoo's got a lot more speed and a large   
strength advantage." Ranma responded.  
"Not so much that Yuka couldn't compensate. It'll be close,   
that's for sure." Cerl declared.  
The bell rang. Yuka and Shampoo both charged. Shampoo leapt   
into the air and jump-kicked at Yuka, who slid to a stop when Shampoo   
jumped and backflipped away from Shampoo. As Shampoo landed, Yuka   
rebounded off the ropes and retaliated with her own jumpkick, which   
Shampoo leapt over.  
Yuka landed and spun to catch Shampoo's almost-surprise punch and   
flung the amazonian warrior into the air. Shampoo twisted and landed   
on a corner post instead of the hard concrete outside of the ring.   
Like a projectile out of a bow, Shampoo shot at Yuka again, but she   
landed early and began striking at Yuka.  
Though she had a large chest, she wasn't hampered by it's size or   
weight. Shampoo grew more and more frustrated as Yuka cleanly dodged   
every strike. Finally, she retreated to catch her breath. How Yuka   
had managed to dodge every single attack, even the ones aimed at her   
chest, was amazing. Most opponents who had an overgrowth (such as a   
fat belly or a large breasts) were too slow or awkward in their dodging   
to avoid EVERY strike. Usually, they slipped up and allowed their   
overgrown body part to be struck. Yuka seemed to have trained around   
that flaw.  
"You not fight back?" Shampoo asked.  
"Just seeing what you could do." Yuka said, before gathering   
energy into her right hand, which was clenched tightly.  
"What the-" Cerl began, sensing a large energy spike from Yuka.  
"SHAMPOO!" Ranma cried.  
Shampoo realized seconds too late of the power that Yuka was   
gathering.  
"SCREAM DEVIL BULLET!" Yuka cried.  
A basketball-sized ki blast of red energy flew from Yuka's fist   
and catapulted Shampoo out of both the ring and the tournament.  
"Shampoo! Are you okay?" Ranma asked, racing over to his   
friend's side.  
"Oh... I think I overdid it..." Yuka apologized, hopping out of   
the ring to help check on Shampoo.  
Cerl hummed to herself. If Yuka could manifest that level of   
attack already, then she would be a very dangerous opponent. She would   
have to go all out with no restraints, should she face Yuka in the   
ring.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Amusing Ancedote: Back in the late 80s-early 90s, some friends   
(who have since moved away) and I used to make lists about dream teams,   
similar to the Olympic Dreamteam from the NBA. The dream teams we came   
up with were usually based on things like music or games. I recently   
rediscovered a lot of these dream teams that I only vaguely recalled   
and, flipping through the list, I found many very VERY _VERY_ poorly   
chosen names. But, I was only about eight to ten years old back then   
and a lot of things hadn't come to our attention back then.  
One dream team (remember, late 80s-early 90s) was if M.C. Hammer   
and Vanilla Ice joined up, they could call themselves Hammerin' Ice.  
I'll let that settle in your brains until you get the wrongness   
of it.  
Well, obviously, I busted up laughing at the names, and, with my   
new circle of friends, set about creating a brand new list of sheer   
wrongness.  
Best Result: Outkast and Aerosmith make Aer Out O'Smith's Kast   
and their hit single would be, "I'm Sorry, Miss Jackson, For What's In   
The Elevator."  
Eye Roller: Run D.M.C., M.C. Hammer and L.L. Cool J make   
R.A.P.P.E.R.S. M.A.K.I.N.G. C.R.A.P. U.P.  
Weakest Result: Christina Aguilera, Brittany Spears, Ginger Spice   
and Madonna make 4 Blondes (antithesis to 4 Non-Blondes).  
  
(1) Omake!:  
"AIYAH! SCENE IS CHANGING ABRUPTLY!" Shampoo cried.  
"OH NO, YOU DON'T, A-KUN!" Cologne shouted, before raising her   
staff and taking on a narrative voice, "Meanwhile, across the city..."  
  
(2) Formula spells are often researched by witches or warlocks who have   
frequent use of a specific potion. The spell automatically conjures up   
the ingredients necessary from the nearby area and creates the potion   
just as the witch would. The spell, however, takes only two minutes to   
finish the selected potion, provided it doesn't requite anything   
outside of the ingredients. Due to the fact that some ingredients are   
more rare than others (and thus, more likely to get the owner of said   
ingredient angry at it's sudden disappearance), it's usually safest if   
the caster collects all of the ingredients beforehand.  
  
(3) Privacy spells must be cast carefully. If a full Privacy spell is   
cast in the middle of the street, the effects are rather noticeable as   
an opaque sphere appears around those within it's radius. If the same   
privacy spell is cast in a closed room, anyone trying to peek in will   
be irritated to find that SOMETHING is always blocking their view and   
it will sound like the two within are whispering, regardless of what   
hearing aides the peeper brought with them.  
Obviously, the desired effects can be chosen prior to casting.  
  
(4) Hanna Miller's (Anna Miller's in the real world) is a resturaunt   
that serves American food. The japanese are fascinated with it, which   
is why you saw Ranma-chan and Akane munching on burgers during the   
first season. It's also from Variable Geo, which happens to be one of   
my biggest obsessions.  
  
"My sweet silky milky May!" - Kotoro Nanbara, Hand Maid May  
  
Chapter 7, Complete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
The next few rounds of the tournament unfold!  
Cologne discovers the truth behind the tournament!  
Evil Inc.'s first plot unraveled!  
And Cerl versus Ranma! 


	8. The Tournament: Part 2 SemiFinals

Yuka sighed. It was always difficult keeping calm during a   
tournament. Sure, she was doing good, but she'd already given away one   
of her stronger attacks that she liked to keep hidden. She knew she   
had a lot of power to burn, but she didn't want to spiritually exhuast   
herself, just in case she faced an opponent who had better control or   
more power.  
The Variable Geo tournament was over, so she needed to find   
something to do. Satomi Yajima, Yuka's best friend, and her little   
brother Daisuke were finally happy, given that the prize money alone   
was more than they would ever need.  
Losing to Satomi had shown Yuka that her skills needed serious   
improvement. And besides, it was nice to be out of the Variable Geo   
tournament, where she would have to strip if she lost. Of course, she   
wasn't the only one from the VG tournament who had entered this   
tournament.  
Jun Kubota, ex-professional wrestler and fellow VG fighter, had   
entered, likely to keep her skills sharp. The dark-skinned woman   
pushed her long dark hair back as she readjusted her headband. Jun had   
become a good friend as well. Of course, she kept saying things that   
made Yuka wonder if she wasn't using tournaments as a means of getting   
a date. Jun wasn't as powerful as Yuka when it came to energy attacks,   
but she was definitely stronger when it came to physical strength.  
"Well, with Copycat Ken out of the way, this tournament should be   
a bit easier." Jun said conversationally.  
"I don't think so, Jun." came the voice of another of one of   
Yuka's friends, Elena Goldsmith, the half-american blonde girl who wore   
a red and black bunnysuit as a fighting uniform. Elena's hair was   
about shoulder-length, and her bright blue eyes were almost shiny with   
glee that she had more than one strong opponent.  
Both she and Jun were very powerful, but Elena's strength was a   
mixture of powerful ki and strength while Jun focused more on physical   
strength. Yuka, on the other hand, focused enough more on her ki   
training, and she agreed with Elena's sentiment, "Elena's right. Cerl   
Tendo seems like the sort of person we should all look out for. She   
hasn't used much ki, either, so we can't really tell what's she's   
capable of. After all, she was able to decipher Ken's trick and defeat   
him with almost minimal effort."  
Jun considered that, "Well, if YOU say so, Yuka. It's not like   
it's going to be too important, since Elena's the one who'll probably   
be facing her."  
"That's right, you're Division 1, aren't you?" Yuka recalled.  
"Yeah, but what I'm worried about is Division 4. We don't know   
anything about most of the fighters in that division." Elena commented.  
"Well, the first fight should be coming up about now." Yuka   
noted.  
The annoucner turned on his microphone, "Next up, the first round   
in Division 4! In the red corner, hailing from Hokkaido, Yuki! And in   
the blue corner, hailing from Greece, OH MY KAMI-SAMA!"(1)  
The exclamation was well warranted, as the woman standing in the   
blue corner was a fairly sexy red-haired woman wearing a living green   
snake, red high heels and a smile. From the look of pain and disgust   
on Yuki's face, the two knew each other.  
Over six hundred guys who were standing behind the redhead   
developed powerful nose bleeds as the snake apparently wasn't long   
enough to cover her buttocks.  
The woman who wasn't attracting all the attention, Yuki, had long   
brown hair pulled back with a blue bandanna. She wore a matching blue   
cheongsam with an oval-shaped opening showing her cleavage, blue cloth   
arm guards and soft white boots.  
"Uh, uh, anyway, the naked cha-er, natural red-haired challenger   
in the blue corner is named Medusa!" the announcer continued, catching   
some of his composure, "And trust me, folks, I'm close enough to tell   
that it is INDEED her natural hair color."  
Yuki developed an unhealthy eyetwitch, "You just HAD to enter   
this tournament, didn't you?"  
Medusa sneered, "Of course, I did. I'm here for the prize money,   
of course."  
Yuki glared daggers at the redhead, "Right. And I bet this just   
HAPPENED to be right in your neighborhood, right?"  
"Why are you so hostile? Is it because of your defeat at my   
hands in the Strip Fighter tournament?" Medusa asked.  
"Uh, HELLO? _I_ won that fight." Yuki replied.  
"That's what the judges say, but we all know you wanted more   
'hair' time." Medusa responded.  
Yuki shuddered involuntarily, "Not on your life."  
"How about YOURS?!" Medusa asked, rolling her head backwards as   
the bell rang.  
Yuki saw the telltale signs of Medusa's attack and leapt to the   
side as Medusa's hair shot forward and gripped the corner post Yuki had   
been standing in front of.  
Yuka, meanwhile, blinked, then turned to Jun and Elena, "Have you   
guys heard of the Strip Fighter tournament?"  
Elena shook her head, but Jun grimaced and nodded.  
"What is it?" Elena inquired.  
"Shortly after the first VG tournament, a secret society got   
together and decided to see how well a more daring tournament would be.   
In VG, stripping is the main attraction. In Strip Fighting, it's okay   
to KO your opponent by any means necessary, save killing, and there   
weren't any 'out of bounds' for the tournament. The only other   
enforced rule was that each fighter has to disrobe in order to use one   
of their more powerful techniques." Jun explained.  
"How do you know about it?" Elena probed.  
"I'd told my old manager that I had decided to enter a fighting   
tournament. Apparently, they got word and approached me about joining.   
The money was pretty good, even if you didn't win, but the whole thing   
looked kinda stupid. By comparison, VG's a lot better, even if you   
have to do a Level 1. At least in VG, guys can only watch. In Strip   
Fighter, they could also approach you about 'after fight   
performances'." Jun answered.(2)  
Yuka blanched, "Yeah, that does sound pretty bad."  
"So, what happened to it?" Elena inquired.  
"I don't really know. I heard rumors that it was still going,   
but it's difficult to find fighters who'd be willing to sell their   
dignity AS WELL AS their bodies." Jun responded.  
Back in the ring, Yuki was not about to hold back against Medusa,   
who had freed her hair from the corner post. Dashing forward as fast   
as she could manage, Yuki summoned her ki in preparation of a quick   
finish. Medusa, however, wasn't sitting on her laurels. She gripped   
the tail of her snake, infusing it with ki as she pulled it off and   
flung it at Yuki like a boomerang. Yuki leapt over the flung snake and   
dove at the now naked Medusa like a hawk. The snake hit the ropes and   
fell to the mat, then began slithering back to it's mistress.  
Medusa simply smiled and rolled her head back again. Yuki   
twisted to the side as a spiral of red hair struck at the spot she had   
been just seconds ago. Medusa's snake had reached Medusa and was   
climbing up her leg in a fashion that made everyone shudder in disgust.  
"ICE WAVE!" Yuki cried, charging both her hands with cold ki as   
she put her hands together, palms flat, and made a chopping motion   
towards Medusa. Yuki separated her hands when they came parallel with   
the ground.  
Medusa's eyes widened in panic as a wave of freezing energy   
flowed along the mat towards her. She tried to jump out of the way,   
but she was too slow with her snake still on her left leg. Medusa   
clasped her arms over her breasts and knelt down to conserve her body   
temperature as her teeth chattered relentlessly.  
"Th-th-that w-w-w-w-wasn-n-n-n't v-v-v-very n-n-n-n-ice." Medusa   
told Yuki.  
"Then allow me to warm you up." Yuki responded, as she approached   
Medusa and engulfed her right hand in hot ki, "RISING DRAGON FIST!"  
The combination of hot ki and a solid uppercut sent Medusa out of   
the ring and into dream land. The medics on hand quickly draped a   
blanket over the unconscious girl before hauling her out of the arena,   
much to the booing of quite a few people.  
Yuki grumbled to herself while she exited the ring. The last   
thing she wanted to be reminded of was the Strip Fighter tournament.   
Especially since she was currently banned from her clan due to the   
shame inflicted by that entire tournament. Sure, it was called   
'starting a new branch', but essentially, it was the same as being   
kicked out. But being a ninja was like being in the mafia, one was   
never fully out until they were deceased.(4)  
Cerl considered Yuki as the kunoichi returned to the locker room   
to await the next round. There were a fair number of fighters who   
could use their ki, meaning that the next rounds were going to get more   
and more difficult. They would have anyway, but neither she nor Ranma   
were yet up to the level necessary for ki extension techniques, like   
Yuki's Ice Wave or Yuka's Scream Devil Bullet.  
Meanwhile, Cologne was contemplating the situation herself, but   
her focus was not on the tournament's participants, but rather the   
tournament overall. The tournament's contestants had been reduced from   
thirty-two to sixteen and yet, Cologne hadn't sensed anything   
malevolent in the air. However, Ihadurca, were she truly behind the   
tournament, would likely wait before trying to make an appearance. If   
anything, she would appear near the final match.  
  
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILLLL ILPALAZZO!" Excel cried.  
"It's 'Xenon', not Ilpalazzo." Lord Xenon gently reminded her,   
holding back the urge to fire a brain reintegrating beam at Excel,   
which was technically worse than a disintegrating beam as it would   
cause Excel's brain to fuse until it was a milk ball-sized walnut.  
"FORGIVE ME, LORD XENON! I AM NOT WORTHY! I AM NOT WORTHY!"   
Excel bawled, bowing rapidly.  
"Calm down, Excel." Lord Xenon commanded, the words causing Excel   
to fall silently to the floor, where she then return to her feet, in a   
much calmer state.  
"You are indeed worthy as you performed your job admirably. I   
was able to collect the energy to pay for the base, but you managed   
enough to begin the massive upgrades to our forces." Lord Xenon told   
her.  
Excel's eyes were wide, "Wha-what did you say?"  
"You did good." Lord Xenon reiterated his sentence in a   
simplified manner.  
Excel's eyes fluttered happily as her mind trailed off into an   
extravagant fantasy. Lord Xenon could only stare for the first few   
minutes, but when she began feeling herself up, he was forced to speak   
up, "That's enough, Excel..."  
He quietly added, "for now."  
Excel's mind and focus snapped back to reality. Then, as she   
realized that she was in a fanfic and not reality, her focus returned   
to the story.  
"However, even with this victory firmly in hand, we must continue   
moving forward or else the journey to world domination will be an   
infinite one." Lord Xenon explained.  
Excel nodded, her motivation magnified by a thousand percent at   
Lord Xenon's fancy words.  
"Therefore, I want you to begin DISCREETLY searching for new   
personnel, as we must first build a strong force with which to continue   
our march towards the future." Lord Xenon told her.  
"Well, actually, I do have a few friends that might be   
interested..." Excel began.  
"Excellent. Bring them here and we'll see if they wish to join   
our secret para-military organization of ACROSS." Lord Xenon commanded,   
"And in the meantime, I too shall seek out new personnel. Hmmm, is   
tonight good for you?"  
"Any night is good for me..." Excel said, blushing delicately.  
"I meant for the next meeting, where we'll bring new   
candidates?" Lord Xenon explained.  
"Oh, of course." Excel answered.  
[RATS!] Excel thought.  
  
Cerl looked at the lineup. The progression had shown very clear   
paths to victory. Jun, Elena, Yuka, Yuki, Ranma, herself and two other   
fighters, a man named Orion and a girl named Alleana, had made it to   
the semi-finals. She was preparing herself for her fight against   
Elena, who was obviously her next opponent, when the announcer stepped   
into the ring, "May I have your attention, please?"  
Cerl wondered what was going on when the announcer answered her   
question for her, "The semi-finals will begin tomorrow at noon. Semi-  
finalists, please report to locker room 1."  
Cerl frowned as the crowd booed the decision to delay the   
tournament an entire day. What did they have in store? She walked   
with Ranma back to the locker room he had changed in. Inside were the   
other six of the semi-finalists and the announcer, plus one of the   
judges, who had a clipboard and a small cardboard box that had a   
circular hole in the top.  
"Is everyone here?" the announcer asked, glancing around, before   
continuing, "Great. Now, I'm sure you're wondering why we're gathered   
here and I'll answer that right now. The sponsors of the tournament   
have asked us to change how the semi-finals work in order to spice up   
the competition a bit. So, we're going to call you up one by one to   
pick a number from the box."  
There was some grumbling, but everyone agreed.  
"First up, can we get Alleana?" the announcer inquired.  
The process of number selection went rather fast. Orion was 8,   
Elena was 7, Yuka was 6, Alleana was 5, Cerl was 4, Ranma was 3, Jun   
was 2, and Yuki was 1.  
"All right. You have until tomorrow to rest up before the semi-  
finals begin. Please be here at least one hour beforehand so that we   
can be certain that all of you are present. And good luck to each and   
every one of you." the announcer declared.  
  
That night was a rather busy one for ACROSS. Excel had invited   
four friends to meet Lord Xenon while Lord Xenon had chosen another two   
members. And yet, there were two other people there, confusing Excel.  
The meeting felt more like a welcoming party. There was a table   
on one side of the room covered in snack items on silver platters as   
well as a soda fountain with a disposable cup dispenser on it's right   
side.  
Currently visiting the cheese and crackers was Excel's best   
friend, the dark blue-haired and incredibly pale Hyatt Ayasugi, her   
long wavy hair and light brown eyes made her seem exotic, considering   
that most of the other new members were from Japan and thus, had fairly   
straight hair. She was wearing her red sweater and black jeans.  
Next to her was a red-haired red-eyed woman that Lord Xenon had   
chosen, named Misaki Matsuya, though the woman preferred being called   
'Matsuya'. Her long hair was tied back into a fountaining ponytail and   
her dark purple business attire gave her an extra serious look.  
Panting behind Matsuya was Excel's not-a-friend-at-all-but-an-  
annoying-dork-who-always-tagged-along Iwata Norikuni. His spiky brown   
hair and vacant brown eyes spoke even to Excel of the levels of   
stupidity that he possessed. He'd 'fallen in love' with both Matsuya   
and the tallest of the strangers that Excel didn't know. He wore an   
orange t-shirt and blue jeans.  
Sumiyoshi Daimaru was the strong silent type. Actually, he was   
silent because he was a mute telepath, but his telepathic ability was   
limited to 'speaking' to people and not actually reading their minds   
(meaning that he was a broadcast-only telepath). He was rather husky   
with short but neat-looking dark hair and he wore thick glasses that   
prevented most people from sending his eyes at all. He wore his usual   
green t-shirt and grey-blue pants.  
Toru Watanabe was Excel's best male friend (Sumiyoshi being a   
close second and Iwata failing to register as anything but an annoying   
tack on). He had very tan skin because he was from the country, and he   
had dark hair, but his hair was parted down the middle. Unlike most   
people who simply looked dorky with said hair style, the uneven ends   
made Toru look rather cool instead.(5) He wore a white unbutton shirt   
over a blue t-shirt and tan slacks. His dark eyes swept the room, and   
though he thought it was a waste of time, he wasn't about to leave.   
After all, the snacks were free and they were the most substantial   
things he'd eaten since he, Sumiyoshi and Iwata had been laid off from   
their previous part-time jobs.  
The last guy that Excel saw was Shioji Gojo. He wore glasses,   
but his were very thin. He wore a white lab coat over a business suit   
and he had short dark hair with a lesser version of the spikeyness that   
Iwata's hair possessed.  
The two people that Excel didn't know were two women. The first   
was a tall dark-puprle haired woman who wore a white double-breasted   
business suit similar to Matsuya's, but more formal. She wore a   
headband that kept her short hair out of her dark maroon eyes.  
The second girl was a head shorter than the first. She had the   
same eyes as the first woman, but she wore a black vest over a white   
button shirt with a white skirt. On her hands were black gloves and   
short but adorable black slipper-like boots were on her feet. Her hair   
was the most unusual part of her. Directly over her head was pink hair   
that was almost like a flattened cap with purple hair fanning out from   
behind her ears similar to a laureate.(6)  
Lord Xenon stood up from his seat and cleared his throat loudly,   
bringing everyone's attention to him. He gestured and nine folding   
metal chairs levitated from a far corner to arrange themselves in front   
of him. He motioned his guests and Excel to sit. Shioji and the two   
unknown women sat down to Lord Xenon's right.  
Once they were seated, he spoke, "It's so nice of you all to come   
here, and on such short notice. You may or may not know, depending on   
what Excel has told you or what you've found out independently, but we   
are the ideological para-militaristic secret organization ACROSS. We   
are currently seeking world domination, but for now, we're working on   
building up our personnel and power. I am Lord Xenon, leader of the   
ACROSS. Excel is my second in command... for now."  
Watanabe raised his hand and Lord Xenon nodded. Watanabe spoke   
up, "Is this for real?"  
"Yes. I know the idea of joining a secret organization,   
especially in this day and age, seems preposterous. However, we are   
more than a mere terrorist organization or any such nonsense." Lord   
Xenon said, before walking down and handing Toru a metal bar, "Try to   
bend this. Pass it around when you're ready to give up."  
Toru tried with all his might to bend the bar, but it wouldn't   
budge. Frustrated, he passed it Matsuya, who also tried. Matsuya   
handed it to Excel, who tried and, just like Toru and Matsuya, also   
failed. However, instead of allowing her to pass it on, Lord Xenon   
spoke up, "Hold on to it, Excel."  
Excel blinked in confusion as Lord Xenon placed a hand on her   
shoulder. Xenon's hand glowed with a bluish aura briefly, then as he   
removed his hand, Xenon told her, "Try bending it again."  
Excel bent the bar easily, and though the sound of bending metal   
was not a very pleasant one, everyone was more in awe of the sudden   
display of strength.  
"I bet it's a trick bar." Toru commented.  
Excel passed the bar to him and he tried to unbend it, but just   
like his attempt to bend it, he failed miserably. Xenon smiled and   
placed his hand on Toru's shoulder. His hand flared even more briefly   
than it had with Excel.  
"Try bending it now." Xenon told him, taking his hand off Toru's   
shoulder.  
Watanabe's eyes went wide as he bent the bar as easily as he   
could bend a soggy ramen noodle.  
"Though the effect will fade in a day for you, Watanabe, that is   
just a very small taste of the power that I can grant you and everyone   
else, should any of you decide to join ACROSS. Even better, you can   
consciously shut off the power at any time and no, your unconscious and   
subconscious cannot activate it unless you are in actual danger." Xenon   
explained.  
"Amazing..." Matsuya commented.  
"However, there is one small problem." Lord Xenon announced,   
"Since we will not be making very much money at this, you all will   
still need to find work if you wish to continue living in society.   
Otherwise, we now have personal quarters down here that you can live   
in."  
Shioji arched an eyebrow, reminding Lord Xenon of his presense.  
"Oh yes, and this is our new resident mad scientist, Professor   
Shioji Gojo. He is the creator of our two android compatriots, uh..."   
Lord Xenon faltered, then turned to Shioji, "By the way, you never told   
me their names."  
"Ropponmatsu." Shioji answered.  
"And the other one?" Lord Xenon inquired.  
"Ropponmatsu." Shioji repeated.  
Lord Xenon sighed, recalling that Shioji was called a MAD   
scientist for a reason (and it wasn't because he was angry), then   
pointed at the taller of the two androids, "You're Roppon," then to the   
smaller, "And you're Matsu."  
The two androids nodded.  
"Anyway, Roppon and Matsu will be assisting you in the field.   
Shioji will be designing weapons and such for us." Lord Xenon   
explained.  
"Pleased to meet you." Shioji spoke up.  
"Actually, Professor, I thought the two androids would look   
similar. Why does one look like she's not even out of junior high?"   
Lord Xenon inquired.  
"A matter of taste." Shioji answered, laughing light-heartedly,   
despite the disgusted expressions on the faces of the other humans in   
the room.  
"ANYways," Xenon declared, thinking quickly to change the subject   
from the professor's 'tastes' in women, and directing his attention to   
the two androids, "why don't you two show us exactly how good your   
creator's work is with a small display of skill? Anything that you   
think will impress us will be fine."  
Roppon and Matsu both rolled forward, grabbing their chairs out   
from beneath them as they moved and flinging said chairs into the air.   
Roppon leapt up after hers and cut her chair to pieces with a   
vibroblade that extended from the back of her hand, while Matsu fired   
lasers from her eyes to slice her chair to pieces, then leapt after it.   
In a flurry of motion, both androids landed, holding the remains of   
their chairs, which were fashioned into rough, but identifiable,   
sculptures of themselves.  
"........ that's... great...." Xenon said, slowly applauding. As   
if their brains had been kick started by Xenon's clapping, everyone   
save Shioji, joined in on the applause.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) Kami-sama means "God". Watch the poseurdom of the author as he   
adds other crappy Japanglish to his story and pass it off as   
educational!  
(2) Level 1 is from the VG anime. Only a few of the VG video games   
show the actual stripping (Super VG for instance lacked it entirely),   
so the anime mocked up a system for how far a girl had to go if she   
lost. I'm a bit hazy on the details, but I think Level 1 is full   
masturbatory goodness (or at least, that's what the video implies)   
while a Level 5 is probably just walking away from the fight. Yuka   
states that Jun didn't need to strip naked at Level 4, so that's the   
impression that I get. Level 4 probably demands the fighter to strip   
down to underwear or something.(3)  
(3) Aren't ya glad I'm a pervert who has too much time on his hands?  
(4) And sometimes, not even then.  
(5) Gee, can you tell which of the three guys that the author favors?  
(6) Her hair alwaya seema incomplete to me. So, I've altered it to   
make it seem more 'right'. As a laureate is that wreath-thingy that   
greek gods, nobility and merchants always wear.  
  
"I don't hate Anno anymore. If you look at it, there were only   
two real ways to end Evangelion. The first was to make everything come   
out all right, but the series was already too dark to allow such a lame   
/ cheesy ending. The second was what happened in the two movies and   
everyone hated that. So, given those options, the ending for   
Evangelion that Anno originally provided was probably the best one   
could hope for." - A-kun  
  
"If I die before I wake... then I guess someone gets an extra   
donut at breakfast, don't they?" - Dennis Miller, HBO Comedy Special   
Comedy Central  
  
Chapter 8, incomplete.  
  
Stay tuned!  
  
Next chapter:  
The next few rounds of the tournament unfold!  
Cologne discovers the truth behind the tournament!  
Evil Inc.'s first plot unraveled!  
And Cerl versus Ranma! 


End file.
